Helpp people i need some advice!!!!!?

Question

OK well i totally hate my step-dad hes soo mean and he came into my life wen i was 6 years old. Now i found out he has cheated on my mom with more than at least 10 women (im 15 now) and he goes to NYC sometimes to do hell who knows he never tells us but i have one lil sister and one lil brother (those are his children which makes them my step bros) and well now i found out he has been cheating on my mom with some nasty ewwww lady in NYC and last time wen i was in the mall with my friends i saw him with another women and it was just crazy i mean even my little brother was with him (hes 6) and he told me what hetold that women.. that he will buy her anything and make her happy and you kno the same usual crap.. but then my brother is too scared to tell my mom and i told my mom and my mom knows that he has cheated on her more than once but i dont kno why my mom does not leave him.. its freking gay because i hate him sooo much. Please people help me and give me advise!!! what can i do?

And also i tell my mom all the time to leave him but she dosent.. i dont kno why she dosent leave him.. WHAT can i do to make this better??? help pleasee

another thing is that i kno for sure he has had sexual relationships with other women and he can get a STD and he can infect my mom with that.. its just all messed up

Nooo I KNOW i he will hit me or something i mean up to this day he hasent and he has told me if i interfer he will do something... sicne im way taller than him and alot stronger i can actually defend myself but its just gay because hes a bad person and i tried talking to him and he just told me to Shut the F*** up and that its not mu business... ugh i hate him

Yes i suppose you are right... my mom may still be with him to support me and my siblings.. she may want the best for us.. and need him because he does make good money and yes maybe for college.. thank you

Answer 1

Since you've got some great answers, I'm going to go in a different direction, OK. Have you considered what'll happen to your step siblings if you're mom leaves this loser of a husband? Your mom is the best thing in their little lives, and you are probably a good brother, so they would lose both of you and still be stuck with their dad. Or maybe you meant half-bro and -sis, not step, if they are your mom's kids - no, I doubt that.
~~~
Sometimes life deals you a terrible set of cards, and you have to play them out as best you know how. Your mom is not enjoying this hand, but someday she may be lucky enough to switch to a different game and get a wonderful set of cards. Until then your cards are teamed up with hers, so try to be a good son, don't hesitate to talk things over with her, listen to her side, don't expect her to always agree with you, and ask her if she could take you to a counselor or family therapist to help you (and her too, if she wants) figure out how best to play these awful cards.
Best of luck!

Answer 2

Well if you step dad has any children with any of the women that he cheats with he must pay child support if the mother takes care of the child. I'm just pointing that out in case that's an issue at all with any of the women.

But tell your mother exactly what happened, like the fact that he's too secretive and doesn't share anything with you about what he does. Eventually he'll realize that what he's doing is a bad thing and he'll eventually be corrected somehow. But as for how that happens I don't know, you'll just have to wait and see.

But just avoid him for now. That's the best thing you can do at this point. If he doesn't want to be with you then you shouldn't want to be with him. And if your own father (sorry if he's passed away, I'm just thinking of your options here) can take you in then get him to because the situation isn't looking good for both your step dad and your mother. If the situation escalates you can always contant DCF (Department of Children and Families) and they'll sort things out. If your step dad becomes suddenly abusive then contact police immediately because there's no telling what he could do.

Answer 3

Well, first of all what he does is stupid and inconsiderate, not "gay" just to be politically correct. Second, you will learn in psychology later on that your mother has what's known as learned helplessness. Chances are, she has probably grown up seeing her mother doing nothing against her father if he was abusive or neglectful, which is not unheard of for that era. If your mother acknowledge that the man is cheating on her and does nothing, she may not be prepared to let go of the relationship. What you can do is talk to a reliable biological adult family member(s) who may be able to help. You may even want to talk to a school conselor about it confidentially, though they may get involve in your family life, and that could be messy. Furthermore, if you are in possession of a camera the next time you see him with another women, take a picture. If your mother refuse to look at the pictures or still does nothing, then there's not much you can do. In the mean time, you might want to strengthen your relatioship with your biological siblings and start mentoring them. Prepare them mentally and emotionally, and all of you can save your allowances for anything that might come up. Whatever you do, don't be too distant from your stepdad, but you don't have to be friendly either; just be there as a stepson. You don't want to put your mother in a position where she has to choose because she may not be ready to make a choice yet. This issue is quite confusing, and I did my best. My advice is not a professional advice, but different options that I might do. I hope that it helped. Good luck.

Answer 4

Tell your little brother and sister to not be around him when he's with other women. If your mom knows and she's not doing anything, that's her problem. You shouldn't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine. Avoid him, or let him know this bothers you if you're daring enough to say anything to him. Your mom knows, now let her handle the problem. If it would make you feel better, you should talk to her about it, and maybe discuss your options. In the end though, it's all up to her. If she cares about this man enough, it's likely that she'll stay with him, so be prepared, and it's okay, you'll be leaving the house soon anyways (although that won't help your younger siblings much). Make sure that you are there for your little brother and sister, this could be bothering them as much as it bothers you, so talk to them about it.

Answer 5

This is a really tough situation . Look at it from your moms point of view she has kids to support and take care of and she must have loved your step-dad at some point . What he is doing is totally wrong ... Your mom has a very tough decision to make . You just need to be there for her and encourage here to make the best decision and support her . Have you talked to your step-dad does he know that you know ... Just hang in there . Your mom needs you , she has a hard road ahead .

Answer 6

If your mother is aware of the situation, there isn't anything you personally can do about it from her end. If he's not a violent person and you don't think he'd hurt you, I'd walk up to him when I see him in public and say "Hi Dad-is this your new secretary?" or something like that. But only if you know you would be safe. If not, don't do that! Make a promise to yourself right now that if anyone treats you like that you will not put up with that behavior. Also, you don't know the whole situation with your mom-so don't judge her, continue to love her and treat her with respect.

Answer 7

I am sorry for your situation....your mother has no right to be treated this way,and a lot of people do this. She might just be blinded by love like a lot of people in the world. I had a cousin that did the same thing. Her b\f cheated on her and she still stayed with him. I couldn't stand him and I couldn't look at her without thinking ARE YOU AN IDIOT? I just couldn't stand it!!! But the best thing to do in this situation is to Ask GOD and he will lead you in the right path and tell you what to do. I hope you get through with this and trust me...a lot of people are praying for you. Have a great day!!! And God Bless you.

Answer 8

Maybe your mom thinks that she will not be able to find someone that will give her the respect that she needs. You need to tell your mom how much you love her and how uncool it is for her to be staying with someone that would do something like that. Because when you marry someone it is forever and you just dont step out when ever you feel like it and also it's not being a good role model you need to have someone show you that things like that are not excepted

Answer 9

Maybe you could sit her down to a calm, quiet conversation and ask her to look at things in a different light. Ask her if she's ok with setting the example to her small children that this is an exceptable standard in a relationship, or if she thinks they deserve to see a more positive ideal. That's how I look at the way I conduct things in my life....I consider whether or not I would want my children to settle for the way they see me do things, or if I think they deserve to have better. You should never allow yourself to "settle" for anything, and you certainly shouldn't give your children the impression that this is acceptable either. Good luck with all that.

Answer 10

Many, many ladies know that their hubby is messing around on them, but they're secure in their situation and don't want to start all over again. It's a pain big time. One thing, if your mom decides to nail him and has the money, is to hire a private investigator to take pics, following him to places.....ect. Then when she's got all the evidence she needs, she needs to hire a lawyer who specializes in divorce and take this guy to the bank. Of course, this will only happen if your mom would want to ever act on his unfaithfulness. Hopefully she'll never get a disease, and hopefully he'll never abuse you...if he does......don't hesitate to involve the police. I wish you the best of luck..............