Another year of preschool or onto kindergarden?

Question

I spent all of last year fighting cancer (I just turned 25) I spent the end of May and most of June in the hospital for some pretty invasive chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant.

My question is, my son will be five in September and could go to kindergarden, but the last year has been so crazy, I feel a lot has been neglected as far as school goes. He's amazing with his school work, but socially things have been a mess. That and I have a very compromised immune system so I can't be around a lot of children for the next year (I need re vaccinated because my immune system was destroyed) So I will miss any school functions, programs, parent's days...ect.

Would a second year of preschool with teachers that understand our situation be best? I feel like either way, I'm depriving him. I hate to give him a late start, but I hate to rush things and not be there the way other parents can.

My biggest concern for him is; in the last year between doctors, chemo, tests, scans, hospitals and everything we've had to schedule, he hasn't spent a lot of time in groups of kids his age. He is smart but gets shy around larger groups of kids. My only real concern is him getting into kindergarden and struggling with the class full of kids and me not really being able to help as much as I would like to. (Yes, my husband helps but with all the medical bills and the fact that I can't work, he can't always drop work and be at the school either)

My son can't really "fail" preschool, but if he struggles in kindergarden he could be held back, which leaves us with him going to kindergarden when he's 6 anyway. Though I also believe he could adapt and probably do ok in kindergarden if given the chance, I'm just not sure which would be best for him.

Answer 1

I would wait & do another year of preschool. If the preschool your son attends is near the elementary school, chances are pretty good that he'll be in kindergarten with some of his preschool buddies - which will be a boost socially since he'll already have some friends. (My oldest son's preschool was in a different school district, so he went into kindergarten without knowing a soul. That was hard for him since a lot of the kids were already friends with each other. His brother goes to a preschool closer to home & already knows that 3 of his friends will be in his class.)

Academically, it won't hurt him to have a little head start. That is definitely easier on a child that having to struggle and/or be held back. (My step-daughter started Kindergarten on the day she turned 5 and she has been struggling since 1st grade - she is now in 6th.)

And for YOU! It sounds like you really want to be involved with your son's activities & that is awesome! Another year of preschool will not be as demanding , so you and your son can enjoy the extra time you have together. Then when he starts kindergarten, hopefully you'll both be up for the adventure!

Good luck & enjoy!

Answer 2

I think that either way you decide to go will be okay- you are trying to do what is best for your son and are considering the situation he is in. I think that if you want him to go to Kindergarten, just fill the school in on your situation. They will understand that things have been crazy for him and help him make a smooth transition. He will meets lots of friends and the socialization will settle in for him in time. Plus, don't worry that you have been sick and haven't taught him everything. WHile it does help kids to come to school knowing how to write their name, letters and numbers - he will quickly catch up. And if the school knows the situation, they can possibly even arrange for him to get some extra attention and time in these areas to help him make the gains needed. As far as missing school programs, I know that will be hard for you - but in Kindergarten, there isn't always as many programs as when they are older. It might work out that you only miss a concert or two. And, there might be a way that the school could accomodate you. Possibly you could go watch a rehearsal so that you are not around all the kids (I know of course you would still be around some kids and exposed to the germs in the school, but it might be better then if the whole school and all the parents were there too with their germs) the day of the actual show. I am a teacher and I know that my school would do whatever we could to help you with this. Again, it will work out no matter what you choose. You are trying to do what is best for you son and that is what is most important. I wish you luck with making your decision!

Answer 3

I am an Elem. Ed teacher k-6. So many parents rush to get their kids to kindergarten just because they hit the magic #5 when in reality they need to keep them in preschool another year. Just because a child knows his ABC's and is smart does not mean they are socially or emotionally ready for the big school. Boys especially benefit from another year of preschool. Kindergarten can be a big change and it sounds like your son has had a lot of big changes and worries in the last year so maybe the comfort of another year to mature may benefit him. It has been my experience that the boys who do better in kindergarten are the one's whose parents gave them that extra year. Remember he is not competing with the other 5 year olds and there is no shame in waiting , what matters is what is best for your son. Besides what is the hurry? Don't they grow up too fast as it is?

Answer 4

If he is at he is supposed to be at his age, you are risking that he will get bored when repeating a year because the tasks are designed for children at a particular level of thinking. I am sure that a kindergarten teacher will be just as perceptive to your situation as the preschool teachers are. It sounds a little as if you were the one who is missing the year of his life and not him, which is completely understandable, but does not necessarily give you the right prospective on the problem. I am sure he will be happy if daddy will turn out to his school functions with a camera your son will then get to watch the video and talk about the event with mommy at home, even though he will not be able to get mommy to come herself (actually, this might be a good thing on several levels - you get to bond, he will improve his language and memory skills etc.). In the end, you might want to ask him whether he wants to stay with his current teachers (which he will if he needs the adult support) or whether he wants to continue with his friends (which he, again, will, if he is just fine) as long as you make clear that he will not be able to make the same choice again next year. I hope you will have many more and better years to enjoy with your son once this ordeal is behind you.

Answer 5

My son turned 6 the month before he started kindergarten. Where we live, you have to be 5 by July 1. So he missed the cut of date. He knew what he needed to know to start school, but I honestly felt he wasn't ready socially. The extra year of preschool really helped. I would keep yours out one more year as well. Not only to get into a groove at preschool, but also to give you more time with him now that you are feeling better and things aren't so hectic.

Glad you are better. :)

Answer 6

Health issues at home or not, and I'm not saying your son has learning issues, but boys usually develop a little slower. Their maturity and school readiness. If his birthday is in September and he goes off to kindergarten now, he will always be the youngest in his class. One more year of preschool is not going to hurt him, it can only help. He really won't remember spending one more year in preschool, but he will remember being the last one to get his driver's license. I've been there, I have a September birthday as well and I now that I'm older and look back at my schooling, I wish my parents had kept me in preschool one more year. I think it would have made a huge difference in my maturity level, study habits, organization, etc., not to mention I was always the youngest of all my friends. Keep him back one more year, it will do him a world of good and help him to see things are getting back to "normal". God bless, and good luck with everything.

Answer 7

Wow, first I'm sorry about your situation. I would go for another year of preschool. It wouldn't hurt him either way I don't think. Especially if he is just turning 5 in September. My son turned 5 in January so he'll be almost 6 when school starts, but that's the way it worked for him.

Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear about your illness.

Anyway, I think you should send him to kindergarten. No kid is ever really "ready" for kindergarten. They adjust as the school year goes on. And if it seems he is having problems the teacher will certainly let you know.

As far as not being there for school functions, have someone videotape them for you. Alot of parents can't attend school functions for whatever reason (work, other children to watch, etc.) so I wouldn't feel bad if I were you.

Hope everything works out and hope you are feeling well. Good luck.

Answer 9

As a preschool teacher, I would suggest another year of preschool to prepare him socially to enter elementary school. Being able to do what is expected in kindergarten involves a lot of social-emotional concepts that preschool could help prepare your son for a smoother transition into kindergarten. Communication between you and his teacher s is very important so that they are able to help your son adjust and excel.

Answer 10

Wiat, wait and wait. I have a five year old that is reading and can do math at the first grade level. He would be the younger one in the class and he is very active. We are sending him to Jr K this year which is a preschool for kids whose parents chose to hold them out a year. Research shows huge benefits for kids who had parents who waited a year. It is called Academic Redshirting. Parents who do this are generally professionals with college and advanced degrees.