I caught my g/f cheating on me with another guy, she doesnt know though, how can I handle this? I dont really want to break up with her, but I am really pissed off.
2006-06-29 04:31:40 · 29 answers · asked by North Dakota baseball player 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, you need to talk with her to make sure that your accusations are correct. Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
2006-06-29 04:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by mspooh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be 100% sure that she was acually cheating on you. If you confront her and she was not cheating, then your relationship will take almost as big of a hit as if she did actually cheat.
Since you said that you don't want to break up with her, you will have to come to terms that she likes to flirt and feel wanted by other guys. Lots of couples can make this work by having what's called an "Open" relationship. She can see other guys and you get to see other gals. She may stop all together, once you take the "Tabboo" out of her cheating. If she likes the idea, make sure you are both 100% open and honest about it from this point forward. Again, once she understands that you will be going out on dates too, then she might think twice. I'm not saying this is the best answer to your problem, but it will certainly allow your relationship to continue and maybe get better.
If all she does is get pissed off when you talk to her about the cheating and trying an open relationship, then you need to move on. No matter what you do, things will get worse.
One last thing, even though anger is a natual response to finding out your girl is doing things behind your back, don't get rough with her physically or mentally. In this day and age, guys can get in a lot of trouble for abuse in either of those catagories. Going to jail over her is that last thing you would need to do! Good luck!
2006-06-29 07:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by funcd4play 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell her about it but not 100% because you dont want to break up with her. Make it seem like you think and your very close to catching her. Make a big agurment so she could understand your not stupid. Give her a clue that you know something. Then cheat on her a couple of times so that you can feel better. dont think about what she is doing is your turn to cheat in the game of love, have a little fun, trust me she will feel that your having fun else where and then she's going to be the one asking you where you go all the time and she's going to think that your cheating because every one that cheats always thinks they are being played when things change in the relationship. Then she's going to be after you.
2006-06-29 04:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by skdfjasl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man...tell her in front of her in front of her friends and family..and dump her where her friends and family can act as your support and you can look like the good guy..then just leave! I'm sure her family will be shocked..unless they don't like you very much in which case they'll be pretty happy.
That should be revenge enough....if not, and you're a glutton for punishment..just stay like a dumbass and take it!! Sure nobody likes to feel used..but MAN UP..let it be known she cheated..and watch how many women you know pour themselves at you..go out on a few dates in places she goes..and just be happy! It the best revenge anyway. Flip it on her and do what the girls always try to do...keep dating women that look like her, she'll think you aren't over her....but everytime someone says that..just say, "oh no, she's definitely prettier than (insert ex's name) and more mature too!! Hahahaha
Maybe that'll make you feel a little better.
2006-06-29 06:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by mr_phatdique 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you dont think she will cheat again, you both need some time apart. I dont mean forever, but you both need to think about what happened and why. She needs to realize what she had, and what is was worth. and you need to realize if she is really someone you can go through this with. No matter what, you will not trust her for a long time, so be patient and let her know how you feel and why. Who knows it may work out and it may not, but a week or two or even a month apart will truly help you sort out your feelings.
2006-06-29 04:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by april_linam 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is such an important aspect to a relationship. I personally think cheating is a big "deal-breaker". What is the point of being in a relationship to commit when your going to date or be with other people? But, if you want to be with her, you should tell her what you saw and base your decision on her reaction. If she denies what you saw, they she is a liar and will continue to lie to you. If that's OK with you, then continue to date her. But if she tells you that she was wrong and feels genuine about trying to stay committed to you, then stay with her. Bottom line: you have to tell her how you feel because communication is also an important part of the relationship and besides if you don't say anything, she'll probably continue to cheat.
2006-06-29 04:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, before this anger becomes a thing you can't control, you need to confront her. She'll probably deny it, then apologize profusely, then probably try to find some way to blame you, but in the end this matter has really ruined the trust factor, and you have to decide if this is the type of person you want in your life. I've always believed that once a cheater, always a cheater, so it's really up to you, but confrontation is the key. How you handle that...well, I can't tell you how to handle yourself, except to try to stay calm & focused.
2006-06-29 04:35:28 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to face the facts that you shouldn't be with someone who is going to cheat on you whenever she thinks she can get away with it...I suspected my girl was up to something and caught her too, I confronted them both and called its quits on the spot, I later wished I hadn't but eventually knew it would have just been a game from then on...not what I thought it was...it can never be the same from now on...end it...its already over...best thing end it however you want to...be creative..
2006-06-29 04:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First make her accountable, let her know that you saw her. Communicate about the whole situation and decide from there if you want to stay with her. I know you love her, but make sure the relationship is worth salvaging. Know your value. You're worth much more than cheater and whoever God has for you will not cheat on you. My mom told me if a person cheats, they'll lie and if they'll lie, they'll steal and if they steal, they'll kill. Be careful...you don't want to pass those traits on to your children (spiritually..not genetically)!
2006-06-29 05:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by fsalley_sc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trust is now gone. You have two choices.
1. Leave her because she obviously isn't ready for commitment
2. Stay and live out the rest of your relationship with little or no trust which will eventually cause the relationship to decay anyway.
You deserve better. Find somebody better. Somebody who knows and appreciates the meaning of monogamy.
2006-06-29 04:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by Gia M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you mean cheating like hugging and kissing another guy. well you should just say im srry but this is not goign to work or just tell her we should take a break from each other because.. and you do the rest... good luck ♥ ..
just be honest and the more you ignore this the more she will take advantages of you.
2006-06-29 04:36:13 · answer #11 · answered by Sophia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋