my son left home to live with his dad my current partner does not understand why i feel a bit emotional?

Question

my son just left home at 16 he has got a job with his dad and has moved in with him i have brought my son up on own since he was five after me and his dad seperated and we have been good mates i miss him like mad my partner does not understand and says im odd and should enjoy my freedom but i feel a bit down a am i being a overbearing mum

Answer 1

No, you are not being overbearing. Your partner is insensitive. Your son is 16 year old and is still very impressionable. Part of it may be that you feel that there is still so much training and knowledge you can impart to him and you need more time. It his hard enough when they are grown up and moving out.

You can't help what you feel. You are a good mother and it is normal to feel the way you do. Stay in touch with your son and continue to be his mom as much as you can.

I'm proud of you.

Answer 2

Your partner fails to realize that the reason you had your son was because you wanted him and you gave up alot of freedom a long time ago. When caring and loving people have children, they are never completely free no matter how old their child is. For your partner to say differently shows their lack of understanding about this. Perhaps your partner needs to be reminded partners come and go but your child is forever and age has nothing to do with it and that's just the way it is period.

Answer 3

For a child to leave home is always harder on the mother than the father....and I am guessing that your partner either has no kids or didnt raise them in the same house......I have three kids...2 of them are out of the house now...and my baby is a senior in high school...and I have no idea what I will do with myself when he leaves....I am married...not to his father...but we have a good home and my son loves his step father very much..they are close..his real dad lives about 4 hours away and they dont see each other as much as I would like...but they have a good relationship too. You are not odd at all....raising a child on your own..even if the other parent is active in the childs life...is hard..and emotional.....you become both mother and father....doing things the other one should be doing....your the one there when they get sick..or have a ball game...orget scared from a storm.....and when that part of your life comes to an end..its a hard pill to swallow.....You will come to terms in time..and you will accept things as they are...but not any time soon...your greaving...it takes time...tell your partner to be patient.....

Answer 4

No, you are not! In fact, I think you're a great mum for caring that much. I've run away from home once or twice before in my wilder days and my mum did the exact same thing.

But it does sound like your current partner doesn't really care much about your son at all and maybe that's what's wrong with him living with you. But at least he's not out on the streets begging for spare change; you said that he's got a job and lives with his dad now. I'm assuming that the father will take care of him so you really don't have anything to worry about at all. So to me, it sounds like this is better for his sake, so cheer up!

Answer 5

no, you are not being odd. You should enjoy your freedom but maybe you just need to know that its okay to enjoy your new found freedom. That doesnt make you a bad mom. But your partner should understand what you're going through. Maybe they're not a parent? I don't know. But I'm not a parent either and I understand. They should show a little more compassion. But you should try harder to get out and have some fun now. Its okay to miss him, but don't let the depression win.

Answer 6

Oh how sad. You miss your baby. If he's not too far away maybe you can get together weekly. Your partner is being a little insensitive. I cannot imagine how heartbroken you must feel. I'm sorry your little bird left the nest so early. Once he's settled in and doing fine, you'll start to feel better. Who knows, he may not get along well with his dad after being together so much and he'll be back. Good luck.

Answer 7

No you are not being an overbearing mum. I would be devestated if my children left me to live with their father under any circumstance.
I think your partner is being insensitive and he needs to understand where you are coming from.
I hope he has not gone too far away and you can see him.
You should be proud of him and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Good luck

Answer 8

You are not being overbearing, there is a bond between a mother and her children that noone can interfere with. My son is18 and just left for the summer he'll be home in 5 weeks and when it hit me that I wouldn't get to see him when I wanted to I broke. My husband couldn't understand it either. But I know what you mean. Just try to think of it like this, He is doing what makes him happy right now and his happiness is what matters. Just take a deep breath and try to be strong...I know it's hard, but, it'll be ok.

Answer 9

Absolutely not! Any caring, responsible, and understanding mom is going to miss her child, especially if she's raised him on her own for a while. I mean, as far as biological connections are concerned, it's been you and HIM. Like two peas in a pod.
I think maybe your current "partner" is just trying to enjoy the freedom of having you all to themselves and is a little uneasy, because your emotional discomfort is putting a damper on their ability to do that.

Answer 10

your partner should feel some sympathy or empathy for you. you are a mother and its in your instincts to feel strong emotions when your young one leaves or anyone in your family circle for that matter. if your partner has kids turn the question back on him with his own kids. even though your son is somewhat grown up, he is still your kid. he will always be close to your heart. however distance makes the heart grow fonder as they say. it's difficult. dont be at all hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. your partner should not downgrade your emotions. Rather he should support you in this time. Make him understand how you feel. Talk it over more.