I'm a fairly independent person. When me and my boyfriend go out I make sure we take turns paying etc, bc not only do I think it's not fair that he be the one to pay all the time, but he's also been under a bit of stress lately when it comes to cash (It took a really long time for him to accept the fact that i wanted to pay for something). However his friend quit his job hastily and is now unemployed. He has no problem making my boyfriend pay for him whenever they hang out, get a beer, whatever. As a result my boyfriend wastes all of his cash on his unemployed buddy and has taken to asking me to pay when we go out just the two of us. (If I have no cash, he asks me to hang out at his house). While I have no problem taking turns, throwing all of the financial expenses on me is unfair. It's not my place to tell him what to do about his friend, but he's starting to p*ss me off. Any advice on how to handle this?
2006-06-29 03:06:54 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let him know you would like to go out with him more but you can't financially support as much as you would like to go out for the both of you...ask when is his friend going to get another job because he seems to drain any money that may be spent on the two of you...this arrangement needs fixing...if he isn't willing to do his share find someone else who will...I always pay but when a women offers , on occasion I accept it...your doing more than I expect any women to do.
2006-06-29 03:17:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to have a talk to your boyfriend about free loader or go straight to free loader and get some stuff off of your chest. The taking turns thing is a very good idea and a lot more girls need to do that. You have the right idea, but your boyfriend does need to be told that you do not like his not having money sometimes thing. Otherwise - when he wants to go out and you do not have the cash and he wants to just hang out at his house tell him you have things to do and have a "pamper me" night. He will get the point.
2006-06-29 10:12:19 · answer #2 · answered by jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Its OK to help some one out, like provide a roof or feed them, but the extra curricular activities should stop. Its not your fault that this guy quit his job and now is bumming off of you guys to have a good time going out. I think its OK to provide for some one here and there. Take them out once in awhile, but it seems as if he is breaking your bf's and your wallet. Just tell your bf what is on your mind, he may actually feel the same way. After all you guys can't read each others mind.
Good luck with your fifth wheel.
2006-06-29 10:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsugakb24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HATE PATSIES. I know how you feel my boyfriend just got a lapdog the other day. Pretty annoying. I assume it's more about the fact his "friend", if you can call them that, does nothing and gets everything. It's basically switching the friend into your spot, and yourself into his friends spot but him and his friend aren't intimate.
Im dealing with this issue, it just started. How, im not sure. If you guys enjoy arguing... id say something along the lines of " I don't ask for much, and I don't want to be pampered but im your god damned girfriend not _____, so quit giving him everything you have!!!!
2006-06-29 10:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by Poestalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him and show him that I don't really like what he does! Tell him that this situation cannot happen foerever and that he and his friend should find a job for his friend and not pay to go out!
2006-06-29 10:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by maria d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMUNICATE. You must talk with him and share with him what you have shared with us. Let him know that you don't like what' s happening and it's affecting your relationship with him. If he cares about you, he will understand and will work to try and make things better between you. In the meantime, only you have control over you AND your money. You can always JUST SAY NO.
2006-06-29 10:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to mess with his relationship with his friend--that could backfire.
Instead, start suggesting very cheap or free dates, like walking in the park, or checking out movies from the library and watching them at home, or cooking together.
2006-06-29 10:12:52 · answer #7 · answered by Torero In Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to him, tell him that he needs to tell his friend it is not his place to float him every where he goes. And all though you don't mind doin 50% of the money work you don't want to do 100. You are the girl and remind him the guys are suppose to do that lil detail.
2006-06-29 10:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by nana_14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a job or get a new girlfriend. Say i dont have the money to waste on you and your friend.
2006-06-29 10:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty to me is the most important thing in a relationship. So just be honest with him! I am sure if you explane things Honestly he will understand and respect that you where honest with him!
2006-06-29 10:11:52 · answer #10 · answered by Wolfman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋