Need Potty Training Advice?

Question

I have tried everything! Time outs, nakedness, underwear, potty seat, toilet seat, taking toys away, giving rewards, setting the timer for every 30 minutes, sticker posters, chuckie cheese rewards, ice cream rewards, taken away cartoons, etc. My son will be 4 in September and he will go sometimes, but usually he says, "Mom, did I pee? Am I getting a time out?" Does he really not feel the sensation, or is he playing with his mom?

My son is also an only child.

Answer 1

He still may not be ready yet. They say boys take longer than girls to potty train. The more you force the issue, the more likely they are to rebel, too. Try taking a time out for yourself. I am not a fan of pull ups but I'd try the ones that make him feel the wetness as well as you see the stars go away when they pee. Don't make a big deal of it if he goes in the diaper. Just see if he starts to go to the potty on his own.
I'd also check with the doctor to see if there are any other issues. If he's really not feeling the sensation, it might be something else. More than likely, he's just not ready yet. I know that is hard to hear for an almost 4 year old but as my mother in law told me when I was potty training my son, kids don't wear diapers in kindergarten, he'll be going on the potty soon enough.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

You are deffinatly being too hard on your son. You need to stop the punishment/reward stuff. It's confusing him. Just ask him every hour or so, "do you have to go potty"? and if he says yes, let him go, if he says no, then just say ok, and ask again in a while. The rewards to this should be a simple act of your praise, nothing more. Be persistant and calm. If he has an accident, tell him its okay and that next time he can try to go to the potty before he has an accident. Just tell him you are proud of him for the things that he has done good, and don't make a big deal out of it if he makes a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, and he's only 4.

Answer 3

Give the training a rest for a week then go at it again. plan to be home with him for few days without outings. Set the timer for every 30 minutes take him to the potty set it again for 5 minutes when it goes off or he is done going let him off the potty.
No rewards or huge celebration, keep it calm and simple, "Thank you for using the potty","your getting to be such a big boy using the potty".
When he does have an accident don't make a big deal out of it either, "you wet your pants, lets change them" then change them without any punishment or even talking any more about it, going on and on could set up a cycle of negative attention seeking.
Just get back on the 30 minute cycle, this takes dicipline for the parents as well as the child to stop everything every 30 and take him, without fan fare. I believe sensationalizing the training is the down fall, take it down a few notches and make it like a daily routine, like brushing teeth, eating breakfast, getting dressed etc.
With my own children this begins very early. As soon as they can sit up I put them to sit on a small toilet seat that fits on the big potty when I change their diapers. When I caught them going in the potty I told them what was happening, "you went peepee in the potty" then put the diaper back on.
I think you are trying too hard. Lighten up and keep it simple, and low key.

Answer 4

Some children are not as physically or developmentally ready to receive and interpret the same signals that tell the rest of us, "It's time to go to the bathroom." While some recieve the signal, their muscles may not be able to "hold it" until a potty is available. Our potty training advice: it is best in these situations to wait a little longer until your child is more mature. Do not force potty training.
Did you know that readiness to toilet train may be hereditary? If you or your spouse were trained at a late age, it is likely that one or more of your children will also be trained later. So, try to remember back to when you were potty trained and you may find interesting answers.
Let toddler be in the bathroom with you! Moms and Dads make great role models. While the bathroom need not be a public thoroughfare, never make your child feel as if the bathroom is a "secretive" place where strange things happen.


no need for stupid parties every single time - you dont want your child to be a spoiled snob. just praise everytime he/she goes. love and praise will go further that bribeing with silly parties.

Answer 5

don't know what the others said so sorry for any repeats..

It was easy to potty train my son when he was 2 yrs old. This is what I did...

I told him all about the potty and the toilet and what it's used for. I told him about the sensations he'll feel that tell him he needs to use the bathroom. I put him on the potty two hours after he ate or drank something. One hour later if he drank a lot. I gave him a book and told him not to get up until something came out. If it seemed like nothing was coming out after 5-10mins, I didn't force him to sit. If nothing came out, I sat him down again about 30mins to an hour later just in case he had to go. However, usually, he went after the 2 hours of eating and drinking and something came out. Praise him when he actually uses it. At bedtime, he sat on the potty. I got him up once or twice in the middle of the night to go potty. I asked him if he needed to go, he said no. I asked him questions to make sure he was completely awake and I asked him again if he had to go. If he said no and he then wet the bed, I spanked him. I only had to spank my son 3 times during potty training. So in short, take him to the potty 2 hrs after eating and drinking, don't force him to sit there, take him to the potty once or twice in the middle of the night. See if that works.

Answer 6

I will tell you what I did, it sounds crazy, but my daughter was trained over a weekend, and wouldn't even were a diaper at night after that. That was at 14 months, no less.
I threw her a party!! I am talking, streamers, horns, confetti, the works. I had her sit on the potty, which she was using it some at that point, and whenever she used it, she got a party. I did this every time she used the potty that weekend. Yeah it felt a little silly, but hey it worked....Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Relax. There is nothing wrong with a child who is four and not potty trained, particularly a boy. Do not push the issue, and things will happen on their own. When he is ready, he will do it. If he truly does not know when he has peed, he is not ready! Rewards, pull-ups, time-out, nothing will work if he is not ready. I would bet that if you do not mention it fo some time, all of a sudden, he will do it on his own. This is what happened with my son and he was almost four when he finally got it.

Answer 8

My advice, if you've really tried everything, is let it go for now. He will decide to do it on his own, and if he doesn't, his friends will pressure him into it. Let him know that when he wants not to wear diapers, you will help to remind him to use the potty. Otherwise it just becomes a power struggle between the two of you, and punishing him for an accident may make him anxious and more likely to have an accident.

Answer 9

I have a 3 yr old and my sister read in a magazine to start day one put big kid undies on them and take then to the potty every hour. Day 2 & 3 same as day one. Day 4: take away the drink and go potty every hour. It worked for my sister and a friend, but not for me. Good luck.

Answer 10

I think you already traumatized this kid and he's probably holding it until he can't hold it anymore and then he has accidents. I recommend you go to his pediatrician and seek help from him or her.

Kids will start going on their own when they are ready. If you pressure them too much, you only harm them. Talk to him and tell him that it's OK if he has an accident once in a while, but it would be great if he kept his clothes "nice and clean". Ask someone who your son admires to ask him to keep his clothes "nice and clean" and keep repeating that to him throughout the day, "so and so asked that you please keep your clothes nice and clean, so, tell mommy when you need to go potty". Don't give the child time outs when he has accidents, cause that only scares him.