My husband and I are both in the military. He is gone now I am left taking care of our 4 month old myself.?

Question

I get up at 5am every morning, get myself and my baby ready then take her to daycare then go to work until 4pm. By the time I get home its about 430 or later. I am starting to have trouble dealing with this. I am always exhausted and feel overwhelmed. Any advice how to deal with this? I dont want to have to be away from my daughter anymore than I have too so having someone watch her in the evening is not an option.

Answer 1

if u r a believer in Christ our lord and savior take out 5minutes when u get up and pray to our lord first thank him 4 who he is then thank him 4 ur daughter and then ask him 4 the strength and patience that u need and i guarentee u that u will b able 2 deal with anything he is the only true way!!!!!!!!!!!!

May the Lord bless u and your daughter.

Answer 2

I don't know much about the military, but I would look into talking to a counselor or someone who may be able to help you get lighter duty while your husband is away. I know when my son was 4 months old, he was not sleeping much and I really needed some help. I was lucky and was able to stay home with him until he was 5 months old. Even being home, when my husband came home, I needed to take a nap! When I went back to work, I felt guilty about leaving him, but I was so tired I still had to take a break once and a while. Maybe find a mother's helper who could come help you for a few hours in the evening. Then you could get dinner or do a few tasks while the helper was there.You could still talk to your baby while you were eating. You'd still be spending time with your baby. Or the mother's helper could do laundry, vacuum, dust, or other little tasks so that you could just relax with your baby. Please talk to someone. In my opinion, it's not healthy to be working 24 hours a day. That's essentially what you are doing.

Answer 3

This is from a Veteran of the army and also a single parent dad of three. I feel for ya! I have 3 and yes I took care of them by myself when I was active duty. 2 in diapers and a 4yr old at the time. It is hard at first but trust me, keep doing just what you are doing and your body will adjust to the rutine. Hey, I'm a guy and did it and so can you. The trick to it is, when your baby goes to sleep for a nap, take some quiet time for yourself and do something you like( I would just vegitate in front a good movie). Also, once a week(sat. or sun. is best) have someone watch the baby(even if it's just a couple hours) and go and do something you enjoy even though you think you don't want to be away from the child. This really helps. Everyone needs a brake from time to time even if they don't realize it.

Answer 4

Well, how about you take some time off for yourself. This means if your daughter is sleeping take some time out for yourself, take a bath, read a book, maybe even take a nap yourself. Also, try to get healthy and going to bed at a decent hour so you get at least 6 hours of sleep but no more than 8- if you get more than 8 hours of sleep you may feel more groggy and tired than when you went to bed. Another thing to consider is dropping the baby off to a relatives house for a few hours on the weekend, this way you can make time for yourself and relax.

Another thing to consider is taking an afternoon nap, instead of going to lunch for an hour, eat something lite, and take a 20 minute nap. This nap will bring back the energy you lost in the morning and perhaps by the time it's time to go home you may not feel so exhausted. Also, on your drive home, try not to think about things that need to be done, instead daydream, and fantasize about things you enjoy doing, and maybe even make plans to do them.

Answer 5

You're very lucky to be in the military. Most single moms don't get off nearly as early and have no resource to turn to.

Don't you have a family life services department or something? I know a friend of mine in the Air Force got free counseling there when her husband left. They will probably also have leads on support groups.

Also check your church. Mine has a once-a-month Mom's night out where you bring your kids with you for fellowship and desserts at this cute lil bakery. It's nice to get some downtime with adults while still spending time with the kids.

If you feel it's getting really bad, you could speak to your doctor about medication for depression, too. That's also very common for women in your situation.

Answer 6

Hi Dearest,

Yes here is my advice to you. Network with other wives who have deployed husbands. They must have some of the same challenges that you have. Perhaps there is a support group. If you live on a military base, start with MWR I think it is called, or the base chapel. If you do not live on a military base, you must have a dependent ID card, which will give you access to a military base - perhaps the base of your husband's unit. Then, seek out a support group in that way. My heart will go with you.

Answer 7

First of all, hooah to you and your hubby. Secondly, congrats on your baby girl.

Have you thought about having a relative (his mom/your mom/sisters/aunts/whoever) come stay with you for a little while? Or friends? Maybe another military wife? Just someone to help around the house a little bit so you can unwind without having to leave your baby. I dunno what your individual circumstances are, but I know that when I have kids, my mom's gonna come help out. I'll be a military mom, too, so I guess I can kinda sympathize with what you're dealing with

Answer 8

Honestly, you are just going to have to deal with it. What could help is if you could get a sitter at least one a week for you to have some time to yourself. Or get your mother in law or mother to come for a visit and give you alittle break. When my husband was deployed that helped tremendously.

Answer 9

maybe you should leave the military , get a night job so you wont have to be away from the baby and then hire a sitter so the baby will be asleep when you go to work so there is no time lost between you and her. if that doesnt work then im sorry i couldnt help.Then good luck!

Answer 10

Instead of having someone watch your daughter in the evening, try having someone come over to help, so it would be the three of you. You'd have a little help, and still be with your daughter.