There is this girl that i like... i mean i love a lot. But i couldn't make a move because of 2 reasons. First she's my friend. And second im not her type. Ok ill be honest... im ugly and im afraid of what she would say if i tell her what i feel. You see all through out my life i've been rejected and disregarded by many people-including my family. Its ok for me. I can accept all the rejections anyone could give, but not if it will come from her. It will really hurt me and will downgrade me badly. Plsss help me.
2006-06-29 13:31:51 · 20 answers · asked by Ansem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok well I can definatly relate to you, a shy, not the best looking person on the block, but interesting person in a not really talkative type way. So I am NOT going to tell you to go for it right away. I would say that you should probably start off real slow and not profess your love quite yet. Well she's your friend right? So ask her if she would like to come over your house and watch a movie. While you are watching, you could scoot a little closer to her but not say anything, or when you pass over popcorn or whatever you could let your hand brush across hers, and if she flinches when you touch her hand or moves farther away from you when you scoot nearer, then those are obvious signs that she is not into you. Also, ask her other friends things about her like her favorite movie (for the occasion obviously) or her favorite foods and stuff like that. If some of her other friends know that you like her, they could possibly help move your love along. Also, like other people said in their answers before me, you should definatly become more confedent in youself. Girls like that in a guy, we don't like whiny guys who feel sorry for themselves. We want a guy that could beat some guy up if he molests us or somthing!!! hehe I'm not saying that you have to become Mr. Cool, just stop saying things like "i am rejected and disregarded by all". Because I am pretty sure thats not gonna work....Well thats all I have to say, I hope you take my advice. And if you don't....welll then...don't :)
good luck young grasshopper
2006-06-29 14:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by Youra_fruitcake 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't have a straightforward answer, except to mention that no matter how much you've been rejected, the biggest problem you have isn't rejection from her -- it's your own self-image.
If I were you, I'd skip telling her you love her, and start working on loving yourself. Get counseling, get new hobbies and learn new skills (play a musical instrument, for instance), meet new people, and discover what a great person you are.
At some point in the future, you'll have the self-love and confidence to ask her on a date -- or you'll have met someone else and hooked up.
Finally: if you elect to ignore my advice and proceed anyway, here's a fun way to do it -- mind you, this ended the friendship I had with this particular woman, but it was a rejection based on my admission that I'd like to hook up with her, not that I LOVE LOVE LOVE here (although, as it happened, I didn't).
Simply find another girl you're interested in (preferrably someone your friend doesn't know, but have someone in mind, as if you're lying about there being someone it could backfire even worse) then one night say to your friend, "hey, I met this girl [name], and I'm thinking about asking her out -- but before I do, I want to know if you and I have a chance, because I'm much more interested in dating you."
Yeah, she might say no, but at least you haven't professed your undying love. Heh. And hey, when I did this, I followed up by asking the other girl out, and she said yes. So there you go.
2006-06-29 13:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Define ugly. Beauty and ugly are skin deep. The glow of love does not shine on the show boats of life. Some of the mos "beautiful woman in the world have had disasterous love lives because of many reasons which have little to do with exterior features. You mist like yourself first. You must share that glow of caring and friendship first, and then you cand possibly cultivate that relationship into something more intimate.
2006-06-29 13:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by Airborne Traveler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by saying some other things to see how she would react. Compliment her, not just looks-wise but personality-wise. Say things like, "I wanted to let you know I really admire you for (insert reason here)." Or, "I think you are a really caring person because (insert reason here)." If she reacts positively to those things, I would probably tell her I love her because of those things, in a manner such as- "that's why I love you."
If she is your friend, you already know she likes you enough to hang around you. Maybe she feels more for you than you think!
Good luck!
2006-06-29 13:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends love each other. My best friend is a dude and I love him. (Not in a gay way though.) If you feel for her, then tell her. It be pretty sweet to be friends with your wife. If youre worried about her likeing you don't be."Friends are people who know who you really are, and still want to be your friend." Go for it. Viva la vida. Live the life.
2006-06-29 13:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by Irzu_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with her and tell her. Besides, you have to take risks sometimes in life. When you say it, think of how you'd feel if she said she felt the same about you. And smile.
2006-06-29 13:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is 100 percent about pain and emotional risk. However, since you are already setting yourself up for failure, you need to adjust your attitude and make the big move.
2006-06-29 13:35:29 · answer #7 · answered by Fun and Games 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her how you feel! If she is your friend then she has to like you in some way!
I'm sure that her response will not intentionally hurt you! Either way if you can't have her you can still be friends with her!
2006-06-29 13:35:36 · answer #8 · answered by Beccygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her cause if you dont shell never know n youll go around wonderin wat would happen if you would of. Would of, could of, should of, will be in your mind if you DIDNT tell her and if she goes by looks n not wat is on the inside it wont work n e way so just tell her watz tha worse can happen shell tell you she dont see you in that way n u are expecting that n e way so itz not like you would be shocked but wat if she likes you n you dont tell her then you'll never know if she a friend she will be your friend till the end if not then she wasnt your friend to begin with besides that she prolly already knows she might be waitin for you to tell her. SO TELL HERRRRRRRRRRR
2006-06-29 13:43:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you seen the breakfast club? claire and whatshisname got together at the end...basically opposites attract boy! i mean maybe she feels the same way? but prepare for the worst like you have to do with everything. good luck
2006-06-29 13:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by wubwou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋