I met this guy not to long ago, we went on our first date Tuesday. Now he thinks we are a couple of something, he keeps calling me babe and stuff, which I don't really mind because I like the guy, my only problem is that he might be getting in the way of my studies for college. Also the fact that I am leaving at the end of September to go away to college. How do I tell him I just want to be friends? I have been avoiding his phones calls all day, I don't want to hurt him, because I do like him, but I am not ready to throw away my future for a guy. Girls please help me!
2006-06-29 10:13:54 · 28 answers · asked by blackroseuk7 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only reason why I am avoiding his calls is because I am a little scared. I haven't had to do this before. I never found anyone I liked and I never had to tell someone about my feelings, so this is all new to me. Thank you all for your answers.
2006-06-29 10:28:06 · update #1
Girl, good for you! Finally a lady with her head on her shoulders and her priorities straight.
You gotta be honest. Avoiding him is not the way to do it. Tell him that you like him but are leaving for college and don't want to get too serious. That you just want to enjoy your summer. You can still hang out, but just not bf/ gf.
He shouldn't be too bummed after one date.
2006-06-29 10:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That depends whether or not he's worth the attempt to compromise.
If he's a great guy, you could make an attempt to try to balance both. It may very well work out in your favor.
If you're THAT worried about your education, explain to him your dilemma. Hopefully, he'll be understanding and wait a while, or at least maintain a friendship. If he's that big of an a** and tells you off, then that's not a guy you want around anyway.
In either case, avoidance is not the answer. This makes him think that he's doing something wrong, and may mess with his feelings or self-esteem. You run the risk of ruining what may be a good relationship or even a decent friendship.
Best of luck to you! ^_^
2006-06-29 10:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Fade Strikemind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your confused.....go out with him/ push him away...being it's the first time you have had even somewhat a relationship;thats where your focus is.Your future is secured with school but have feelings you haven't dealt with before..
First mistake was letting him call you babe....sounded good and at first must have been flattering....will there be a second mistake?....of course...we all make them....just tell him your leaving....no strings attached to the 2 of you...make no promises...and thank him for the friendship shared...
Do not date a guy unless you are ready for his problems....guys have great attributes...handsome and whatnot....but learn what pitfalls the guy has before making any future decisions....don't dump him cause you like him....dump him because he has bad manners....i.e....calling you babe when you really don't know him
2006-06-29 12:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by Jedi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have been dating a guy for over a month and he calls me babe and stuff too. But we aren't going out. Make sure you tell him that he needs to be aware that you are leaving to college. And unfortuntely it's you can't have a serious relationship. My ex asked me out around June years ago, but as soon as college started he moved an 1 hr away. But two months after living on the dorms changed us being together. He called me and had a talk with me. He simply said that he couldn't have a serious relationship right now because of school. which was fine. We weren't in love or anything but liked eachother a lot. We hung out a few times after that and that was that. Break it to him gently.
2006-06-29 10:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's what u do:
u go to college, and u tell him u are getting a new cell phone, and u do. U giv him ur new cell phone's number. Then u call him a couple of times to make sure that he knos u use that phone. After u had several talks with him, go cancel the phone service. He will probably think u still use that phone, so he tries to call u, but it doesn't work! Now u have lost contact with him.
2006-06-29 10:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by tropikal_sour_skittles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you do take his call, let him know whether you had a good time on your date or not, then use that to ease into the fact that you don't want a two-month relationship. Have a good time, maybe sometimes have a good time together, but if he's ready to stay with you forever after only one date, the guy's a bit too desperate to keep around, even as a friend.
You have to let him know you've two speeds this summer: "Slow," or "Off."
2006-06-29 10:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty scary if he is pursuing you that much after one date! I would just maybe tell him you are pretty tied up until you go off to school and that you had a good time but not really interested in a relationship. If he doesn't get the hint, I would seriously tell him there is a law against stalking!!! Don't avoid him as that is the coward way out, be honest, then if he cannot handle it you need to figure out how to get your message across to him.
2006-06-29 10:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy, but I hope this is helpful.
First step. Tell him that you are flattered, honored that he's attracted to you, but you are going off to college, and have to focus on that. He deserves a girl who can spend time with him, not someone who is away.
He will probably persist. Then...
Second step: You seem to want to have me as a girlfriend even though I'm not ready or able to have a relationship right now. That's really strange, and makes me worried about you.
The problem is that if he is not listening to you, that's a problem, even if he seems like a nice guy.
2006-06-29 10:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Polymath 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, whilst a first-rate man comes alongside, provide him a hazard, there can be many men to return out and in of your existence. I am definite you just like the awareness and the truth that he's cautously getting into this indicates that he's shy. It frequently took plenty for him to invite you that. Why do not you simply provide him one date, in case your nonetheless no longer into him, inform him and quite attempt to simply be his peers. But it kinda sounds to me such as you already burned the bridge by means of performing a bit of impolite to him. Good good fortune, Keep in brain that you will not ever realize a well man from a nasty one when you certainly not date any well ones.
2016-08-30 06:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him ur not ready to throw away ur future for a guy. well ask urself this dear, can it be a long distant relationship? if not then tell him u are getting ready for college and u can't afford any major distractions so can u just be friends for now
2006-06-29 10:17:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋