the kid never met his father since birth until now when on vacation.
2006-06-28 23:28:31 · 10 answers · asked by DruNkStripPeR 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
his dad knows that he's got a kid but when the girl was still pregnant with their child, they decided that it was best for them (and their kid) that they'll part ways because of too many reasons and complications going on between them.
2006-06-29 21:52:19 · update #1
You know your son best, but I will say this. Children are incredibly resilient, and open to change- if that change is presented as a good thing. In fact, I'm willing to bet that your son won't really find going from "friend" to "daddy" as that big of a leap. One question though- is the father open to being known as his daddy? I'm not advocating that you hide this fact from your son just because the father is iffy; I think that the sooner you tell him the better, regardless. But, knowing how the father plans to react will make a big difference in how casually you present it to him.
If it were me, and the father is ready to play a bigger role, then I would flat out tell my son that xxx is his father, and what does he think of that? Leave plenty of room for your son to talk about it. If the father is not so willing to be involved, and this vacation meeting was a chance crossing or something, then I would still tell him, but maybe in less casual terms than "xxx is your daddy!".
Best wishes to all of you though. In my experience with my oldest son (3.5 yrs old), and children I used to watch in daycare, around age 3 to 4 years old is when most boys seem to start really itching for a Daddy or other strong male presence in their lives. This could be really good timing for him.
2006-06-29 01:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him, he's only 4 and it'll be a shock, but he'll snap right out of it and want to play, wait til he's older and you'll have some maturing emotions running rampant. My son's grandpa died while he and I were on a special trip to see the old guy. the call came, I stopped the car and told him. He loved his Grandpa like no one else could, but he was fine by the time we turned around to go back home. He was 4 and now is 8 and still talks about that day, but he's a happy kid.
2006-06-29 06:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by obitdude2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your son have any other 'daddy' in his life (your boyfriend, husband, etc)? Does this guy want to have a relationship with your son? This is a good time to settle this issue since he is 4. He is old enough to grasp the concept, but not overreact. If there is any possibility that the guy will be in your son's life (even briefly) you must be honest with your son -- it will be a whole lot worse if it accidentally slips out later on. You can (and probably will have to) explain more in detail as he gets older. But for now, he is only 4 and he IS old enough to grasp the information. Good Luck & God Bless!!
2006-06-29 13:02:20 · answer #3 · answered by GP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 year old are very receptive to change . HE will accept it and as he already considers him his friend he will willingly accept it.
The moot point is is the father willing to accept your boy as his own? The reason I am asking is that if the baby's father is not willing to accept your boy and you tell your son who his father is the boy will be very badly hurt. That will scar him for life. So, if the boy's father is willing to accept his responsibilities towards your son, just go ahead and tell him. If not, let him just enjoy his friend, later on when you do tell him about his dad at least he will have some good recollections about his friend.
I hope for the very best for your son and you. God Bless.
2006-06-29 06:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son! the guy you considered as your friend is actually your father!
2006-06-29 06:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u should start asap so he knows who his dad is it helps if the dad wants to be in his life but if not dont lie about it it will bite u in the *** later unless hes a supper *** hole
2006-06-29 06:35:47 · answer #6 · answered by bsbb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about it so much, kids are great and he'll handle it just fine. i believe that it's better while he's young. just let him know how much you both love him, of course! kids feel the love!
2006-06-29 08:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by thundakat312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he thinks of him as a friend
he must like him
do it as a surprise somehow
like sweety guess what? I have a surprise for you yay!
you know....
or wait until hes older
2006-06-29 06:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by s3v3n_sh4d3s_0f_blu3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear firstly you have explain your child about what does the word 'father' means.
2006-06-29 06:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by bubbly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i feel for you. I have no idea he is so small.
2006-06-29 06:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋