Why do some Christian(or others) husbands abuse their wives.?

Question

I know in Corinthians bible it defines the roles of the husband and the wives. However I have come across some things that are desturbing. There are a lot of ministers or laymen who abuse their spouses who claim it is their right as husbands. Can someone please address this. I guess my real question is What is the real meaning of the marriage chapters? Please serious answers only (this is a real problem)

Answer 1

Oh my goodness, you've certainly hit a raw nerve within Christianity.

The simple explanation is this: many Christian husbands never learned from their fathers God's plan for the relationship between a husband and wife. They only look at the passages pertaining to a wife's behavior and turn a "blind eye" toward those that govern their own behavior.

Many who read Paul's writings on marital relationships overlook several key concepts:

"Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."

Important concept #1: husbands are to love their wives EXACTLY as Jesus loves His church. That means a husband is to:

1) die for her, if necessary;
2) forgive her for anything she repents from;
3) ensure she is following sound Biblical doctrine;
4) nurture and care for her, placing her needs BEFORE his own.

Important concept # 2: Husbands are to love their wives exactly as they love themselves. Many men get into trouble here because they DO NOT love themselves (in a Godly way); therefore, they are not capable of giving true love to a woman.

Important concept # 3: It is completely unscriptural that ONLY wives must submit to "their own husbands." Ephesians 5:21 requires that we all begin "submitting to one another in the fear of God." One (male) theologian I know of says, "If a husband is not submitting to his wife more than she submits to him, he's not doing it right." I agree, as long as the submission is Godly -- i.e. a husband should never submit to a wife's desire to do ungodly things, but that's an exception.

Important concept # 4: 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." That means that any "Christian" husband who fails to support his family (after honestly trying) and abuses his position as spiritual head of that household will NOT be held blameless before God.

I hope this helps.

Peace and love in Jesus.

Answer 2

I am not a thological expert or anything, but in the Bible, in 1st Peter chapter 3 it says,"Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe in the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives..." And if you move back up to chapter 2 verse 18, it says, " Slaves, yield to the authority of your masters with all respect...(skipping to verse 20)" If you are beaten for doing wrong, there is no reason to praise you for being patient in your punishment..."


A lot of times people (including pastors, preachers, priests, laymen) read the Bible and come up with self-interpretations of what it's saying. The problem is that a lot of times we all misinterpret the Bible and take things completely out of context. If some men skip around, as I showed you, and read and interpret only certain verses, then that's when the problems begin. It is a rule in many households, that the men rule the house, and women submit to them.Based on the selected verses at the top, I am guessing this is why some men feel they can be abusive to their wives if they feel like it.


A lot of things (laws, etc) in the Bible do not even pertain to us to this day. Like in the book of Exodus. Most of those rules and laws were for the Israelites. We don't sacrafice rams and goats, and stuff like that today (for the most part).


I'm not going to take up a whole bunch more space attempting to answer what the real meaning of the marriage chapter is, but I looked it up and I (hopefully) can sort of lead you to the answer to that. If you could go to http://www.bibletruths.net/Archives/BTAR185.htm
that might help you. I hope it does. Please remember I'm not an expert, I must be honest with you, but I hope I did help some.

Answer 3

Summed up in one word, the Bible teaches Love. Abuse is not love, it is a sin. Anything within the marriage covenant that isn't based on love, is a sin.

Since ALL Christians are sinners, some will commit the sin of spouse abuse. (Why are some people so surprised when Christians sin?)

The question should be "How does one get a sinner to stop sinning?" There's no easy answer here. Only the sinner can choose (free-will) to stop sinning.

Sometimes it's necessary for one to make a deliberate effort to remove themselves from an occasion of sin. Sometimes the victim has to take measures to remove the temptation...an abused spouse moves out or the friend of an alcoholic dumps the booze down the drain.

This doesn't change the sinner, though. It might prevent him from repeating the sin in one instance...but ultimately it's got to be the sinner's decision to stop.

Answer 4

Well, there are a lot of men who abuse their wives but claiming that it is their right as a husband to do so is phenomenally absurd. Once again, this confirms to me and should to others that radical religious people are crazy. I could go on further but this has inspired me to ask my own questions to these religious fanatics that will drive them nuts. I don't have a problem with religion, some questions, but no problems until it comes to people like you are speaking of. They are just as bad as the small percentage of radical Muslims that ruin peoples lives through terrorist attacks. No, they are not killing people but they are messing with peoples minds and in the case of abuse, are ruining that persons good life that they could have had. Bad people man, bad people.

Answer 5

People abuse others because of fear and insecurity. If they were not afraid and insecure there would be no reason for the abuse. Fear and insecurity make the illogical act of abusing another seem temporarily to be the logical thing to do. It never is. The only logical way to treat others is with compassion and love.

Answer 6

It is a lie from the pit of hell that any man christian or otherwise has the right to abuse their spouse.

This only means they have not yet been delivered by God from their weakness. Nowhere in the bible does God give that right to a man.

Answer 7

Abusing people,animal or whatever has got nothing to do with religions or beliefs. I think this is more of men showing their ego. No man/woman has the right to abuse another human being.

Answer 8

The man is head of his wife the way Christ is head of the Church.
Christ does NOT abuse His church. Christ does NOT belittle His Church. Christ does NOT treat His church as a doormat If a man abuses his wife, or belittles her, or walks all over her, then he is not treating her the way God wants him to.
A man must love his wife, a woman respect her husband.
This goes both ways - as a wife, you need to respect your husband posistion as head of the house. You need to allow him part of decisions, and be willing to allow him the final decision. He, one the other hand, must love you through everything.

Answer 9

With apologies, just a damned Pagan here, but my experience with christian zealots votes for Nora D's answer. They interpret their male superiority by choosing to read into their bible that which they cannot achieve with their own limited capacity.

Answer 10

I think it is because they believe they have every right over their wives, even the right to abuse them