I have been involved with this guy for a little over a year. I want to be in a relationship and he doesn't. He claims that he is in love with me and doesn't want me to go, but will not commit. So today I broke off the relationship explaining to him that I want something different then he does right now and I don't feel neither one of us should compromise. So I thought it would be best that if we stopped dealing w/ each other so I can persue what I want and he can have what he wants. He is 10 years my elder, but didn't seems to understand why. Did I do the right thing? I abolutely love him and love being with him, but should I compromise?
2006-06-29 05:55:23 · 14 answers · asked by drubaby32698 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You did the right thing. Sometimes people are just at two different points in their life and there for it doesn't work for them to be in a relationship. If a guy can't commit to being with just you after a year then there is a problem and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold simply hoping he will eventually change his mind.
2006-06-29 06:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I dated someone that was 8 years older than I was. He wanted everything his way or no way at all. He told me that he loved me but he didn't want to commit either. When he started getting to close he would push away. He broke up with me because I started going to the gym. We dated a little over a year. I am so happy that we are over. A great guy found me and we are doing wonderful. I didn't have to compromise he is wonderful a dream come true.
2006-06-29 13:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did what you had to do. The point in making a relationship work is to people working together. You both had different goals and instead of sticking around with "hope" you broke things off so you both didn't waste to much of each others time. It's hard but you''ll learn from it and move on from it.
2006-06-29 13:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I have the same problem as you ( 10 yrs. older than me) but he says he ISN'T in love with me although he loves me....he wants things to just stay as they are...and doesn't understand what's wrong with that??? How ironic....I say that if he genuinely makes you happy and you think that there is a chance that this could work out in your favor...then..DON'T GIVE UP ON HIM!!!!!
A year isn't long enough in my book to get to know someone and be willing to make a rash decision in either direction.....sometimes it's hard to ever know someone totally.... I think you should stick it out a little longer BUT if you honestly think in your heart that you are going to get hurt....then you have made the right decision by stopping the relationship.....
Hopefully he will come to his senses and realize what he has....but if he's an older man then those are harder to get to come around...
Good Luck to you!!!
2006-06-29 13:03:55 · answer #4 · answered by Blue_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, and said it beautifully.
If you love something set it free, if it comes back, its yours, if it doesn't, it never was. This saying fits perfectly in this situation. I wish you well and I hope you find what you are looking for, and you are right neither one of you should have to compromise.
2006-06-29 12:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by mad_hat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did exactly the right thing. he does not want a commitment and you do. he is 10 years older and is probably not going to change. he's not going be be able to give you what you need. let him go and find someone who wants the same things from a relationship that you do. good luck.
2006-06-29 13:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well first, you should ask him why he isnt ready to commit. If he really loves you then he must have a good reason to not commiting. If he doesnt then tell him that you want to be with someone that will share their love with you and not with someone that loves me but is holding me back.
2006-06-29 13:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by gracedog121 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can determine that. But let me add this, in this selfish, individualistic, immediate gratification, fast-food society, don't forget that relationships are built on compromises. No one person should dominate the relationship. It sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too.
BTW, it also sounds like low level codependency.
2006-06-29 13:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Plus it's in your past time to start living and found a guy that wants what you want
2006-06-29 12:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by Dessy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if things make you feel uncomfortable in a relationship and youve talked about it and come to nothing diffenrent happening then hey i think you made a good choice.
2006-06-29 12:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋