The Cancer is in his bowel and altho there is an operation that he can undertake, he will not be having the operation as it is too risky for him, the problem is my nanna is having a hard time dealing with it and although i am there for her and have told her so (i have been to the hospital every day) i was just wondering if anybody knows of anything else i can do to make her feel better or to maybe put her mind at rest a little bit. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
2006-06-29 01:37:07 · 17 answers · asked by sugarbabe180 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
I am so sorry to hear that. I know what you are going through. Both of my grandfathers died from cancer (lung) and there was nothing they could do about it. As far as your nanna is concerned, it's only going to take time. I don't know if you are religious or not, but sometimes just a prayer and hug is all it takes. It's sweet that you are there with her and you really are doing more than you realize. I'm sure she appreciates it greatly. It's not something that's easy and quick to get over. Just sit by her and let her talk to you if she needs to. You and your family have my greatest sympathy and prayers.
2006-06-29 01:45:02 · answer #1 · answered by Megara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being with your Nanna as much as possible and talking with her on the phone will be very precious to her in the coming days.
Another very important thing you can do is relieve her at the bedside. Loved ones often wear themselves out by not going home and getting any rest. They are afraid something will happen while they are gone and their spouse will be alone. She will be more likely to go home and relax a little if someone she trusts is with her husband.
Make sure your Nanna is eating too. You can't make her not worry, but you can at least help her not to make herself sick from exhaustion and not eating.
Check with your local American Cancer Society to find out if there is a cancer support group near you. These groups provide wonderful support for not only the patient, but the family as well.
Good luck to you.
2006-06-29 01:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh bless you.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
Your nanna is having to face losing her life partner, and I'm afraid that nothing you can say or do, is going to make her feel any better.
Trust me, Simply being there for her is enough.
If you feel that you must 'do' something (and we all feel this way - it's the sense of helplessness) offer her help around the home, with the shopping etc if you can, or with anything that you've noticed may be slipping. Often the focus is so full on the one thing that so much else slides that she is either unaware of or simply unable to face.
A friend of mine used the time to put together a special memories album which included photos of all the people who were still around for that person, to remind them that they weren't alone.
Sadly there are no words of comfort I can offer you. It very much depends on your Nanna's beliefs. It really depends on your age whether or not you can simply ask her what she thinks will happen and take it from there.
Good luck x
2006-06-29 01:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get help and literature from a charity called Cancer Bacup - They have an office at Mount Vernon Hospital, Northwood, Middx.
Is the operation too risky, or is the hospital trying to take the easy course of action for them, and save money. This happens all too frequently, so sometimes you need to get really 'pushy' with the doctors.
Good luck.
2006-06-29 01:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is dying it's very hard to handle. Being that this is your grandfather, they have probably been married a long time and she may be scared to be alone after he is gone.
I know it's easy to say to just be there for her, but that is the best you can do. Make sure she can get to the hospital every day too so she can spend time with him.
Talk with them. Bring out memories...especially questions that he may be the only one that can answer. Remind them of things they did with you that you enjoyed..memories can be so sweet.
Take some pictures of them together and also with you. Let them both know how much you love them.
You are being a wonderful granddaughter by visiting them every day and for asking for help for your grandmother.
Just being there, sitting there, putting your arm around them or giving them a kiss is some relief so they know they are not alone in this. It's very hard to do for you too. Make sure you have someone to talk to about all of this too.
Blessings!
2006-06-29 03:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by 317bossyaussie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. The thing is there is no 'right way' to be at this time. Your nan is shocked and upset and sad and that is a normal reaction. 'Being strong' and holding yourself together is not really but we all cope differently, some by apparently 'not coping' at all. I am sure that you being there is a help, people may turn to God, to family or to a stranger at such times. 'Professionals' can help; if she is not sleeping, medication can help in the short term, counsellors can aid with the grieving process but there is no way to stop her suffering and feeling pain however much you want to because just as if she slammed her hand in the door, this hurt is real and must be felt and expressed and neither you or she should be afraid of it.
2006-06-29 01:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is offer your support (and prayers if you're into that). You can always do things like cleaning, laundry and shopping to lighten the load for her, I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated. Spend time with both of them, just let them know you love them. I don't think you can say anything to put her mind at rest or take away the shock and pain but by doing the things I mentioned above you will reduce her workload giving her the chance to be with your Grandad and also rest.
Good luck to you all.
2006-06-29 01:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by ehc11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get in touch with (or find on the web) Cancer Backup for information about cancer and it's different treatments, or with Macmillan, who offer both information and support services.
Being more informed about your grandad's disease and the treatment options available may help ease her mind, but be aware it might make her concerns worse.
You won't ever stop her worrying about her husband, who obviously is very ill, all you can really do is be there and offer your support when she needs it.
Try the following (sorry, I don't know how to make them a link).
www.cancerbackup.org.uk
www.macmillan.org.uk
2006-06-29 01:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there to support her.
Its amazing how much that friendly arm around the shoulder can help.
I went through the same 10 years ago when my dad died from cancer my mom was a mess and all i could do was be there for her when she needed me.
You can handle this i have faith in you.
Will keep you in my thoughts.
2006-06-29 01:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by MoJoJoJo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot put her mind at ease. She is going to lose her husband. Just say your prayers and stay with her to help her with things that may need to be done. It will not be easy.
God bless you for being such a caring granddaughter.
2006-06-29 01:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋