I just started dating this guy. I don't think it's going to work. What should I do?

Question

He's Mexican & an illegial immigrant. He's 21, I'm 24. He's been here for 6 years. He's sweet, he's hot, a good kisser & incredible in bed. He's kind of quiet. He speaks English, but is kind of quiet. When I have dated other guys, and I felt it wasn't going to work out (within the first few days of knowing them), I broke it off. I've never been in a real relationship & I would love for this to work out, but there's also someone else at work that I like, but he's got a girlfriend. I can't stop thinking about both of them & the Mexican makes me smile. I just don't know what I should do? How do I learn to give men a chance? I have a history of alcoholism & depression and I will be going through detox and getting back on meds before school starts again. What should I do?

I'm a Mexican, too, but I was trying to separate the two. The 2 guys I like are both foreigners, actually. One's Mexican, one's Turkish. I drink, but I'm not an alcoholic. I'm just doing detox, because I have a problems with quitting drinking & I want to cure my depression. I am a very sexual being, though, and I like being with the Mexican. His status in the US, does worry me, though. The Turkey guy will be leaving the US in December, too. The Turkey guy is the most goregous man I have ever met, and my Mexican is just as hot, but I have more in common with the Turkish guy.

Answer 1

let him read this question!

Answer 2

I think you need to forget about the guys totally right now. Get yourself straightened out first. After you do that, then look at the situation again. If the guy from work is still with his gf, forget him. If the Mexican is still interested, see where it goes. Don't worry about the "relationship". Just take it one day at a time. You may find that you don't have a problem at all. As for him being illegal, you might want to rethink all that though. He could be sent back and then where will you be. Also, if either of the men are into drugs or drinking, get rid of them. If you already have a problem with it, you don't need a man who can't support your decisions and help you out by not drinking.

Answer 3

I think that you should talk to the guy who has a girlfriend n decide if he would ever go with you. If not or not sure stay with the mexican cuz he does make u "smile". And as giving men a chance, just try to trust them as if it were ur first relationship. Dont depend on them 24/7 but dont ignore them either. And let the mexican dude knoe that ur goin on meds and that u get depressed and that u were an alcoholic. If he can take all that then that means he really does love u.

Answer 4

I think you should break up with the Mexican and focus on yourself right now. I've never had to go through what you are about to, and I'm pretty sure you would want a support system......but shouldn't that be family.

You should tell you current boyfriend that you are going to change your life for the better before school starts and need to be by yourself to do it. Tell him, once you have a better perspective you'll then ultimately decide if you want him back in your life......You never know, by then your co-worker could be single. Then, of course, you'll have to choose between him and the co-worker.

But whatever you decide.....good luck, and I hope everything works for you.

Answer 5

Dating is all about figuring out relationships. If your gut says that things aren't going to work out then break it off. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life and your simply not ready to be involved in a long term relationship yet. There is nothing wrong with that and when the time is right I'm sure you will find a way to give the right guy a chance.

Answer 6

The last thing you need now is a romantic involvement. Tell him that you've personal problems to deal with and that continuing your relationship with him will make their solution more difficult. And stay away from the guy at work. Get your life in order before hooking up with another guy. Do what's best for you and don't worry or feel guilty about the guy.

Answer 7

Chill out. Just take it as it comes. Hey, if you guys end up having an amzinf relationship and ur in love and everything trust me you wont even want to break up with him. If not, and one day you feel that the time has come, break up with him. But only for the right reasons. Dont start stressing out over the distant past! And congratulations.

Answer 8

sounds a lot like that movie, BEAUTIFUL, CRAZY, u are wrong by calling him Mexican, that's demeaning, u are also selfish... so do both of u a favor and break it off, so u ca go back to ur shallow relations. FYI there are no excuses only context, within addictions.

Answer 9

Don't get too serious with either guy right now. You should be concentrating on getting sober. Talk with your AA sponsor about relationships during the first year of recovery. If you are not going to AA, start tonight!

Answer 10

honey....please go trough your detox before you even think about a relationship with anybody you have to think about your phisical and mental health first,,dont get in to a relationship before you get your life in order,that guy do not deserve this.and a relationship can put so much stress on you that you can end up back in rehab.... best for you and him that you keep a friendship with guys until you get stuff straight with your self.you need friends and family now not a relationship... believe me hon is not going to work. first take care of you.good luck.

Answer 11

Be patient and take things slow. Maybe you feel like things aren't going to work out because you don't feel as if your life is completely together yet. You should take a break from dating and sort your stuff out before you get involved and take on someone elses.