My grandma died last Sunday and I was really sad and messed up for the first 2 or 3 days but I know she was suffering and is better off now. Work gives me 3 days bereavement, but I can work through the day without a breakdown and feel pretty normal. If I was at home, I would just play with the dog or watch TV or something.
Is it right for me to take the days they give me away from work even though I don't need them to grieve and would just be using them like vacation days?
2006-06-29 03:19:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are probably still grieving even though you don't realize it. I would say take them. Give yourself time to heal. Why rush going back to a stressful job that could trigger and emotional outbreak?
Now, if you were using them and someone really didn't die, then there's a problem with that.
2006-06-29 03:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by jetskichick25 3 · 9⤊ 1⤋
No it is not wrong just because you could work through the day without a breakdown. They give you the bereavement days becaue you NEED to come to terms with what happened a lot of ppl can work through the day without breakdown when someone dies but most who go ahead and do never deal with what happened. You said when home you would just play with your dog or watch tv but you might realize once ALONE you find that you actually need the days.
I am sorry for your loss and glad to hear you say you KNOW she is in a better place.
Best wishes
2006-06-29 03:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by shellshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what type of job and what policy your employer established. However, if you have vacation time or sick time available they cannot tell you cannot have it for a family death. However, an uncle, although very close, is not considered immediate family and there fore is not mandatory for funeral leave time. I would check with any policies that might be available through your resource office. Either way, I would take the day and be with my family. There is always another job and as I once told my employer - I don't have a family because I work, I work because I have a family - my family is my primary responsibility. Sorry about your loss and hope your family will find the encouragement from each other to get through it.
2016-03-26 21:46:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you are ready to go back to work and your normal life than by all means do it. I think that it is important to get back to a normal life as quickly as possible. It is much better for you.
The bereavement days are meant to give you time to grieve and do legal things with the deceased estate. Since she is your grandmother and you did not indicate that you were the executor of her estate then you should go back to work. They are there if you need them so you shouldn't abuse them.
2006-06-29 03:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. If you don't need to take the bereavement days - then don't. Sometimes working helps people to keep their minds off being sad. I needed my days because I had to plan my mom's funeral and make all the arrangements - in fact - I needed more than three days. I attended my church service that Sunday and I played the piano because I didn't want to sit at home, crying and feeling sorry for myself. Being at church, my friends and Pastor were there to show me love and support. That night, I buried my mom.
2006-06-29 03:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way, work is not a "normal" activity for humans. We created the system, so the guilt you feel was taught. Break out of that system, at least in your mind. You live your life for you. Even if you didn't "grieve" during your time off, you certainly were able to think about things other than work.
2006-06-29 04:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thought i'd weigh in.
I'm in the group that says you probably need them even if you don't think you do, and your family could use your support too.
when my grandpa died, we all knew it was better for him, because he had been in a lot of pain, but that didn't mean we didn't grieve for our loss. Most people, i would think, when they are grieving, don't sit at home and tear at their hair, they try to do normal things, like playing with the dog (which can be incredibly therapeutic) or watching TV, or visiting with family (even if you don't talk about the death)
good luck, and i'm sorry that you've had to lose a loved one.
2006-06-29 03:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by ladylawyer26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is to say if its wrong or not? Maybe that is a good way to deal with the loss even if you can still work without a breakdown etc. I would say you deserve the time off not to cheat your employeer, but to spend time the way you want to. Down deep inside you may actually need this time off from work but don't realize it. I say its ok to take off from work.
2006-06-29 03:25:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with jetskichick25. You are in mourning and may think you are okay, but deep down, not really. You could be playing with your dog and something jog a memory about grandma and just fall apart. Take the third day and just remember the good things about your grandmother.
2006-06-29 03:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by Caleb's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you the turth, that is what most people do, I am not saying that you don't need the days, it's not that you can't work through the day, it's like this the days are for you to just get your house in order kinda say......
If it's your grandmother, what if your parents need your help with something, as if you're the stronger person in the family.or something like that.
2006-06-29 03:28:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lil Angel 68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋