Best guide for raising kids? My wife and I are planning on having kids?

Answer 1

Attachment Parenting:
Peaceful Parenting for a Peaceful World

"7 ATTACHMENT TOOLS: THE BABY B'S

1. Birth bonding. The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture (see Bonding)

"What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?"

Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute "critical period" or a "now-or-never" relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent- infant relationship a headstart. (See "Birth Bonding")

2. Breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is an exercise in babyreading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.

3. Babywearing. A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity. (Click here for more information on Babywearing)

4. Bedding close to baby. Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.

5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry. A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate. (See Crying and Cry it Out)

6. Beware of baby trainers. Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This "convenience" parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.

7. Balance. In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby � knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no," and having the wisdom to say "yes" to yourself when you need help."

Answer 2

The best guide is just letting your heart decide. A child is your future and your first love, remember that children come first even before you. Having a child is a great thing. When they are growing nurture their dreams, never punish them too harshly for their mistakes, but don't let it go un taken care of. When they are in school help them and pay attention to them, always tell them how proud you are of them. Keep them happy even when it seems very hard. Never let them stay angry or hurt. Always comfort them and talk with them about life at the appropriate times. Even talking to them when they are babies helps them learn the importance at a young age of communication and being able to tell you anything without harsh repurcussions. Tell them every day how much you love them don't be afraid of that word. Kids love their Dad around, don't be too busy to do things with them, make time for them all the time. If you are gone a lot be sure to explain to them why you work. But you must always keep a promise. Never break them. I have quit jobs to keep promises. Promises are very sacred to children and they never forget those things. Be your childs hero and best friend, No book in the world will ever be a good guide, just be sure you are ready financially. Try never to bring a child into the world if you can't financially give the child what it needs because it is going to take a lot out of you physically, emotionally, and financially. The best guide is your heart, if your parents are still alive they can also help. If your parents were good to you then they will be a good help. Don't be afraid to seek their guidance. Just don't look for your answers in a book, none of them ever have the answers you will need when you have your child. You will have to learn as you go, and you won't have time to refer to a book for the answers. Good luck in your new adventure.

Answer 3

I see that most people are telling you not to read books. I think there are good books and bad books, most have really bad advice. James Dobson has several good books, Dare to discipline is one of them that is really good and parenting is not for cowards. I would highly recomend both of these books. Children need boundries and they need to know above all that their parents love each other. Many people will tell to to put the children first but the marriage needs to come first and the children will grow up knowing they were loved. Look at people that have really good kids and see what they are doing. These people are getting harder and harder to find. Believe me you will not do everything perfect but if you do the hard work of parenting when the children are small they will be a blessing to you when they are older. All children are different and that is a challange. I have a daughter that was easy from the day she was born she wanted to please us then we had a son that from the day he was born he was a lot of work. Most of the work with our son was in the first 14 years then it was easy sailing. At 16 our son said to my husband and I that he is so glad that we disciplined him and taught him to respect authority when he was little because he was seeing his friends having such a hard time with that and it was really getting them in big trouble. He became the one in his school that other kids came to for help through their teen years. another thing that I think is important is to teach children to work and make it fun but not for pay. A whole family lives in a house so the whole family needs to keep it clean. I do not believe in paying a child for what they should be doing any way. Don't give your children to much stuff and don't use the TV as a baby sitter there isn't much on a child should be waching. Do things as a family play games and just do things together, walks biking just spending time together.

Answer 4

well, I don't have any kids of my own, but I have helped raise my sisters two daughters.
the best way to raise a child is to give them tons of love. When your wife is pregnant, have her read a kids book outloud, stroke softly on the belly and talk to the baby in the womb.
When the baby is born, even though they can't understand what they are saying, have them watch channel 13, like sesame street and cyber chase, my two nieces have improved very well. The 2 yr old learned her abc at the age of 1 in English and Spanish, and the 1 yr old is learning to sing the barney song.
it all takes time and dedication. that is the best way to raise a child along with lots of love, because where there is no love, there is no trust. you want your child to trust you with everything no matter what.

Answer 5

how may years have you been married? if 1-2 don't have kids yet. If 3-4 have at least 1 child. If 5-6 have 1 more. The best number to have is 2 children but always be carful with them and let them know you luv them even at a young age.

Answer 6

i have 2 boys, 2 and 4. there really is no 'best guide'. when i need help or advice i ask my mom or mother in-law. if you really want a book(s) i would go with the what to expect.. set. they give great info and advive. but only use them as suggestions and talk to a pediatrition. i guess the best guide you can have is someone who has been through it. and if possible find a pediatrition who has their own kids, they understand better.

Answer 7

Sorry ... last time i checked kids still don't come with instruction manuals ... and I haven't found a cheat sheet that works the say for each child. If you find one ... let the rest of us know will ya!!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

My advice - don't read any books. The kids didn't read them, and they don't act the way the books say they will, and then you don't know what to do!

Read the Bible, especially Proverbs.

Answer 10

having baby's don't come with a book to tell you how to cope with problems that come along
just have your baby and in joy
respect
shaz