Whats the best way to get my wife to stop getting us into debt without her feeling belittled??

Question

she's 21 and use's the money to give our kid's everything they want but I dont want my kids to go with out anything I've already stopped going out to save money and I only get anything new if I really need what else can I do?

Answer 1

Screw the belittled part... tell her how you feel! it might be an awful fight, but you need to get through to her how important being out of debt really is!! You will not get ahead in life by getting behind! be very serious and forceful about it... get across how you are feeling! have her close and cut up the credit cards! spend only what you have!! And save 10% a month!

Answer 2

This might take a little work, but it will be worth it.

First, the two of you should sit down and establish some financial goals, things you both want. (example: a new house, car etc; paying credit cards in full each month; an annual family vacation....whatever is important to you as a family)

Second: set a time period to evaluate exactly how you spend your money 60 -90 days. During this time, use only cash. You can write checks for bills that require checks but not at stores. Absolutely no credit cards or atm cards during this time. Get cash once a week and put it in an envelope for each of you. Every time you spend some, write the amount and discription on the envelope. Save the envelopes to the end, and then compile them on a chart. You both will be surprised.

Third: Agree together on where you will change your spending habits in order to accomplish the goals you started with.

The point of this is making a change to effect a positive result and it can be fun because you make it a sort of game. You are more likely to get her to change by making it a goal instead of you demanding that she stops spending. She is equally invested in the goal so she has a desire to change.

Good Luck!!

Answer 3

Get all the bills and sit down and talk about it. Decide that the only time the kids get some thing is if it is their birthday or Christmas. Kids don't need everything they see and if they throw a fit then spank them. Personally I if you go ahead and try to handle the problem now with her and the kids things will be better in the long run for all of you. When kids see it is something special to get certain things like toys when it is not a holiday they learn to respect what they get and it will be easier for you to say no to them and them not get upset and throw a fit.

Answer 4

Open a different bank account, once is to be used for household expenses only, the other is used for spending money for the kids, or whatever is her weakness. She is only allowed to use what is in that account for those things. Of course, you need to sit down with her go over the bills, let her see the problem and try this approach out. NO Yelling, or name calling during it, remember you're both on the same side.

Answer 5

Sounds like your wife is irresponsible and doesn't respect money or the family's well being.
In order for the two of you to get ahead, you just need to put your foot down and grow a new pair of balls. I don't know if she works but if she doesn't..Give her an allowance. Toss the credit cards and start paying on them off. May need to open a couple of accounts, one account where 70% of the bills are paid from that account (includes groceries), set accounts for that is designated for entertainment, emergencies, education. Once the funds of the entertainment is gone, it's gone. Set down and plan a budget. Plan when you make purchases, to include clothes.

Answer 6

You should do this sneaky maneuver. Sit her down with the kids and say this firmly, "Your mother and I want to talk to you about handling money." Give the whole talk yourself and address the issue in the talk. Then give your wife a chance to speak after everything is off your chest. If she heard you she'll stop throwing away money, and if she didn't maybe the kids heard and they won't ask for much. This is pretty much win win, but if no one hears, start a budget.

Answer 7

Sometimes it's better for people to "get told" by a stranger than by a family member. Get your bank or credit union to help you find a professional financial counselor to take away her credit, put the wife AND the kids on a fixed budget, and so on. That way, you get the structure you need while someone else takes the flack for being "the bad guy" who said all those mean things.

Answer 8

Just talk to her and let her know that you make a certain amount of money and that you don't want to get into debt by buying tons of things - whether for you or for the kids. Show her the budget and make her feel a part of the finances, and work on allotting a monthly budget for clothes and whatever else your family needs.

Answer 9

Sounds like you two need to put yourselves on a budget. Sit down and figure out your finances and make a plan on where the money is going to go. Create accounts for extra items such as for kids stuff fund, emergency fund, college fund, vacations fund, etc...Then put a set amount of money from each paycheck into these funds and only spend out of them for those items. Realize that the funds can just be on paper and don't need to be separate accounts although for some people that is better. By creating funds and only using them for those items you remove impulse buying and you stick to only spending what you have.

Answer 10

you said you have already stopped going out how long ago was this?? Does she have a job?? Is she at home board all day and night with the kids. She might be going and buying things because she is lonely. Get her a member ship to a gym, yes it cost but it will be cheaper in the long run because she has something to fill up her time.