im 15, my mom died when i was 12 and my dad has been raising me since. he's never home. he's always away on his job. one day he came home from one of his little business trips and brought home a fiance. I dont know what to do. And a year ago i found out that i have an older brother which means my dad cheated on my mom. his fiance has to kids that all of the sudden has moved in with us. He rather spend time with them than with me. I dont like my life some times i feel like it would be better to go stay with my uncle and aunt in englad. i dont know what to do. should i confront him or just leave???
2006-06-29 09:15:15 · 14 answers · asked by i love NOLA! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Confront him, don't just leave. It's hard for him being a single parent, however to just come home with a fiance' that you apparently never met before isn't right. Most certainly speak with him and let him know how you feel. Good luck
2006-06-29 09:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, a parent pulls away from a child when the other parent dies because it hurts too much to be reminded. It doesn't make it right, but he is human. Try talking to him about how to make your relationship stronger, instead of focusing on the things you can't do anything about (his fiance, her kids, or your brother). Tell him you don't want to lose your mom and your dad, and that is what is happening.
If that doesn't work, talk to your aunt and uncle about your situation and see what they would advise. Spend some time with your aunt and uncle over the summer and feel it out... Sometimes the grass really does seem greener...
I am so sorry for all the frustration and sadness you are feeling... Stay strong and you will get through this in time...
2006-06-29 09:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by juniemoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my mother when I was young just like you. My father is a prominent doctor and lawyer (yes, both!) and it was always hard getting a moment of his time. I know this might seem overwhelming right now, but you've got to try to talk to Dad about it one more time. Let him know you need to talk to him, just the 2 of you and tell him how you feel without blaming or being accusatory. What do you want? What would make you feel better? Is it more time with Dad, just the 2 of you, and more time integrated as this new family unit? Whatever your needs are, you must communicate them with your father immediately. If nothing improves, try talking to your aunt and uncle or perhaps other relatives that you trust that might be closer by. They can help you get your dad's attention in a positive way. Don't act out...it will only make it worse. Believe me, been there, done that. Good luck to you.
2006-06-29 09:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
England could be an adventure but I would be at peace with your dad before you left. Your dad feels guilty about things not being perfect with your mom, I'm sure he feels guilty about all the other junk he has put you through. Guys at his stage of life run when they feel guilty, thus all the business trips. Let him know you love him even if he is a .......fill in this blank........ sometimes. I bet if you help him feel more comfortable then he will want to spend extra time with you. I know it's hard at 15 but sometimes the kid has got to teach the grown up.
2006-06-29 09:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by Laura B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel bad about your situation, I really do...do you have relatives, try to talk to them...running away will not help since you will have to pretty much live out on your own and I am not sure if you will be able to do that. Wait until you finish school (i assume you are in school)...Be strong...focus on studies (althouh I can imagine it is harder to do)...get into a four year school...once you get admitted you'll appreciate what an educational institution can do for you...you'll make new friends...you will have alot of things to do in college...don't run away...because it will hurt you...Psychologically it is very tough situation for you...I really feel bad...but my suggestion is another 2 years and you will be out of high school and then college...try to get involve in activities like volunteer work or something to occupy your brain...it will help...there is plenty to do...find yahoo group that interests you...don't run away...
There is saying that goes something like...
"if that time did not last then this won't either"
Be strong, and stick to a plan...Talk to your father but leave your father's matters to him...focus on your future...and plan somethin beautiful...running away is not a solution...can opt...
I know I am not in your shoes but that is what I would do if I were you!!
2006-06-29 09:25:59 · answer #5 · answered by Dil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you confronted your father and tell him how you feel? Sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side. Have you sat down to talk to your dad, maybe he's hurting on the inside and uses external objects, fiance, fiance's kids to not focus on the pain of your mother's death. You say you have an older sibling, is it possible that your father feels guilty about the circumstance, each time he sees you, you remind him of your mother, which alternately reminds him of the guilt.
2006-06-29 09:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by jester4us 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your father about how you feel. He probably pays extra attention to her kids because he's trying to get to know them and doesn't realize how it makes you feel. Hopefully he will understand and give you the support you need.
If he won't, maybe ask if you could go "visit" your aunt and uncle for awhile. You'll need permission and a passport to go though.
I wish I knew what else to suggest. Hope this helped you even a little.
2006-06-29 09:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by TeeDawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please whayever you do dont hurt yourself or don't runaway because I had made that mistake and ended up in a psycho mental home.But this is what you do Just take your dad and ask for some alone time to atlk and tell him how you feel and if he understands try to make things work out and if they dont tell him you need to be somewhere where you can be happy.Just don't runaway or hurt yourself think of the people your hurting and the people that loves you that your hurting and think of your mom.Please be careful.
2006-06-29 09:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by Hotmom1216 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your age you can't just leave.
I don't mean you have to stay there, but you can't just leave.
My suggestion would be to talk to your Uncle and Aunt, somewhere where you can do it privately, and see if they are willing to have you stay with them.
Then approach your father on the issue.
You need to do some planning my lady. Just running away is not going to get you where you want to be.
-Dio
2006-06-29 09:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by diogenese19348 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should confront your dad. i'm the same age as you and one day my dad brought this woman to meet me and my sister and the next thing i knew her and her younger daughter were moving in with us . i felt that he would rather spend time with her and her daughter also but later i talked to him about it and he told me that he would always loved me and wanted the best for me . maybe your dad feels that you need somebody else around maybe to move on with his life or something
2006-06-29 09:29:29 · answer #10 · answered by m_odomgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋