2006-06-29 04:48:17 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I just can't let satan decieve me anymore, I'm tired of being such an empty immorral satan worshipper.
2006-06-29 04:48:52 · update #1
Slaughter a Christian.
2006-06-29 17:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I assume you've heard of "transubstantiation" - the Catholic ritual wherein wine is converted into the Blood of Jesus by a priest. After the consecration you will need to arrange to bump into the priest holding the chalice - head-butting the receptacle gives the most coverage.
The common ruse to escape being pummeled by the altar boys is to feign instability. With an indignant face and an agonized voice, shout "Excuse me ... but just how am I supposed to clean the blood of Our Savior off of me??"
Then break into loud sobs and run out of the church. Believe me, no one will try to stop you. (It is important to avoid getting distracted by the guffaws of the sots int the back pews as you make your exit.)
Good luck and let us know how the saving goes.
2006-06-29 12:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to church and be baptized in holy water. But you can't have the blood of Jesus spilled all over you. The only way to be saved is to take Jesus into your heart and let Satan go.
2006-06-29 11:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to feel it in your heart and in your soul. You can't be a wanna -be. I am a blood bought child of Christ You have to live as if you were walking in his shoes and they are very big shoes to fill....as in the saying WWJD....that is how you become a blood bought child. Live your life how he lived his. We are human and we are going to slip up but he knows this and expects this. Love him like you have loved no other, trust him and know that he is there. It is a life process not an act.
2006-06-29 11:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by Linda H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prove it.
Your actions will speak louder than your words.
You words up to this point speak volumes and haven't supported this question.
I submit to you that if this is real then you will find true salvation and forgiveness, but more than likely you are making a joke of Christian beliefs and using this for you own fun.
Prove me wrong, I dare you. Then show it.
2006-06-29 11:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by Dead Man Walking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grosseeeeeee
2006-06-29 11:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by Atheist Eye Candy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Salvation is as simple as A-B-C
Accept that you are a sinner...
Believe that Christ died to save you from your sins
Confess your sins to Christ and confess that he is your saviour
That's the simple plan... for more details, contact your local Christian church (or drop me a line and we can talk more without boring everyone with my monologue).
2006-06-29 11:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by Rev T L Clark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a bar downtown that Jesus likes to hang out in. I can give you directions, and if you buy him a tall Heineken, he might give you some.
2006-06-29 11:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by salihe66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should search out a catholic priest and through Transubstantiation have him turn wine into the blood of jeebus.
Then, have him spill it on your favourite shirt.
2006-06-29 11:53:12 · answer #9 · answered by umwut? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To do that you'd have to cause deliberate brain damage to yourself. Otherwise you'll always be able to see through the lie that is christianity.
2006-06-29 11:53:14 · answer #10 · answered by RED MIST! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jim, stop teasing the Christians! That's not nice.
2006-06-29 11:53:46 · answer #11 · answered by Candice H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋