My son has Tourette's Syndrome and ADHD and uses Marijuana to cope. He is living in a tent in the backyard and is out of money. I refuse to help him further until he is off drugs and he has no desire at this point in time. I am tired.
2006-06-29 01:59:24 · 10 answers · asked by Lady Masternada 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Time for tough love. Tourette's and ADHD can be treated, but not by marijuana.Tell him to seek the help he needs or he can go "find" himself somewhere else. Maybe he has to hit absolute rock bottom before he picks himself up. GOOD LUCK
2006-06-29 02:05:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the right thing by not helping feed his drig addiction. I'm sorry he has medical problems, but he's using them as an excuse to smoke weed. The only thing I have ever heard of it helping is Multiple Sclerosis, and it still isn't legal. He needs to wake up and get off his butt. There's nothing you can do. It's his decision whether or not to quit and clean up and get a job. If he would rather smoke weed and be homeless, that's his problem. Some people probably think you're being cruel, but you're not. You've done your job. The fact that you aren't taking care of him shows that.....you want him to be an adult and do things for himself. I know you love him, but that's all you can do. Pray for him. Offer to take him to get him some professional help. But this is not your fault and not your job to fix. He needs tough love, and you seem to be doing a good job of it. I am so sorry to hear about your mom....what you need to focus on right now is her and spending time with her. You have precious little time with her, so make the very best of it. I'd spend every second I could with her if I were you. If it's just sitting and talking, or reading to her, or just sitting there with her. Just remember you won't get this time back. And though it sounds really really horrible, this may be the kick in the butt your son needs. When he sees what it's like for you to lose your mom, maybe he'll wake up and see what he's doing to you and imagine his life without you. I hope everything works out for you, and I'll say a prayer for you. Good luck, and keep your head up....you seem like a strong person.
2006-06-29 02:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about all the pain your going trhough. Obviously your son is old enough that he isnt an adult. He needs to be put OFF your property until he decides to get his act together. On the contrary to the first answerer to your question; ADHD CAN be helped with drugs. My son has been on medication for ADHD for almost 3 years and it has been the ONLY thing that has worked for him. Your son needs to seek treatment and get his life in order so you can be able to find peace. Spend as much time as you can with your mother and know that you are only human and can only do and take so much. If you really feel like your going to lose it...seek treatment. G. luck!
2006-06-29 02:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoking pot is probably not the best way to "cope" with TS and ADHD. Even if it helps him, and it very well may help him, it's illegal and could land him in jail.
I choose not to take medication to help control the tics from my Tourette's (TS). But there exists quite a selection of meds to choose from if one really wants/needs them. Check with a neurologist.
As for ADHD....? Yup, I got that too. And I never once took meds for it. And I still managed to graduate in the top 10 of our high school class and earn a 4-year degree in 3 years.
Mind over matter!
2006-06-29 15:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by Rapunzel XVIII 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on yourself and your life. You can't help anyone like your mom or your son when you are tired like this.
You need to rejuvenate your life. i recommend taking a yoga class. You must do something to create joy just in your own life. Yoga is the answer. You can email me at gimpagain@yahoo.com if you want more assistance figuring out how to improve your own life for yourself. Which in the long run means you can come from a position of strength to deal with these other folks who have major life problems.
Your son will decide his own life. One thing is that having marijuana on your property could cause a problem (ie the govt confiscates your property if they find out). You are helping him by giving him a place to be. Which is fine if you want to do that.
2006-06-29 02:53:44 · answer #5 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing, i'm sorry that you have to go through all of this during the time that you should be spending with you mom.
do some research, try to find a rehab clinic in your area. speak to them, tell them what's going on. they should be able to give you info, you may need to do an intervention, and they could help you with that. make sure that you tell them about his affliction, since that is a big factor in his drug use.
and you need to be prepared to wash you hands of him if he choses drugs over you and your family.
go to your family doctor and ask him/her what medications that he could be put on to help him with his tourette's and adhd.
finally, look into getting yourself some help. you're at a breaking point and when you lose your mom, it could push you over the edge. find a grief support group, find yourself a hobby-something especially outside of the home and away from it, if even just for a little bit just so you can gather up who you are and not lose yourself in the things that are going on. me for example, i like to go for long walks in the parks-especially if you have a national park or big park like central park. it gives me a chance to clear my head and think things through without any outside interference.
good luck to you
2006-06-29 02:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by Krazie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother passed away about 18 years ago and my brother was drinking,stealing, and not working himself. He also had ADHD. He was still living with my parents and also with me and my sister when he was kicked out of the house. He would sleep in the basement when he was at my house and do nothing. Oh he would tell me he was working but then I would call his work and find out that he was fired. I guess I can understand your concern, because you love your son and would like to help him. I had to come to a point where I needed to use tough love and tell him to find a place to live and growup. He was not allowed to drink in my house or on my property. I figured that way he couldn't just sit there and drink his life away. He had to do something other then try to forget what was really going on. The facts was that our mother was dying and that he was trying to cover up the hurt with alcohol. Me and my sister talked about what to do and decided that we needed to be with my mother in her last days and tell my brother to get out and be a man and get a job. So we both told him he was not welcome back at our home's until he got a job , stop drinking and stealing and realize that right now my mother needed him to be sober and be there for her as much as we needed him to be there for us.
Tell your son get off his butt get a job and get a life. He needs to find help for his problems and to be there for you when you are going through such a hard time. Tell him to quit thinking about himself and to start thinking about what he is going to do for the rest of his life. I don't like to use this as an example and I hope you don't take it offensively, but maybe using your situation with your mom is a good way to explain to him that you will not always be there for him. Therefore he needs to find a life of his own and a home he can live in to be happy and find someone to love him as much as you do! Tell him that getting his life together will make you proud of him and in his own home he can do anything he wants, but in your home and on your property there a rules that he must live by or hit the road. You have enough worries right now without having to deal with is immatureness.
At this point in time your mother needs you more then your son. He is dealing with his problems in the wrong way and needs to go find help. My brother ended up in a half way house and found out that there was no answers there either. He had to find the answers within himself and decide he was going to live a full and happy life in order to find the love he needed from me and my sister. He is now married and has 4 kids. He makes some mistakes still but his is learning life is not one big party and that he needs to be there for his kids now instead of thinking about himself. In the end your son will learn that he will need someone there to pick him up when he falls flat on his face!!!!!!!!!! I am not a very religious person, but I believe that god helps those that help themselves.
2006-06-29 03:13:42 · answer #7 · answered by star26590 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for your son is to be a role model on how to live a happy life, not to enable him. Be good to yourself while things are in an upset, it will show him that he needs to learn to be good to himself.
2006-06-29 02:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by rachel_waves 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get him Out of the yard, and tell him to grown up! ADHD, and Tourtettes are NOT helped by illegal drugs!
2006-06-29 02:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check him into a rehab. Turn to God, he listens and is waiting for you to ask him for his help!
2006-06-29 02:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by Thomas G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋