i am a very nice person, and after so long, my friends use me and then dump me...sometimes for kicks..sometimes becuase i no longer offer the thing they want...sometimes, they never say.... it's the same online and in real life....i'm seriously considering just not having any friends from now on. If people do nothing but turon on me, then i'd rather be alone and lonely for life instead of having traitors as friends. people usually come to me only when they want or need something, anyway...i have no friends right now, and i'm just too upset at this point to try to make friends again...i question whether it's even worth the rsik or not. (I do have autism/Aspergers' Syndrome, and that makes it all the more difficult for me to determine if people are using me or legitimately being a friend.). Am i also unreasonable to only want a friend that is unable/incapable to turn on me or hurt me?
2006-06-29 09:28:41 · 19 answers · asked by johncoonfox 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I hear you, I know how difficult it is to make and keep friends when you have Aspergers spectrum disorder. No amount of to-dos and not to-do's, will help a person who is so disconnected . In my opinion an Asperger affected person lives in world of disconnected islands. A friendship requires connections, promptness ,empathy and something that relates two or more persons.
First accept your Handicap and try to live in a scale down sphere of social life.
Second find a pass time or hobby in which you are good at . Stick to it, You will make some friends.
2006-06-29 10:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by aray 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not unreasonable to want a friend who is unable or incapable to turn on you. Thing is though a person can always turn on you. It not impossible for that to happen and I've had experience there with my best friend from elementary school betrayed me. Thing is though i didn't dwell on it. You just got to smile and laugh it off. I'm one of the nicest people in school and even if a friend will dump you it's their own fault for losing you. Just keep moving on and be careful what you tell them! Best of luck!
~Mel
2006-06-29 09:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by Melody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is extremely difficult to make true friends with someone you did not grow up with. Nice people get used by impostures pretending to be your friend. Study some good jokes and develop a funny attitude but not to goofy or they might think your a dork. Telling truly funny jokes and being a fun person may bring you better friends. You have to be nice but at the same time know how to stick your foot up theirs if they screw you!
2006-06-29 09:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by Spencer B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and son also have Asberger's and they have some friends they can count on, but it is more difficult to make new ones.
We all need friends. Most people, though, have just a few friends, and many acquaintences.
Look for people with good character, go where people with good character go. Watch what people do..do they gossip about other people? Then they'll eventually gossip about you. Do they steal (from work, their parents, the government), then they'll steal from you.
There's an old saying...Thoughts lead to words lead to actions lead to habits lead to character lead to destiny. Look at people's words and actions and you'll see what their character is going to be like.
2006-06-29 10:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your "friends" are just in it for what they can get. Don't let your self get used because you will do what it takes to keep them as friends. Have some respect for yourself and fu*k the people who fu*k you over. I think I'm in the same situation. Trust those who you can t trust and throw the rest away. You are worth being a friend to/with. Don't settle for some scumbags that just use and abuse you. That's not fair to you. Kick em in the *** and toss them out the door.
2006-06-29 09:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by ibiteaol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too nice. You must have a balance of mercy and strength to equate to balance. Live for yourself. Ask yourself, "What kind of world do I want to live in?" and then work to make it that way. Remember, you are your own justification for existing. My favorite philosophical axiom is: "I swear, by my life and by my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor will I allow another to live for me." It's your life, screw those losers. Learn to be a better judge of character. Friendship should be based on coming together for mutual benefit. Toughen up and learn the difference between your friends just busting your balls and real shystiness, sometimes it's just tough love.
2006-06-29 09:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by motiongraphics81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know why you can not make friends. Are you trying to hard? because i have a friend who trys to fit in so much it turns people away but you seem like a nice boy if you need a friend e-mail me nqt0705@yahoo.com
2006-06-29 10:21:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just figure out what afriend means to u.frienship means giving unconditionally.
just see a flower gives aroma and does not wait for u to say thankyou.
just so do what u like and every one is a friend.and when some one comes and does u a good one just be gartefull
beleive me this way ull end being happy always
2006-06-29 09:59:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem w/ making and keeping friends. I'm not a good source of advice right now, but I can listen if you want to IM me.
2006-06-29 09:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you could have Asperger's. Look for a specialist in your area and talk to them. If you want to talk to someone, I will talk to you. I have no interest in hurting anyone or using anyone, see my 360 to understand more. Take care.
2006-06-29 09:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by thewildeman2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋