Should I have called the police?

Question

Last saturday night, a lot happened. but to sum it up, my dad was drinking and started getting abusive. I'm the one who called the police to try to make it stop and he's been in jail ever since. I feel responsible for him being in jail and i wish i could take it back. i dont know if i should feel sorry or if i did the right thing. Do you have any advice?

Answer 1

you did the right thing girl.... trust me, we couldnt have stopped him.... i know we all tried... there was nothing else you could have done..

Answer 2

It's a hard choice to make. My dad smacked me around a bit too and had some drinking issues, but I believe you did the right thing. It's not because he's a bad person or anything like that, but obviously something was wrong and it had to change. There's never an excuse for violence, especially in families, and you did what was right to protect yourself, your family, and believe it or not your dad. If you didn't do anything, chances are he'd just continue doing the same thing, over and over again, until something REALLY tragic happened. The truth is that as much as it hurts, sometimes we need to let people fall and be held accountable for their actions... how else are they ever going to think about what they did? Granted, he might not change, and when he gets out, he may go back to his old ways, but that shouldn't stop you from doing what's right to protect yourself and others. I don't know if you believe in God or have a faith, but if you do I'd suggest talking to your priest/pastor/etc about it. If not, then you might want to find a trusted teacher or friend to talk to, or see if they can refer you to a counselor (not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but someone who deals specifically with family issues like this. There are many and they'd be happy to help you). In the end, I know you feel guilty, but what would have happened if you had done nothing? You were strong and stuck by what's right, and nothing can say otherwise. All the best to you

Answer 3

You definitely did the right thing. No one should abuse anyone else, no matter what. So what if he was drinking? There is NO excuse for abuse. Period. If he does it again, call the police again. Be sure to press charges. It is NOT your fault that he is in jail. HE put himself there by being abusive. You did what you had to, to protect yourself. You have every right to protect yourself. Abusers want you to believe that it's your fault that they abuse, or that they are in jail, etc, just so they can feel better about themselves and have an excuse to keep doing what they are doing. DON'T let him make you believe that. HE is the only one that has control over his actions. If he doesn't have control over them, then he needs to pay the consequences--jail time.

Answer 4

From reading your summary, it sounds like you did the right thing. Your dad is in jail because he was abusive and he was drunk. That's a dangerous situation. If someone got hurt and you had not called the police, it would have been worse.

You may need to talk to someone about your home life. Seek out a counselor or someone you trust.

You may also want to contact Al Anon (a division of AA). Look it up in your town's phone book. The counselor's who are on the phones have experience and training in this area.

Answer 5

I don't know, there's not a lot to go on. But it sounds like you did the right thing, especially if he was getting abusive physically or just verbally. It's better that he's taken away to calm down then to let him rail against, also this way he may see that he needs help and seek it out to better his life and his relationship with you .

It's hard to do this kind of thing with family as we know we should be accepting and supportive to them, but if it is a matter of your own well being, as is often the case in these instances, we then have to consider our own self interest first.

Answer 6

You did the right thing, because if I were in your shoes, I would've done the same thing. Your father was getting abusive towards you, and you don't deserve it. Your father needs help with his drinking, and you shouldn't feel responsible for doing the right thing. Don't take it back, because in the long run, your father will be the one to feel sorry for what he did.

Answer 7

Your a hero...I know its your dad and you love him...but he doesn't drink responsablely...he needed this it may help him...it takes someone strong to make a stand and say...im not putting up with this your hurting me...too many keep silent and bare the consequences later in life...you and your family deserves to live without fear. I know it is hard but be strong...you may of saved a life...be proud...and i really hope your dad comes around and learns from his mistake...but you can only be responsible for yourself...not other people's actions.

Answer 8

I'm older and have grown children and my father was a alcholic. I know it is difficult, but your dad brought this on himself. I hope he can get some help with this problem. But I worry about you when he gets out, if he starts drinking again. Take care of yourself. If you're old enough it might be best to have some other place to go, plan ahead for what might lie ahead.

Answer 9

Abuse is never o.k.Think on it like this,what if you hadent called the police and somebody ended up getting badly hurt,or even worse??You did the right thing,maybe next time he will think twice about drinking and becoming abusive.Good luck

Answer 10

You did the right thing. What would have happened if you didn't and someone got seriously hurt? How would you feel? My brother-in-law beat the crap out of his wife and was in jail for a year. He just had to spend a year out of his life in jail when his wife had to have reconstructive surgary on one side of her face. She has had to have several more surgaries & is somewhat numb on that side of her face.
Great job!!

Answer 11

you did the right thing. he could have hurt your or someone in your family really bad. he needs help. it's natural that you are feeling guilty because he is your dad and you love him. he will probably continue to do it unless he seeks help this time. he should not be allowed back in the house with you and your family until he seeks counseling. i don't know if your mom is in the picture but you need to find residence with a more responsible adult until he is better.