Help! 3 yr. old is telling tall tales How can I stop her?

Question

My 3 yr old is lying telling her Grandma that she was spanked hard by me and then turning around and telling me her Grandma spanked her and made her butt hurt. Right now it's ok because it's family but what if it is a Dr. or school teacher? I do not beat my kid, she very rarely gets more than a time out, someone please Help! I don't know how to get her to stop because she doesn't realize the whole picture where she can be hurt or someone else will be. Any parents or people experienced with kids, please give me some advice.

Answer 1

The child is simply exhibiting a behavior adults often engage in after divorce: pitting one side against the other. She is out to see how far she can push the bill before someone calls her out. She's looking for a reaction from one or the other of you so she knows which is the "more sympathetic" party for when she wants something. At four years old, this child is pushing you to set boundaries for her. You say she rarely gets even a timeout. I'm not saying to spank her, but show her the limitations. Tell her that you know that she is not telling the truth, and make sure Grandma says the same thing when she goes telling tales to Grandma. Letting her know that you are not going to let her lie to you will start setting boundaries that she will continue to carry with her as she grows.

Good luck!

Answer 2

My 3 1/2 year old daughter is exactly the same. She is getting that good at telling lies, that I start to believe her even when the lie is about me.

She told me the other day that I made the mess on the floor and daddy should shout at me. I sat there and watched her make the mess!

This is all just part and parcel of being a kid. I have 3 children and they all went through the lying stage, although admittedly, my youngest has it down to a fine art (probably after being coached by my older 2)

Anyway, if she does it in front of someone and it embarrasses you, try to make a joke out of it and explain what a little liar she is. Most people know what kids are like.

Good luck. She will grow out of it.

Answer 3

This is a toughie. My 3.5 year old has just started telling things that I know are untrue, and has also said things to me like, "remember when daddy spanked me this morning?"- and I know that he was still in bed when my husband left for work, and he hadn't gotten a spanking from anyone! Kids at this age have a tough time distinguishing between reality and fantasy, and most outgrow it.
My best advice is to just emphasize the importance of telling the truth, and take every opportunity you can to talk to her about the differences between real and imagined things. I think it's wonderful for kids to be allowed to be creative and use their imagination, but the mind is something that your child needs to learn to control, just like her emotions or physical urges. By all means, listen to her when she talks, you don't want to shut her down and risk her not telling you should (God forbid) something bad ever happen to her that you really need to know about. But, also, try not to overreact when she tells a whopper. If she *is* just telling stories for kicks, not getting any results might be enough to get her to move on to other things. ;)

Answer 4

At her age, she is going to really lay into you with seeing what she can get away with. She sees how you act, how Grandma reacts to such 'news' etc. So why would she say that?

Teaching a child to not lie. That's what you want to research. Whenever a child lies, even a little one, you need to pull them aside and tell her that we do not lie. It's bad to lie. Then you, as a parent, want to be sure you are not TEACHING this behavior. For example, the phone rings and dh says it's for you. DD hears you say "Tell them I'm not here." You just taught your dd to lie. Or perhaps Grandma says to dd "You can have a cookie, don't tell Mommy. It's a secret between us!" Then gm taught her to lie and keep secrets.

It's a tender age where the things you do really, really matter.

.

Answer 5

that's hilarious, before each little thing. i imagine, besides the undeniable fact that, at this factor, you're going to ought to frighten your baby a touch through letting her do not ignore that the subsequent time it takes position, baby conserving amenities would easily confirm to trust her and by no skill you (or her for that matter at the same time as she "recants"), and would opt for to take her away. at the same time as scaring a baby isn't something i'd frequently recommend, i imagine your difficulty demands it. you may want to also favor to attempt a once a week "tall-thoughts hour" the position your of direction smart daughter is stimulated to invent a narrative, with the interest that she will be able to no longer accomplish that everywhere else. you may want to also invite like-minded little ones over to do an same.

Answer 6

My 4 yr old does the same thing...However anytime we go somewhere, and she needs to go potty, on our way to the restroom she says, "Mommy, please don't spank me"..She, like your child RARELY gets her hiney popped, I get more done by putting her nose on the wall..My daughter also told her pedi that she fell out of an airplane but she didn't have a parachute...She tells some very TALL tales....
I guess they grow out of it..I hope so anyway

Answer 7

Lying is not something you just "grow out of". She needs to have a consequence for every time she tells a lie- like her favorite toy is taken away, or she can't have dessert.
Once she realizes you're serious about not lying, she'll quit doing it.

Answer 8

I don't have kids, nor have I ever raised them. But if it were me, I would try telling her that if she keeps on doing it, mommy will be taken away from her.
At that age, no kid wants that to happen, and I think they will understand it.

I would also explain to her that that is a lie, and make sure she knows what a lie is.

Answer 9

OK when i used to spread ''Fibs'' and my mom didn't like it she used to tell me if i was good and didn't lie she would do something nice for me or give me something nice and buy me something and if that doesn't work and she keeps on doing it and keeps on doing it just tell her I'm gonna get mad and i might put spicy in our mouth if u tell anymore lies out of it darling ...........just try it and if it doesn't work write to me and say it didn't work and ill tell u something else and tell her the magical lying fairy will come and give u something bad that u wont like ....like taking Ur dolls and toys or just simply doing bad things that will scare u .....and if that doesn't work ask me and tell me it didn't work and ill come AGAIN''! and tell u more solutions so c ya !!

p.s. I hope it works with u !

Answer 10

Lies are often used to draw attention to something. Cant she feel lonely, or uncared?

At her age kids usually lie, they think they are telling the truth. Unfortunately you can't do anything, but there is hope: she will stop sooner or later.

Good luck and take my sympathy.