hi iive always had this, grass looks greener on the otherside syndrome. i live in england, im 29 and i long to find my utopia in life. ive endured mental health problems since i was 15, anger, depression, anxiety, i commited a felony years ago because of my anger, an assault. im ashamed of this and im trying to put it in the past. i have a better handle on life better than i ever have, but i still struggle. im awaiting psychotherapy. i unfortunatly dont have any friends or partner, but i have supportive parents. my aims and aspirations in life are that i would love to ajust to life be self sufficiant, live in nice suroundings, find employment, get a partner, someone to love me. and i would even like to emmegrate to the states. but on depressing days when i feel really down and lonley. i find it hard to see how these aspirations that i long for will ever come true! i just want to succeed in life. but sometimes people tell me to lower my ambitions because there to high. can any 1 help?
2006-06-29 13:19:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
One of the most important things I have found in succeding at attaining your goals is to set realistic and measurable goals. For example, my goal several years ago was to graduate from college. I started out and I really found myself struggling and sinking rather than being able to stay afloat. I failed a class in college after being an A student in high school. I realized that setting a goal as abstract as "graduate from college" was not going to help me. I needed to focus on the here and now. So I had a goal of graduating from college, but I set a more specific objective that for the current semester I would get straight A's no matter how much work it took. I focused on this objective each semester and I actually managed to succeed in obtaining straight As in all of my classes and graduated college as the valedictorian commencement speaker for a graduating class of thousands of students. Clearly I had not only met my goal ,but exceeded what I ever could have imagined doing. Like you, I had mental health issues, and while I didn't get into any legal troubles, I never sought out the help I needed which would have eased my load a lot over the years.
My advice to you would be narrow your focus on the here and now. It's great to have long-term aspirations, but what are you going to do right now to help you get there... you need to plan out where you want your life to be in one day, one month, one year, etc. No one wakes up one morning and magically has all of their hopes and dreams come true. Through hard work and many, many failures you begin to make progress toward your dreams. It's not easy and when you combine a mental illness with attaining your dreams, it makes it that much more difficult. Not impossible by any means. You need to start by sitting down and thinking not about what your dreams are (because clearly you already know), but rather figure out what you need to do to get there. Suddenly you will feel that your life has direction and purpose and YOU WILL SUCCEED.
I also want to applaud you for getting the help you need for your psychological issue. You have more strength to do that than many people, including myself. That is a great first step in achieveing your desires and in working with your therapist, you will undoubtedly be able to further develop your plans of how you are going to reach your dreams.
I wish you nothing but the best in your quest for your dreams. Go for it and know that at times you will fail, but you look back at that, learn one thing from it, and move on. You'll get there.
2006-06-29 13:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by softballer006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You choose again, you choose a context bigger than you to live into, so you live a contextually filled life rather than a content filled life. Something that will go on to survive you after you die. Who was it who said "if i had 80 lifetimes i could never learn all there was to learn" or " I thought i was poor when i had no shoes, until i saw a man with no feet" life doesnt look a particular way because we are "experiential" beings,we think if it looks that way, our way, a particular way it will work out and it doesnt, why? because at school they teach us when we "HAVE" it then we can "BE" it then we can "DO" it, this is a fundemental lie from cultural myth! and also the reason 85% of the population dies financially and spiritually broke. So this is how it works I'ts BE-DO - HAVE not HAVE - BE - DO >>> BE thirsty DO what 's appropriate (get a drink) then you can HAVE. it because you cant "have" it before you "be" it or "do" it. so give up the attachment to having a purpose,you choose your purpose, and it will come from all the object lessons you've had in life up till now, so now look for where you can apply all those qualities that you do want that are important to you and learn to specialise. so who are you BEING?and who do you want to BE in the future? the having comes anyway as a validation of your contribution and doersnt look a particular way, unless of course your motivated from that fear of survival attachment to form i.e MONEY rather than being contextual. So your context creates the experience that motivates you, the experience creates the FORM (which doesn't look a particular way) and the form is a validation of your contribution, be it money, satisfaction,contentment and the last two and to evolve and pass our knowledge and wisdom onto others to serve them to grow is the most we can ever really achieve anyway and all the rest is BS. Do some seminas that assist your personal growth.
2006-06-29 13:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No when LeBron is on the court you have a chance to win every game-he creates plays-make things happen. You just HOPE they fail horribly. Mike Brown is a defensive genius...adjustments will be made and I assure you that the Cavs will show up in Orlando to play tough playoff basketball DESPITE your predictions and what you WANT to happen. Crippling LeBron? he has played less minutes these playoffs then any players on any of the other 3 teams left.
2016-03-26 22:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass may look greener on the other side, but really it's just diiferent shade of green. No matter what side you're on you'll still have brown patches the same as before. I don't believe life is about having the best green grass, but how you fix all the brown patches.
2006-06-29 13:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sean M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life has been very difficult! But one thing that would help is every day think of something to thank God for and think about that. It will help to change your thought patterns.
There are other people who've been in your postition and they were able to make it. Your past doesn't determine your future--your present does.
2006-06-29 13:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one step at a time and get some help. Do this and you will be fine.
2006-06-29 13:24:04 · answer #6 · answered by ĴΩŋ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go and let God.
It isn't easy....but doing it does make it easier to have a better outlook on life.
Good luck
2006-06-29 13:23:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best things in life are never easy, if they were they wouldn't mean much
2006-06-29 13:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by michael m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PrAY my friend! no really god helps all.
2006-06-29 13:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by *~JeS~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋