how come there are so many people on here and otherwise saying how they could never be unfaithful and that they are so in love with their significant other...but yet there are so many people that are cheating and/or being dishonest about their relationship? it seems like so many people say they want to be in a straight forward, monogamous relationship without all the bs and games but yet its so hard to get that. why??? my boyfriend/fiance just up and decided he didnt want this relationship anymore after years of being together and talking about marriage and him saying he was ready to put all the bs behind us and be together. im having a really hard time dealing with this. not to mention we are 28 and had known each other since childhood. i just dont understand it.
2006-06-29 00:24:51 · 14 answers · asked by MsNic 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let me clarify...we have known each other since childhood but we didnt get into a commited relationship until our early 20s. he had already been out there exploring, he came to me saying he was ready to settle down.
2006-06-29 01:21:52 · update #1
Adult relationships are difficult. And I guess it goes without saying that people can get scared. But maybe it's a cop out. I mean I'd love to believe that people value relationships, but it's tough to even say that without looking at all the marriages entered into hastily and all the infidelity that goes on in those relationships. Young adults have problems with knowing what's real and what's not. And sometimes the things that we believe to be "real love" is just infatuation and sometimes it's just a front. But with your situation I don't even see how that could possibly be. I mean you guys knew each other since childhood. But I will say this: men do like to explore. And sometimes our "need" to see what's out there can get in the way of us having a good thing. So I understand the difficulty you may have dealing with, especially a fiance, leaving so suddenly. My wish for you, however, is to have happiness and find peace with whatever comes of this situation, whether it's your fiance coming to his senses or if it's you moving on to something better. Chin up and smile big.
2006-06-29 00:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by let_it_be_known1981 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I can see. People start out way too young to form a relationship - not allowing time to look around and develope likes and dislikes. They limit their options. Everyone thinks they have to have a partner and so they find one. Mostly by physical attraction alone. The term dating has changed through the years. now a date means you go out with your partner. But that is not what dating use to be. Dating was going out with many different people. Sometimes in a group and sometimes one on one. But it wasn't meant to be a beginning to a relationship but more to find out about other people. The kids today think just because we went out for dinner we are now a couple and that is so wrong. They say they do not like the rules set by adults because they are to restricting but then they waste no time in restricting themselves.
How it use to be was you went out with several different people and learned likes and dislikes all through jr. high. started narrowing it down while in high school and perhaps becoming a little more involved and maybe becoming boy/girl friend - taking a few years to just enjoy each other and seeing if love has made it's way to your heart. learning that maybe this may be the person I would love to marry and have children with and grow old together. Then you get engaged and years ago this usually took anywhere from 3 to 5 years. Taking this long to have a good job and money in the bank and be mature enough to know that you can handle it.
Now a days it is have a boyfriend by the age 10 or 12 have sex by 14 marry by 18 and usually already have a child. find out life sucks and is too hard by 20. end up in a bitter break-up and on the Jerry Springer show by 22.
What they don't understand is life can suck but it was because the pressure they gave themselves at such a young age is what caused it to suck.
If life sucks it is only because you rushed through things trying to have it all sooner than it is possible and can only end up with you falling on your ***.
I dont know why yours didnt work because I do not know you or your story but could it had been that you formed your relationship and limited your choices way too soon and rather it be you or him thought I could do better?
2006-06-29 01:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question to answer since everyone has particular reasons why they leave...
All I know is that there are many people out there looking for a relationship (looking to marry) without the BS and games, cheating, etc... Love is a risk, you give it all you have and sometimes it just gets thrown back to your face and it hurts so bad.
You can't give up, just take the time to heal and get back out there. I think you should talk to him and ask him what happened, just so you know and put your mind at ease. There is always a reason...
But don't doubt about finding someone out there that wants exactly what you want. There is and plenty of it, you just have to be patient and don't settle for the first thing that comes along. And make sure you study them well...
Good luck girl, you will find it...
2006-06-29 00:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by Milkywayman22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sickness, un-satisfied desires are there 600-700 crores on this earth in the form of human being. You and your boyfriend are one among them. You want him for your satisfaction. Once you get him, will you be content? no...you want more of him or a changed him or other than him. This goes on and on in you and in him. Those who are able to put a full stop somewhere leads a peaceful life, other gets carried away with desires. Hope now you are able to understand a bit.
2006-06-29 00:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by r_govardhanam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has a point in their lives when they want to find out who they really are and go out and experience new things. Like you said, you are really all he knows and he wants to see if things are any better on the other side. In a few months or years he will probably not be happy with his decision, but right now he feels like it is best for him.
2006-06-29 00:29:19 · answer #5 · answered by Angels girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after reading what you wrote, Ive been there done that, but it seems sometimes people hurts other people feelings when they don't know what they want and they are usually scared off by the seriousness of marriage or commitment which suck, but you sound like a nice person and wish you good luck in finding someone who is worth it
2006-06-29 00:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by xr5turbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now misnic men are ***** i know i am one.not all men are tarred with the same brush but most are.
there will be plenty of people who would love a great person like yourself.this is his problem.the grass always looks greener the other side of the fence until you get there.
better off looking for mr right
p.s i am one of those nasty cheating bas#ta$ds
2006-06-29 00:30:10 · answer #7 · answered by jibber_wibber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for me i thought & said the exact same thing .. that i'd never cheat on my bf .. never do anything with a guy who has a gf .. but i did.. and i felt really bad about it .. sometimes when ur in the situation you just can't control what you do .. even though it's wrong ..
2006-06-29 00:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by carla h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sound like to me that u need a real man in your life not just any man but a man that could love u right not just your body but mind and soul not trying to mrgr8 leave that hotdog and come be with this steak.
2006-06-29 00:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by mrgr8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are people who separate after 30 years. at one point it just doesn't work any more. you have to move on and live your life with someone else. it's YOU who matters after all.
2006-06-29 00:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by europe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋