Every time there is a family event, I am the outcast and it's sickening. I sit there and no one really acknowledges me unless I speak up first. How should I deal with that?
2006-06-29 01:46:58 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That happened to me at one time and my solution was easy... I just stopped going to those functions and when the in-laws started to get bent out of shape that I no longer attended... I just told them why. They invited me to attend another function, but I told them to get bent. Wifie didn't like it... but too bad. Gee maybe that's why I got divorced.
2006-06-29 01:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by RAllen1st 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost everyone has had this type of situation. Continue to attend the family functions but don't expect everyone to except you immediately. It could take years of just getting used to a new person in the family. Don't ignore them or give them the same attitude. Just make sure you at least say hello to each person their. Eventually it will get around the family that you are always so sweet at the family parties. The last thing you want to do is not attend. As your family grows and you start to put kids through school and marriage his and your family will be an important part of their life. Don't rob them of this because you feel uneasy early on in your families relationship.
2006-06-29 02:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by tman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try and talk to them and tell them how you feel, that you are a part of the family now and there is nothing they can do to change that. If they still give you trouble then just don't visit them at all. They will be losing out in the long run!
2006-06-29 01:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i go through the exact same thing and the worse is that they speak a language i cant even understand. U dont have to deal with it. Just dont speak with any of them and i personally avoid anything to do with them in future events. Just be cool. I totaly understand you!
Cheers.
2006-06-29 01:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by Chica Loca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband take up for you, or let you be abused while he just stands there? A REAL MAN will always demand respect for his wife, and will NEVER make her attend any events - family or otherwise - where she will be disrespected. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether your husband is a REAL MAN or not. My mother had the same problem with my father, who turned out to be a spineless wimp when it came to dealing with his birth family. It led to their divorce.
2006-06-29 02:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by In Honor of Moja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, my Husband's family is just like that. But all I do is stick next to my Husband. It used to be before my Husband and I got married, no one in his whole family excepted me, all they did was ignore me, now they have excepted it. So stick with it, I am sure they will except you as part of the family.
It's a good thing I didn't marry my Husband for his family lol. But be nice, that way, they have no reason not to like you. Good Luck!!
2006-06-29 01:57:13 · answer #6 · answered by JenniferSue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you tell your husband how you feel? I would just not go. If they want to treat you that way, then why waste your time? How long have you been married? I'd say, let your husband know how you feel, tell him that you are not going to put up with being treated this way. If he can't be a man and stick up for you with his family then hell with him. I'd make other plans when they have stuff going on. Good luck honey. Don't let them treat you this way.
2006-06-29 01:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax and read your favorite magazine. Stop expecting to be recognized or acknowledged or accepted. Just be cheery and present. Don't expect anything from them. I went through this for years wishing my hubby's family would accept me as a human being. They never did and now i see how silly it was for me to want/insist on that. Stop hoping they will accept you. Just bring your knitting and wait for them to come talk to you. If they don't, then so what. Just enjoy yourself without being frustrated by how they act.
2006-06-29 01:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should try a bit harder to help you with this, have you mentioned that it bothers/annoys you? Also try asking your in-laws or someone else at the gatherings if they need help with a chore, it doesn't have to be cooking try something you might enjoy. I have found If you try to relate, communicate and cooperate with someone(as with a chore or task)even strangers will seem like relatives.
2006-06-29 02:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by igɳo★ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat them the same way. They ask you a question...get up say nothing and walk away! Use that female attitude to get your point across. If your husband does not defend you then you need to put him in place too!
I'm not one for taking people's crap so I let them have it! Hell, they already don't like me, so what do I have to lose.
2006-06-29 02:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by sammyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋