am I too high maintenance??

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3-4 months. However I feel sometimes very anxious/ unsatisfied when we are not together. We use to meet every other to every 3 days but now because of our work we only meet once a week. I like him a lot but sometimes I get annoyed with him. He rarely makes the plans of what we are going to do when we meet once a week and I am the one who usually picks the dates. He says he does that cause he doesn’t want to do something I don’t want to do. But sometimes I just wonder if he doesn’t care or is lazy. Also I have never meet his friends, gone to parties he was invited to with him or anything (except when he randomly saw a friend and then we ate lunch with him). I feel slightly left out. I always invite him to go to parties with me and include him when my friends get together to hang out. I know he does weed and he knows I don’t approve of it or take part in it… but I don’t actually scold anyone… just a personal preference.

Because I don’t meet any of his friends I sometimes wonder if he is hiding other things from me. But then again sometimes I have a hard time trusting people. He doesn’t have a lot to talk about or doesn’t talk a lot to me… though that was nice at first now it is becoming annoying. We do talk on msn quite a bit but I think msn is very impersonal and wishes he would call sometimes. Two weeks ago I suggested that he should call time to time but he still hasn’t. He just says he doesn’t like talking on the phone. I feel like I don’t really know who he really is or that he isn’t really open to me. All we seem to do is the same things…. Hang out for a bit and then make out. Am I just becoming boring? Am I just a too high maintenance girlfriend or do I have a valid point to feel a little restless? How can I get him to open up? He is my first bf and I don’t know much about this stuff. What things can I do to spice our relationship up (but not in a sexual way).

Answer 1

First of all, I learned a long time ago that guys are not good with making plans. Some are, but most are lost. This is something you should learn to embrace and be satisfied with. And leaving the plans up to you lets you decide what to do and where to go. There is nothing better than being the driver in this seat. I hope you realize this.
As for being around his friends, well that's another story. I think you should consider giving him his walking papers. If he's not inviting you to the parties he's going to or showing you off to his friends, he could be hiding you. He's young and sounds like he's the type of guy who's always on the prowl for better. It's easier for him to show up solo at a party so he can score with new girls. I have seen this happen to countless girls. And I have even called out many guys for doing this. But know that the more mature guys get, the less chance they will pull this stunt on you.
It's time to take control of your life before you regret wasting it on someone who's so apathetic. Take back your power girl and show him you can and will do better. I know this is hard to do, but trust me, you don't want to end up with a guy who is settling for you, do you?
By the way, smoking weed is not a bad things, as long as he's not a crackhead. Just lay off of the weed nagging. Been there and realised how uncool the nagging is and how relaxed the weed makes you feel. And he could be so apathetic because he's a smoker.

Answer 2

You're not high maintenance. But he's incredibly low maintenance and to him you seem higher maintenance than he is.

After 3 or 4 months of dating, both girlfriends and boyfriends usually start introducing you to people in their lives. They want you to be part of their lives and his a part of yours. As for planning dates, he's taking the lazy way out. My boyfriend would do it because he's not very good at planning and always defer to me because I know what I like! But I always appreciate it when he does try to plan something. Your boyfriend should have picked up a few ideas of what your likes and dislikes are by now and be able to plan something.
I think you need to tread carefully with him. It sounds like he's slacking in meeting your needs. So you need to do the same. That way you're not over giving, planning dates, and become his door mat. The next time you have time to spend with each other ask him what he has planned. If he doesn't have anything, then tell him that you may be busy out w/ your girlfriends! Wouldn't it be more fun to hang out with them than be w/ him with nothing to do?

Answer 3

Okay - first, you're not high maintenance.

It sounds like he's hiding the weed from you, and that may very well be all, but he may also be hiding something ELSE - but maybe NOT.

In any case, it sounds like maybe he's not much of a conversationalist, and online he can take more time to respond and think about his answer...or erase it.

As for activities, it sounds like he's just a little inexperienced or something.

I say stick it out for now. Tell him you want to hear his VOICE but don't push TOO hard. Tell him you want him to suprise you with an activity next week - in short, MAKE IT WORK.

Answer 4

No, you are not. He just isn't given you what you need. You need more attention and there is nothing wrong with that. You need to find a guy who has more in common with you. Perhaps someone who will want to see you as much as you do him, talk more, hang out with friends together. Doesn't sound like he wants to be your boyfriend.

Answer 5

He is acting suspicious if he is not showing you his friends. that usually is not a good sign. and if he's smoking weed, you should be VERY Careful. what if he gets caught when you are around? Then you are SOL. is dangerous. If He's not givign you what YOU need, then drop him hon. there is sooo many man outthere. I am sure there's one that will give you more time, and not do drugs!best of luck, and remember you deserve better!

Answer 6

I do not know how you are as a person, but from your description, the answer is no.

Answer 7

yes ---