Build Boyfriend's Confidence?

Question

My b/f and i have been together for just over six months and we are deeply in love. the only problem is that he always has a negative attitude and i believe that the reason for this is a lack in self-confidence. he has explained to me several times that he was always told that he was never good enough for his parent's standards. this i think is partialy the reason that he has a lack in self-esteem. i am very much one w/ high self-confidence, i believe in myself; he does not believe in himself in the least bit. it can be frusterating and truly sad for me to listen to him say that he cannot do anything, and when i try to tell him and convince him that he can, but he doesnt believe me. i am very much in love with him, but i really want his negative attitude to disappear and for his self-confidence to rise. does anyone have any suggestions on how to do this?

Answer 1

This is a long process but a worthy one. My husband was simillar but not to that degree. You can build him up by telling him how attractive he is a lot, and how great he is at things as much as you can. There is no compliment too small for those in your man's shoes. Now, when he gets down on himself you need to look him in the eye and tell him that he can do whatever he wants. Then just tell him that you believe in him and always will. Tell him his parents didn't know what they were talking about because you see a strong, independent and capable man. A man to be admired and followed.

Answer 2

I'm going through the same thing. Except I haven't been dating my boyfriend too long, he has a really good personality but his lack of self esteem is something that I feel is keeping me from possibly loving him. I wish I had an answer for you or some suggestions but I don't even know how to solve my own problem. Hopefully someone can give you the answer we're both looking for. Good luck!

Answer 3

You're a sweet person to want to help him. I personally get annoyed when people act like Eeyore (you know, the donkey thing from Winnie the Pooh) and are always down about everything, but that's me. Now, onto you helping him: can you get him to make an appointment with a therapist of some kind? It will help him tremendously to unburden himself to a trained professional, someone who can help him get to the bottom of what's causing all these negative feelings. Try to get him to do that. If he refuses, there is really little you can do to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. You can always try to interest him once again in activities he once found meaningful, or did he never have any of those? Only you know the answer to that one. If he does have these kind of things in his life, get him to embrace them again. Say he paints or something and hasn't done it in a while. Encourage him to do it again and compliment him on his work. That's just one example of many possible ones, but you can see where I'm going with this. Your best bet is to get him to someone who is trained to help the woe-is-me people of this world so that he can finally open his eyes and see what a wonderful life he has and that he has a wonderful woman standing right by his side. Good luck.

Answer 4

My boy and I have been dating for 6 years. He grew up in a verbally abusive home and is very convinced that he is incapable of making it on his own b/c of low self confidence. I strive to constantly encourage him and tell him he is doing good in things I have authority on. For example, I can't tell him he is a great employee... I don't work with him. But I can tell him that he makes me happy and that I enjoy his company and he treats me well and is a hottie and etc. Constantly encourage him. Help him by breaking down the steps to do the things he wants and help walk him through it step by step. Once he does a few things successfully, he will be a lot more confident about making his own decisions in the future. Good luck!

Answer 5

i circulate contained in direction of a similar element. different than i've got no longer been relationship my boyfriend too long, he has an extremely reliable character yet his loss of self-nicely worth is something that i think is preserving me from probable loving him. I desire I had an answer for you or some suggestions yet i do no longer even understand a thank you to remedy my very own project. with a bit of luck somebody could provide you the respond we are the two searching for. reliable luck!

Answer 6

My question to you is how do u just have high confidence. I'm personally like ur boyfriend, and u are more like my boyfriend. He gets frustrated because I don't have higher confidence. Just be there and support him and show him that he is good enough for you. No matter what.

Answer 7

Support him and make a big deal out of the little positive things that he does and says as if he were a child lol. Maybe even have some other people who also care about him, cooperate.

Answer 8

Yes, take him to see a hypnotherapist, to change his mind about the way he thinks of himself. This does not happen over nite. So be ready to help him make the changes, it takes 30 days or more to break a habit, this is considered a programing habit. A way of thinking.

Answer 9

Low self esteem is a symptom of depression. Have him evaluated by a mental health professional.

Answer 10

well tell him to prove his parents wrong, showing others wat u accomplished will make everyone think twice about you and he will feel good about it plus its a great way to become daring and determined and confidence and self-esteem will sky rocket, of coarse it takes time but with your support you can show him that he can do somethin and that hes good enough for your standards