Is there a point where you can write-off a parent?

Question

My father left our family when I was only six - I am now 27. He never paid the maintenance he was supposed to and left my mother to fend for both myself and my brother. I had to make contact with him when I was 15 years old - then lived with him for two years before he sent me off to Israel to 'grow up'. When I returned he had decided to move to another country 10 000 miles from where I grew up. Now I am married and have a two month old baby. I have, again, packed up my whole life to follow after him, to no avail. In no uncertain terms he swore at me on the phone 'F%*k you, f%*k your wife and f%*k your child!' Not to mention the too regular references to my baby girl's genitals! I am at a point where I want nothing to do with him EVER AGAIN. Where does one draw the line? I feel that for the safety of myself and my family we should have no further exposure to him. Can I just push him out of my life, permanently?

Answer 1

Your first instinct is to protect your wife and child. If he is that big of a danger to them, then by all means write him out of your life and be done with him once and for all. Your family does not need to be exposed to him. He may have helped create you, but in no way is he your father. It is really sad to hear that a parent wants nothing to do with their children.

Answer 2

actually there is an severe the position we may be able to all agree each individual is abdicating their ordinary jobs as a verify (and obviously no longer leaving the domicile in 4 months, notwithstanding with slightly of luck that became an exaggeration, would fall in that determination). yet i'm both baffled by the severe of parenting the position moms and dads experience that there is something incorrect with getting a babysitter for some hours once a week or 2 to pass out for an individual dinner, or for sitting contained in the the residing room typing on the computing gadget for 20 minutes even as the little ones are thankfully playing monopoly contained in the study. the fashion i have talked about is purely the different: distinct moms and dads look to hover needlessly or think of their youngsters will fall down if left for 2 hours with someone except mom or if mom or dad isn't fiddling with them or telling them what and a thanks to play each 2d. I do exactly not imagine that does youngsters any favors: the international contains more desirable than purely mom, and youngsters do favor to journey some age-perfect independence. even as i became a baby, we were unceremoniously kicked out the door and instructed to "pass play" until eventually dinner (I lived in a rural section the position that became a very sensible aspect to assert). As youngsters, we thrived on having your time to ourselves and our personal imaginations, no longer hovered over by our moms and dads. i do not supply my youngsters that sort of day vacation of overlook; I supply it to them (watered down; we do not stay in extremely that variety of section, regrettably; right here this is extra playing contained in the back backyard even as I watch from the window) because i imagine that is superb for them.

Answer 3

It sounds like he has already told you in spoken (and unspoken) words that he does not want you in his life. I would place my wife and my child at a much greater priority that a parent who negatively participated in my life. Do what is right for the family you currently have a responsibility for.

Answer 4

He obviously doesn't care for you. You're better off being where you are with your wife and child. Your dad is the one who needs to f*** off. He needs to be written off here and now and yes you can just push him permanently from your life. He's already written you off. Good luck.

Answer 5

oh boy what a gem he is..and yes you can push him out of your life ...find a support group or therapist if this really bothers you..but it sounds like he has some serious issues himself and you do not need to infect your new family with this. and find people whom you love and trust to be your family sometimes its not to whom we ar norn to that makes a fmily but who we accept as family....Good Luck

Answer 6

You have every right to right him out of your life. And don't even feel gulity about it, you've done everything you could. Your wife and child are more important.

Answer 7

It sounds to me like this is one of the cases where yes you can. It sounds like he could be a danger to your family. Let him go.

Answer 8

heck yeah. Walk away before the next generation is damaged by his behavior

Answer 9

Wow. You would have to be crazy if you didn't completely avoid him permanently as hard as it might seem. Very sorry for you.

Answer 10

yes, you should cut all ties with him.. he is a butt head and you and your family are better off with out him .i suggest you move your family away from him and have no contact claim he is dead to you .