Is it bad parenting or the children?

Question

Can it be genetics? When I see children shrieking and misbehaving in public, is it always the parents? I know people like to blame it on the parents? But can things like ADD and ADHD be genetic? Thigns that cause children to misbehave so badly? I hate kids, I don't want any and I do not tolerate any of their crap. That's why I don't babysit. But I was wondering if it's always the parents fault? I have ADD, but I keep it under control most of the time. I know people who have kids tha tare ADHD and just UNCONTROLLABLE. Horrible children...and the parents are as sweet as they can be. I've got a friend who is just fine, her mom raised her and her brother the same way, she is fine and married and happy, but her brother...my GOD. What a TERROR.

I know some of it may be the family situation at home, but WOW. I know there are meds, is it just an issue of getting the child (or even adult) to take the pills? Or even getting them to a doctor?

I've always thought it was parenting too...I was scared of my mom and even with ADD I acted right. She never hit me or beat me, but she just instilled this FEAR in me lol. I think I was afraid of disappointing her.

Answer 1

It usually because the parents have been fed this stupid namby pamby crap about not disciplining their children. I never understood why letting your children do whatever they want would teach them to behave. My children understand that there is a consequence for their actions. Too many parents use ADD as an excuse to let their headstrong children run wild. Two of my nephew had ADD when they were younger. With a little extra attention and a few extra rules, they have turned into fine adults and were very well behaved children. I understand that some children are just plain horrible, but I believe that the parents are mostly at fault. Children are not born that way they are made that way.

Answer 2

I think sometimes it's a little bit of both, the children AND the parents. My 2 1/2 year old son can be a terror at times, but other times he's the sweetest little boy there is. I really think for some children they are made to behave at home so much that when they "go out" in public it's their chance to "act up"...but for other kids....maybe it's the fresh air and everything that makes them go crazy. Some parents don't like to "dicipline" their children in public because they think someone will think they are a bad parent. I know I hate to put my son in time out when we are in public but it has to be done. WIth children you MUST be consistant, children learn by repitition. As for the parents, sometimes they just get so tired and exhausted from taking care of their kids that they just let them run wild at times...and other parents just don't care what their kids do...
I am one of those moms that does not believe in ADD or ADHD, I think it is just a way for doctors to get money and dope kids up on meds. I don't think it helps them at all in fact I think it makes it worse. WIth a little hard work and patience I think any child can be handled properly without drugging them up to mellow them out.
I hope I helped explain things a little. Take care and have a nice day.

Answer 3

if you look at ADD or ADHD you see than any teacher can say your child has a disorder. sometimes misbehaving children is because of lack of discipline and sometimes it's a disorder. but right from the beginning thinking because a 5 year old won't sit down for more than 5 minutes he has ADD or ADHD is wrong. for any five year old normal or not sitting for five minutes is a feat. when they grow up a lot of things can factor. sometimes they misdiagnose a child's disorder and taking the medicine can mess up brain functions as they get older. and disorders can be genetic. but don't rule out the fact that maybe they are just bad, spoiled children.

Answer 4

Usually it is the parenting. Some parents either don't care enough to teach them discipline, or what is right or wrong, so the children don't understand what controlling themselves really is, or the parents don't know that their parenting is insufficient. Some times they can have some sort of disease, like autism, that can make control more challenging. But even with varying levels of autism, self-control can be reached. And there are medications that help with ADD and ADHD, although some side-effects are horrible. So usually it is the parenting.

Answer 5

Just because a parent is 'as sweet as they can be', that doesn't mean their kids will be the same. Boys and girls are different, maybe need different things growing up and different methods of care and discipline. Maybe that's why your friend is ok, but her brother acts different. Also, some parents who are nice and everything may not carry out discipline, and maybe that's why you see some 'nice' parents who seem to have uncontrollable kids. Or it could also be just the kid themselves. Who knows, there are so many things that influence people and their behavior, sometimes it's hard to try to think of all the reasons and possibilities for things.

Answer 6

personally i think most of the blame falls on the parents. Too many parents let thier kids get away with a lot more nowadays. As far as ADD goes, i don't believe its an excuse.... I had it when i was a kid, (before they used to toss the expression at every slightly hyperactive child like they do nowadays,) and i still never acted up like you see some of these kids do now...

Answer 7

I disagree with a majority of these answers. Why should a parent have to put the fear of god in kids? Fear can control your emotions and mental capabilities. You can disapline children but you should not have to hit, punch, slap, kick or spank. ADHD is real and its not a parents fault and Doctors dont just give meds to make it go away. Its real!!!! Redirect your angry to your kids and you will see a difference.

Answer 8

Well most of the time it is the parents, but it could be conditions like ADD and ADHD. If it is the conditions I bet the parents are just unaware that their child has the condition or maybe the parents are in denial about it.

Answer 9

I believe it's bad parenting. people seem to use these disorders as an excuse to not do their jobs. I know from experience that good consistent disipline from the beginning will prevent these monsters. don't wait until they are 8 or 9 yrs. old and wonder why they're out of control.

Answer 10

I know that my children were born with ADHD.
I know they continue to have it.
And I'm sick of people blamming the parents.
A mother knows when there is something wrong with their children.
It would help if people stop parent bashing and advocate for more support for ADHD kids.