She was always such a good listener. Now just getting her to clean her room without a battle of fairness is a challenge. I tell her that even though she is older that the rules of the house have not changed. She is a good kid but, what is with the battles over everything?
2006-06-29 08:26:19 · 30 answers · asked by JenUs 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
AHHHHH!!!!!!!! I know what you are talking about, did you by chance kidnap my child? I swear we are talking about the same child! I was at my wits ends with my daughter, everything is a freaking battle. I tell my daughter that she has control over certain things (what to wear; what to watch on TV such as Raven or Blue Clue's; what toys to play with; what friends to have over; how to spend allowance) but there are certain things will not budge on (like laws of any land) and I told her what those things are. We sat down together and talked and wrote things down about what things she has control over and what things we as her parents have control over. Letting her know upfront has ended many battles, but there are still a few. Also we pick our battles, I mean who really cares if she goes to the store in plastic dress up shoes and a wig and feathered boa? If it isn't going to change who she will be in 20 years, we dont bother. And always remember for every action there is a reaction. If my daughter spends all her allowance on something she really wants (but doesn't need) such as a cd or dvd or something and then doesn't have any money when her friends invite her to the video arcade, then that is her problem.
2006-07-05 19:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am willing to bet she just started school! If so, her little world has just been rocked! I am teacher, and this is really quite normal of this age group. Discuss things firmly with your child (not a "tell me how you are feeling" discussion, but a firm these are the rules do you need me to explain them again, discussion.) Your child may be having a wonderful school experience, but may still be bringing home stress that she doesn't know how to handle yet. This stress may simple be from the change in routine, the need to behave and follow a teacher's directions all day, or managing multiple friendships as opposed to just those with her parents/siblings.
Sometimes giving a child a choice is enough to give them the "power" they need to feel secure. Say something like "Today you need to clean your room and clean the playroom, which would you like to do first?" This way you are still the parent, telling her what she is responsible for, but she has some control in what she would like to do first. You may also want to motivate her by picking something at the begining of the day to work for. I am a strong advocate of staying away from food as a reinforcer, but something like and extra 15 minutes of tv, story time with mom or a new color book, may do the trick!
Try this!
2006-07-05 15:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by Sara K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she needs a good smack in the head...
I know what you mean though. I babysit a 5 and a 7 year old and even if you punish them as soon as you leave their sight they start doing the same thing they just got punished for. So I usually either make them take a nap when they act up or make them sit in the tv room and stare at the tv with it turned off for a long time. They act better after that...
2006-06-29 08:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is the same age and does the same thing!!! But now everyone tells her that she looks like Dakota Fanning from the movie World of the Wars with Tom Cruise she thinks that she needs a maid or I should do it. My daughter has learned that if she doesn't do what I say then she doesn't get what she wants. She is very active in everything from sports or pageants. But I think she acts like me when I was 16 yrs old. Maybe when they get over their attitudes will change. Hopefully!!
2006-07-02 05:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by danihorn1002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 year olds seem to understand the concept of consequences. when my 6 year old gets mouthy or non-responsive (he gives me a blank stare when i ask him to do something), i remind him that i expect him to listen the first time. when he proceeds to be unruly, i quietly remove a toy from his room. i try to pick something that correlates to the moment. "you have lost your radio privileges."
then he can clean up his attitude to get the privilege back.
consistency, consistency, consistency!! also, consistency in praise. the one time in the day when she DOES listen, praise her!! even get on the phone and tell your friend about how she listened or cooperated.
as for the battles--
our 6 year old planned to move out of the house today. he biked down the road and came back with a real estate flyer, saying that he was going to move into the house for sale. ahhh. he also swiped the money from the Life game... we have to laugh at the battles, because our children are still so vulnerable, naive and innocent. laugh a lot--it will help you keep your cool!!
2006-06-29 09:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by gertieok 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to having a six year old! My daughter was the same way and I found out through friends that six seems to be a typical time for this to happen. She is just exerting and experimenting with her independence.
The best policy I have found is to be firm and CONSISTENT with your reactions and rules. Also, don't make a big deal about her questioning you....she might have a valid point.
My daughter is 9 now and still occassionally mouths off. However, overall she is very polite and respectful...people tell us all the time. But, she still has her independence.
2006-06-29 08:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has for sure tested you out before...she well knows what she can get away with and when you will say "no, ok" or change your no to a yes or vice-versa.
She needs to challenge your authority, she wants to negotiate and see how far she can go with you. you are the mother, you set up the rules and you make sure she understands them. Then, stick to it, BE CONSISTENT and dont give up . .. thats the most important thing! Its possible that at school or at other people's house she sees that children her age seem to have more say on things...she might just be trying it out .. challenging, testing what she can do with her "freedom".
2006-06-29 08:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by Life is Wonderful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, explain that life isn't fair. And then restate whatever you have said and give her a choice: do it or get a consequence. And the consequence needs to be significant: take away the favorite toy, tv time, or outside/friend time. My son (who's 6) knows that a bad attitude will land him on the sofa next to me with no tv, no talking or playing, while I take the time to read a book. He hates it and generally does what he has to to avoid it. don' argue, just lay down the law.
2006-06-29 12:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by letmesurpriseu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, STOP BEING YOUR CHILD'S FRIEND AND BECOME HER PARENT!!!! Children need a parent before they will ever need a friend. How do you think she got to be 6 years old? Certainly not by having friends, but a parent to take care of her and God to look over her. Exercise your right as a parent and take charge of your child's behavior. If you don't now, then you will regret it when she gets older. It's not so cute when she gets older. Trust me you'll thank me for this advice. It's what many moms are going through today, and that's disobedient children; and they're wishing now that they should of stopped it before their children got older and out of control!!
2006-06-29 10:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by just1naomi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of getting older is retesting the boundaries. Time out and withdrawal of toys still works as punishment at this age. If she is losing her respect for you and getting mouthy now and you don't deal with it, it will only be harder to do when she is older
2006-06-29 23:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋