Does anyone else feel completely isolated since they had children and find it hard to speak to people?

Question

I have two children and other than my partner don't seem to ever spend any time with adults. I think I'm going slightly mad!!!!!!!

my children are 3 and 7 months. i'm quite a shy person and can't seem to get the courage to strike up conversation with other mums in the park etc. I live 50 miles away from friends and family so don't even have babysitters nearby.

Answer 1

absolutely. even though children are wonderful when u have kids it seems to knock all the confidence out of u. when we had our little boy i didn't want to go out anywhere. i got very depressed but didn't really tell anyone for months. it just got worse and worse and no matter what your friends and family say to u it never really makes u feel better. it got so bad a couple of years ago that i didn't leave the house at all and i had mental health nurses visiting me every day to make sure i didn't do anything silly. my partner had to stay at home with me all the time and then last year i tried to cut my wrists. i narrowly escaped being put in the nut house and no amount of counselling was helping me. not long after something just clicked inside me and i decided i'd had enough. i put up a front and pretended i was the most confident person there, i got a voluntary job helping out in a reptile shop which helped me greatly. i spoke to the customers and just talking to people helped and i started to feel real confidence instead of having to fake it. i gradually started to go out more and now i go out with my best friend whenever i can. i could never have done that a year ago. i think u have to put up a front and pretend you're someone you're not to give u that kick start u need. i honestly believe if u started to talk to total strangers more you'd benefit greatly from it. it will happen, but u have to really push youself, no-one can do it for u. i'm such a wuss, if i can do it i'd bet my life u could.

Answer 2

I know exactly where you're coming from. My spouse and I have1 child. And it' harder than ever. We work different shifts and hardly spend anytime together anymore. It's a bit crazy on the weekends. But you know something we have a beautiful little girl and won't change it for the world. The little time my husband and I do get together it's so much better and worth it. Enjoy your children as long as you can. If you need to keep in contact with other adults call or ask a neighbor to watch your children for a couple of hours or see if there is a night time day care in your area. Take care.

Answer 3

Yes, I know exactly how you feel! Sometimes I crave a sensible adult conversation!!

The only people I am really with are my 4 year old son and my partner, and it is really hard to meet new people when you have a little one.

I really miss my "girlfriends" - sitting dwon with a bottle of wine and having girly chats and gossiping.. Seems so long ago now!!

I also have problems making friends with other mothers, as I was very young when I had my son. I feel like they sort of leave me out of things, and get together without telling me.

Having kids changes everything, but it is also the greatest experience in the world!

Answer 4

YES! YES! and oh YES! Especially if you're a stay at home mom like me. I've also found that if you're in for a period of time, like my son was born in October and little ones are supposed to go out and then winter came...., that you tend to isolate yourself even more. It was really 2 years before I came out to go to a music class and boy was that a tough decision I had to force myself to go. I think it has to do with being shy, too. Few people understand this kind of thing so I can't really talk to people about it. Most of my friend's are working and their kids are getting married and having kids of their own so I'm alone that way, too. That's why I think I like Answers so much. Because I'm communicating with other people and I'm anonymous so I can say what I think, too. I wish there were more groups for us around here that didn't cost an arm and a leg. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Answer 5

I have 2 children as well. I find interacting with adults can be difficult when my first responsibility is my children. BUT find other parents with similar interests, children of the same age, join a parenting group/play group or what few friends you do have, dedicate 2 nights a month to just spending time out with them, youll be bound to meet more people that way!~

Answer 6

I know what you mean! I have a 3 year old and a 14 month old and even though I love my kids I feel like I want a life. My husband works away alot and there's nothing worse than not talking to another adult all day. How about trying tumble tots if there is one near you. It has helped with me, the kids love it and you do end up talking to the other parents. It will get better, sometimes you have to force yourself to talk to other people. I decided I didn't want my son to be as shy as me so if I wanted him to talk to people then I have to.

Answer 7

If your first is three years, you can probably get them in some type of activity, like swimming or gymnastics (it's them just rooling around on the floor) at your local rec. center for pretty cheap. That's a good way of meeting other parents in your same situatuion and get a chance to socialize a bit with adults that won't think your wierd when you talk about kids stuff or mommy stuff. Let's face it when you become a parent especially of more than one, you start speaking a different language that only other parents can understand :)

Answer 8

i imagine it really is unclear that your actual project is schizophrenia. i'm questioning once you've had a second opinion? If it really is, then that's between the few 'psychological ailments' that somewhat does respond to drugs. Is it accessible that you'll chat on your Dr. and be conscious in case you could attempt something diverse? also, on the alternative aspect, meditation can do wonders for all varieties of ailments of the guidelines and the body. I truly have considered it artwork many circumstances contained with regards to psychological or emotional disturbance. besides the undeniable fact that, depending merely what on what you've written I do have my doubts about schizophrenia and sweetness what a second opinion would say. You element out searching into the reflect and under no circumstances liking what you be conscious on your eyes. which could no longer an indication of psychological ailment unavoidably. that's something i imagine maximum folk have experienced on social gathering. i comprehend it absolutely it has surpassed off to me etc I truly have spoken with. i myself take day out each and every now and then deliberately to look into the reflect and be conscious what I see there. i do not enable it scare me, because i comprehend that something unfavorable searching back at me is only a reflection of the turmoil i'm feeling in my spirit on the instantaneous. i myself use that to assist myself. after all, it type of feels you're an exceedingly resourceful proper brained type of man or woman and also you're merely over wondering the total element. you'd be 'weird and wonderful' and whimsical on your hearts content fabric without being loopy. it really is complicated to be your real and authentic self no remember what your state of psychological health is. that's area of the human situation. per chance you should include that as area of your adventure and attempt to provide up the angst.

Answer 9

I know exactly what you mean. I hated the first few years of my children's lives. It's sad but true. Some of us are just not natural mothers. Without a doubt I had a touch of post natal depression, just didn't realise it at the time. My doctor diagnosed me six months too late!

The good news is, life soon improves, you'll get to meet more people when your kids start pre-school and school and now my kids and 6 and 7 and I couldn't be happier.

Good luck :-)

Answer 10

All moms that stay at home feel this way. The reason when the husbands come home, they hear "we have to go out" and then there's the fight because he's tired. I remember those times. You lose all adult contact - at least it feels that way. I know this is sounds cliche but "this too shall pass" and it will. You probably need to get out and get a job or something - maybe even part time so you can socialize with adults. I know, it's difficult.