My sister's b/f is ruining her life. They are currently in a long distance relationship, and he doubted her, thinking she was cheating on him. this took a huge poll on my sister. she cut herself and was hospitalized. and he blamed her for his failures. but she cant leave him. i tried everything but she would just end up hurting herlself. i dont know what to do. if this relationship continues, she will eventually end up dead for all i know. any suggestion?
2006-06-29 10:25:59 · 26 answers · asked by Norlitho 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
well ... there is nothing u can do ... she is convinced that she loves this guy ... and nothing can ever change her mind ... cause if she realize how much he's hurting her ... she wud have left him looooooooooooooong back ... the best thing for u do is support her ... be there for her ... and when she's having a fight ... or if she feels like cutting herself ... take her out ... go shopping ... do anything to get her mind off of things ...
2006-06-29 10:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, I have to say that her boyfriend is a pathetic fool. He doesn't deserve her. Use reverse psychology on her. Don't let her sulk on this. Tell her that her self-mutilation is stupid and that she will eventually die because a boy who doesn't deserve anything killed her emotions. Let her know that she was once that sister you loved (even though you still love her) and tell her that you look up to her because she put you down. When she sees that her family loves her that much, she should realize that the boy doesn't deserve it. Family comes first in your case. You love her.
I'm not sure that made sense, but let me try to summarize it. Basically, don't show any feelings of pity. Let her realize that she will be stronger once she lets go. When she wants to talk to you about it, don't suggest anything that would involve her talking to her boyfriend again. Just listen. It will make her feel better.
Hope I could be of some help. Good luck, darling.
2006-06-29 10:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by tingaling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister has some issues with depression. You should try to talk to her. She really needs to know that someone is there for her whenever she needs help. She needs someone to tell her also that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way by any man at all. She can find someone who will treat her so much better and show her the love she needs. Tell her that hurting herself isn't going to make things better for anyone and how much it hurts you when she does that to herself. It might make alot of difference!
2006-06-29 10:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your sister's problems run deeper than just the problems her bf is causing. Emotionally healthy people do not do those things because of someone else. If they find themselves in a bad situation they get out. Your sister needs therapy. As she gets healthier emotionally she will no longer find herself drawn to dysfunctional people. She needs more help than you can give and unfortunately you cannot force her to get it. You can, however, love and support her. Encourage her to get therapy. Leave her bf out of it. Just tell her you think it will help her get through some of these problems. Eventually, if she does get help and get stronger she will see her bf for what he is and won't want the negitivity as part of her life.
2006-06-29 10:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by jonny'sgirl06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say there is nothing you can do to make her change her mind. She has to want to do it herself. I know how you feel. Let her know that if you see more signs of abuse that you will take it upon your self to contact the proper people to help her. Hurting yourself is against the law. are there no parental supports in your life that can help you? Contact your local mental health organization and seek some advice for her and yourself. This can take a toll on you also. Good luck.
2006-06-29 10:34:21 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
However, you can talk to other people that care about her, including older relatives and her close friends. Support from these people, and her self-esteem boost, as well as their encouragement to get her feeling of self-worth from herself, and not her boyfriend, may pull her through this and give her the backbone to dump him. Counselling is a big help, but that's something that's only a help when she wants help. Keep it in mind for when the time comes.
2006-06-29 10:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by b30954 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very rarely does one person ruin another's life. But it sounds like your sister needs therapy. Maybe you could offer to go with her. She needs a lot of love and support. But she'll have to want help. You can't force it down her throat. Love her.
2006-06-29 10:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,i believe that there will come the time when ur sister her self will understand that what is between them isn't love at all!!
And u'll c....she'll change her mind by time...talking to ur sister at the mean time will change nothing at all...some stuff will happen to her,and she'll understand..
don't worry much,but keep an eye on her!!
2006-06-29 10:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Musty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs therapy badly. She is depressed and cannot help herself at this point. There is very little you can do if she is over 18. I'm sorry.
2006-06-29 10:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you half to talk to her and explain that he's not the last one on thins earth. Second, she might do a little better with some professional couseling. Best wishes.
2006-06-29 10:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋