2006-06-29 03:17:15 · 7 answers · asked by badmamajumba 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long beard... "I'm lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young and beautiful. She was obviously attracted to the young man, since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night he could bear it no longer and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.
He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese torture #1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty lousy torture," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read..."Chinese torture #2: Rock tied to left testicle." Panicking, he glanced down and saw that the rope was getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.
As he plummeted towards the ground, he saw a large sign on the ground that read..."Chinese torture #3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
2006-06-29 03:36:27 · answer #1 · answered by anotherAzn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yo mama so fat she has a all season past to Krispy Kreme!
You so black when you go tin the car the oil light came on!
You know the difference between the U-turn on the road and yo mama, the U turn has curves you can get use too
You so stupid you stared at the orange juice container for three hours because it said concentrate!!
LOL!!
from your friendly answering girl, cheesecakelover LOL!! XD! =D
2006-06-29 10:30:28 · answer #2 · answered by cheesecakelover101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
2006-07-04 05:08:45 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Chinese guy takes Chinese currency to the bank and changes it and gets 200 dollars U.S.
Next week he takes the sames amount and gets 210 U.S.
The week after he takes it and get only 155 U.S., he says
"What the leason this week you onlee gimme hundled fiddy-fie dollah?"
"Fluctuation."
"Fluck-you-American!"
What did the blonde's left ankle say to the right ankle? Nothing, they've never met!
(You have to say this one out loud) How do you catch a polar bear?
You cut a hole in the ice and place peas around the hole, and when the bear bends over to pea you kick 'em in the ice hole!
Yo momma so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
2006-06-29 10:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2
but how did they get in there?
2006-06-29 10:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by tmbr1wulf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mama so black ....she was swimming in the ocean and they thought it was an oil spill
2006-06-29 10:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ME!
2006-07-06 07:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Shj_44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋