i dont know where to turn anymore,i found out not to long ago that the guy i gave my life to has been calling other woman for months now to get his needs met.he says that he just talks to them because they are nice to him,i know in my gut that it has went farther than just a phone call.he wont show me his cell phone anymore ,and he lies constently.he has also moved out for a month,and lied to me about where it was.now i find out that he moved in with another woman ,but wants me to believe they were just roomates!should i just forget it all and trust him like he wants,or should i stay firm with wanting him to show me proof that he isnt doing these things anymore? i do love this guy and wanted to spend my life with him,but iam so broken now and dont know what to do,i feel so awful about myself now ,so if there is anyone out there with some advice,please help.
2006-06-29 04:26:54 · 23 answers · asked by gypsy36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dont believe him he cant be trusted i found that out the hard way
2006-06-29 04:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you still want to be with him? Someone that is going to treat you like that does not deserve to be with you. First off its okay for your man to have friends that are girls, it is not okay for your man to confide in just them. You are supose to be the best of friends, a relationship is not worth having if this is not the case, and you should be who he comes to first. Secondly, he moved out of your place and in with another chick? That is a pretty good clue right there that you need to cut your loses. You know that expression there are pleanty of fish in the sea? Well its true. Ditch him, work on yourself for a while. Do what makes you happy, improve all of the qualities that you are not so fond of, try new things that you have always wondered about, get drunk with your girlfriends. One day you will happen upon someone that completes you and be all the more thankful that you decided to live your life for yourself. It is easy for someone to say these things I know. However I have been there. I left my sons father when he was little, it was a very distructive relationship. Worked on myself, took care of my little boy. A year and a half ago I met the greatest guy in the world, were getting married, having a baby, life has never been better. He respects me and treats me the way that I should be treated. You should want nothing less for yourself.
2006-06-29 11:39:46 · answer #2 · answered by Krissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel bad about yourself.
I am sure that you are a great person, and a wonderfull gf.
if you weren't, you would have already left him.
it is good to be trusting to a point.
but if you pass that point with it, it changes from being trusting, to being naive.
if you are sure he has been doing this, then you need to NOT forgive it.
give him ample opportunities to prove to you that he hasn't.
but if he refuses, or you do not feel that he has provided suficiant proof, do NOT trust him anymore.
I don't really know the relationship, but giving him a seond chance would be based on yall's past.
if you did, then you would need to give him a chance to build back up that trust that you had in him.
and then, if you can't bring yourself to trust him again, then you'll have to end it. because a relationship without trust will never work.
or, you can ignore my advice, and just trust him on this one.
but, not meaning to be rude here or anything, that would be crossing the line from trusting, to naive.
but be sure that you are sure that you are right before you move on it.
you might want to do a little snooping on it just to be sure.
because once you start, you may not be able to turn back.
and if you find out that he is telling the truth, although for some reason i doubt that you will, then be sure that you provide him with a most sufficiant apology, both for doubting him, and for anything that you do to figure it out.
but let him know iether way, that he can't go calling, and seeing other women behind your back. he can't hide things from you, because hiding things causes issues.
you can not trust someone who is hiding things from you.
let him know this, and then proceed as you see fit.
but in no way is any of it your fault.
you said you felt awfull about yourself, DON'T!!!!
it's not you!!!!! it's him!!!!
good luck, and feel free to contact me if you like my advice, and would like more.
2006-06-29 11:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by my_name_is_what 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! I am very good with advice and i think you should take what i tell you into consederation. First, if he needs other women to meet his needs, either you aren't doing something he wants, or he simply can't stay faithful. What you have to do is stay strong and follow up to find proof. don't make yourself obvious though. Lay low for a bit, maybe a few weeks, a month max. Tell him exactly how you feel, see if he will confess. break down to him that you two have been through too much to let it all go to waist, but that if he can't stay committed than you can't stay around to play games with love nad that he needs to make up his mind what he wants. If you really appreciate the advice i just gave you, keep me updated with what goes on, if you need more help, just e-mail me at theseeyes07@yahoo.com. ttyl.
2006-06-29 11:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by Nadejah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is put your foot down and stop feeling sorry for yourself you didn't do anything wrong it's the guy that's cheating on you and why should you trust someone that isn't worthy of being trust just leave this guy i no that's alot of years and you really do Love him but he's mistreating you and making you unhappy and no woman deserves that let him go and be with these other women once a cheat always a cheat so move on do that for you self before you don't end up getting hurt more
2006-06-29 11:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard to make such a decision, especially when you truly believed and love this person. I had a similar situation, and you just have to be strong and move on. If he really loves you and wants to be with you then he will prove it to you. And when I say prove, he has to change 100%. After he got that "roommate" i don't think he is ready for a serious relationship. Girl try to move on. You don't want to be with someone who is going to disrespect you and not treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Plus you don't want to catch any diseases. You just have to be strong and show him that you are a very valuable person who is not willing to play those childish games, and move on. GOOD LUCK... Torresshs04@yahoo.com
2006-06-29 11:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by Adri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to leave him alone. Love shouldn't hurt, be confusing, or have you up all time of night for the wrong reasons. The time and energy you put into hating him could be time and energy you put into loving someone else. Life is a lesson. Just when we think we have all the answers, something else pops up. Just bounce back. And your life is not over, maybe God has something better in stored for you.
2006-06-29 11:33:10 · answer #7 · answered by mspooh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, our minds and souls are there to protect us, and when you say you know in your gut that he has went further and yet still wanting to stay with him only says that he has went further and you are not ready to accept the fact it is time to move on...don't let guys mistreat you...love and respect yourself and find someone who is worthy of you...don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself...love yourself and only then can you be loved by others...i hope this helps - good luck!
2006-06-29 11:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you should get out of the relationship. If he needs to be with other women to feel happy, then there are seriously problems that may be past the point of no return. Honest talking could help, but the way you describe him he sounds like a liar, so it likely wouldn't help out here.
2006-06-29 11:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by razor9876 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but he's lying to you. If you feel that he's cheating on you and you know he's called other women and actually lived with one for a month, he is definitely cheating. If you want to save the relationship, he needs to be honest with you and confess to what he's done and you two need to talk about it. Counseling might be needed too. If he won't admit to what he's done and continues to lie about it, he's going to keep doing it. You need to confront him and tell him that if he wants to stay with you, you two need to work on this. And it won't be easy. I don't know him, but from what you said, it sounds like he already wants to move on. Good luck!
2006-06-29 11:34:48 · answer #10 · answered by tazdevil3369 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a life of misery then by all means stay with this loser. OR move on, and find a real man, one who will treat you like the princess you are.
2006-06-29 11:31:01 · answer #11 · answered by rudytute 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋