Someone please explain this to me?!!?!?!!!!!?

Question

I have a home day care, I used to work outside the home and decided to stay home for my son and help out other parents at the same time. If you were on maternity leave would you put your first child in day care for 10 hours a day while you stayed home with the new baby? One of the parents of the kids I watch does this and it's driving me crazy!!!! He's the first one here when I open my door in the morning, I mean they are standing at the door when I open it, and he's the last one picked up, walkin in the door at 5:29 when I close at 5:30! I know they pay for the services I provide and they want to keep him on his schedule, but this is ridiculous in my opinion. I could understand if she was at home all day or recovering from a difficult delivery, but she's not and it's been almost 2 months, the mom is not even at home all the time, she's out shopping, going to movies, whatever and she's not taking advantage of the limited time she has off from work to spend with her child!

I just don't understand how a parent could rationalize this in their mind. Dumping a child in day care all day when you could be spending more time with them is completely foreign to me!

Huh, it IS my business. They bring their child into MY HOME!!! I'm not saying they shouldn't bring him at all, but they should be ashamed that they bring him for 10 hours a day when someone in their family is off from work and could be spending more time with this child. You must not have kids or maybe you would understand my argument! And I am not jealous, I get to spend all day with my child and I love every minute of it!

Also, this second baby was planned and they want to have SEVERAL more! Why would you have more than one child if you did not feel confident to care for more than one child at a time?! That is crazy and selfish and I'm gettin more pissed off just thinking about it!!!!!

Answer 1

You would think that she would want both of the kids together so the oldest one doesn't become jealous and so they could bond as siblings. I could not and would not do this ever. How do you think this child is going to behave around the new baby knowing he is almost the same as not wanted since the new baby has arrived.

Answer 2

I totally understand why you're upset, but CALM DOWN. It's common. Some new Moms love the cuddling, nursing, attention, and whatnot so much that they miss it when the baby grows up and no longer needs to be held as much as before. Since the new baby needs these things, she's sucking up all the time she can with the baby while hyperkid goes running around somewhere else. I've seen this at least 15 times. It's painful to watch, but you just have to give the older child the attention he/she isn't getting at home. Maybe you can suggest that she uses one day a week for the older child. It may help if you tell her how much toddlers like to help with the new baby, and they tend to act out (sometimes violently) if they feel they are being replaced. Also 5:30-5:30 is 12hours! That's illegal in Illinois. You might want to check your state laws. Enforce your 10hr limit. Have a cut off time for drop off. That will make the child's days shorter and believe it or not, it discourages abuse of services. I hate seeing children have a 9-5 at daycare. It's too long for thier little bodies.

Answer 3

This I can not understand. This also makes no sense to me. If anything I would keep both children home so that everyone would have that time to bond with the new arrival. Is the boy jealous of the baby? I personaly have a 10 year old step daughter and I wouldn't think about putting her in daycare to save my life. She is such a big help and right after I had my baby she was a great support and so loving and the bonding that happend over the following weeks is irreplaceable. I feel so bad for this little boy because if he isn't already jealous he may likely turn that way becasue of all the time mommy is spending with the new baby. This makes no sense to me and I am sorry I can not offer a great answer but I can most definately agree that your feelings are valid.

Answer 4

You are right. She should be spending a little more time with her first child. Maybe you should try talking to her, and letting her know that this schedule is not working out. Suggest that since she is home, that she brings the child in an hour later and picks it up an hour earlier.

Answer 5

Thats a sad situation for the kid, but as long as they're paying don't let it worry you. Just make the kids day as great as you can. If the long hours are bothering you, put a shorter time limit in place. Some people just don't seem to get this parenting thing. On that note, I'm getting off this computer and going to go play with my son.

Answer 6

No doubt, mothers like the one you've discribed are a mystery, but they do exist. Now, not to say that this is this woman's situation, but I was born, way back before day cares, to a mother with all the maternal instinct of a sea turtle. Also, my father had absolutely no room in his heart for anyone but himself. Mother's solution was to trundle me off to be raised by her mother and dad. It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. My grandparents were wonderful people and terrific parrents. Had I been kept by my real parents, there probably isn't enough theropy available to streighten out the damage.

Consider this; leaving her child, for all the hours possible, in a safe and comfortable and, for all I know, nurturing place may be the best care she's able to provide. It may not be classic parenting, but it shows a measure of concern. The alternative may be grim.

Answer 7

I know exactly what you mean. I do daycare too and for all of you who are bashing on this lady about the fact she is getting "paid" to watch to child, well you don't do daycare! I can't believe people would say "well i am paying her to watch him", then run off and do whatever for 10 hours. So, i guess the money is more important to people than their own child. If the parents have things to do, then fine do it, but don't dump your kid if you can spend any extra time with them!

Answer 8

Yeah, it seems to me that I would want to spend the time with my child, but maybe she has a hard time managing the both kids at the same time. Maybe she is not really a kid person. I see that many adults have kids just to do it, but it seems like a foreign thing for them, like they have not parental instincts. Everyone is different. I mean if they pay for your service then thats all that matters. Maybe you could ask them..."hey don't you want to take advantage of the extra time you have to spend with your kids (plural)?"

Some people don;t enjot being with their kids. Thats sad. Good luck with your philosophical dilemma.

Answer 9

Simply, because she can. Now you may not agree on how she raises her children, but what help are you if you go along with it daily. If you are feeling she is compromising her children than perhaps maybe you should bring this to her attention. Maybe she doesnt realize it. But I think you are taking on more responsibility in this womans life than you should.
Also, if you love the children, do it because of them not for her. Children remember things like that.
Spend that energy singing and coloring and going to the park. There are more important things for you to get pissed off about, DINNER (sorry thats mine).
Good Luck

Answer 10

She will be kicking herself in the A$$ someday when she realizes what a stupid thing she is doing....hopefully. Some people shouldn't be allowed to procreate. Just look at all the stories every year about people forgetting about kids in the car and they come back to find them suffocated from the heat!