Should I just give up?

Question

I live in London and have been looking for a woman to go out with for a serious relationship for about a year. I never looked before, because my parents didn't allow me to date. I am now 23 and am still at university and plan to study more, but I can't meet any good-looking, sophisticated and intelligent women that don't drink or smoke. I know I couldn't go out with anyone else. The problem is, I can't seem to meet any women like this! Do you think I should just give up and accept the fact that all the good women already have boyfriends?

Answer 1

Well, I've just read your answer to another question, where you said that most women in the UK are selfish losers. That attitude is probably the reason you aren't meeting any women, mate.

Answer 2

To me, it's ok to ask for a good-looking, sophisticated, and intelligent woman. Especially if you're at a university in London, this should be feasible.

However, what do you mean by 'not smoking', and 'not drinking'. This seems to exclude at least 90% of the women at your age.... Do you mean 'no alcohol at all' by 'not drinking', or do you mean 'binge drinking'?

From the way you describe your situation, I get the impression that you are a nice guy, but you seem to have rather strict expectations about potential candidates...

You might think about relaxing your expectations. What one often finds with relationships is that what you see at first glance is not what you get. Also, 'smoking' and 'drinking' are usually phases in life that go away after a while.

Note that it's a well known phenomenon that women look at their best when they are happy in heir relationship. That might explain why you think that all the 'good women' already have boyfriends.

My advice to you is: relax a little bit more, ask yourself where your expectations come from, and don't exclude women as potential partners who don't meet all your criteria, but who you enjoy being with.

Answer 3

Hey Sun, I hear what you're saying! (not women though, birds don't do a lot for me being a girl!)

I think you need to stop looking, someone will turn up when you least expect it, that's what happened to me with my 'first love' (ahhhh!).

Most people are just trash now anyway, I know that sounds harsh but it's true, there's so much deceit and cheating etc I, it makes me wonder: Are there any faithful and decent people with morals left?

Because I'm having a find time believing that looking at the amount of lying and sneaking going on around me.

You're an intelligent bloke, I'm sure there is an equally intelligent woman for you!

By the way, I hear on the parents and dating thing! I'm Turkish Cypriot and to be attracted to a bloke is like a crime or something!

Answer 4

no no never give up or settle for less than you deserve...this is probably y ur parents didnt want u to date they know that the women of today r not the way women use to be or the way ladies should behave, they hoped that when ur older n start dating you will be mature enough not to get involved w/ just any thing in a g-string but be selective and full of morals the way u r right now....the stereotyped blonde hair size 0 blue eyed girls are gonna be popular hence they get invited to more parties drink, become promiscuous (some not intentionally) since every guy wants them..y dont u look for someone who has similar interests like you, who has goals and is in school not just b/c they were told to go..if not ur 23 n have years ahead.besides less headache just do good in school n they will be flocking u,,, everyone wants a successful man

Answer 5

Never give up. Maybe you cant find someone because you are looking to hard and in the wrong places. Its usually when you stop looking you find what you want. At you university is a good place to start tho, there are plenty women who you could have things in common with. Start with people doing the same courses as you, start of lightly by making conversations with them so you can get an insight into what that person is like. If there are any clubs around, find one that you would be interested in and get to know the people that are interested in the same things as you. Even if you don't find someone there, you will be making new friend and they will have friends of their own who you can be introduced to and who knows, you might come across the girl for you. By making your circle of friends bigger you will find yourself meeting new people and exploring new things.

Answer 6

I dont think london is a very good place to try and find ur ideal women, it city that never sleeps, open 24 hours, so of course with all the hype and socialising ur not going to find a women who doesnt smoke or drink.

I think u will deffinatly find a women that doesnt smoke as now a days smoking is being banned everywhere but i doubt u will find a women that is tee total, couldnt u compromise and find a women who drinks occionally? i think one of ur main problems is that u are in uni and unfortunitly smoking and drinking comes with that, why dont u join a local gym? most places do discounted prices for students, or join library? u never know who might go there!

hope that helps......

Answer 7

u cannot manage to do two things at a go thats why u can't find her .stury after studying then go for it u will find that 100% perfect woman there, so never give up u are too young to do that!!

Answer 8

if you have that character, that personality, you will attract the people you want, good people attract positive energy, bad people attract negative energy. so my thing is, dont look for the people you want, they will come to you when youre not trying. i met my bf of 4 years in the last place a person would search for a 'good' guy, a bar and i wasnt even in search of one.

keep your positive thoughts well inside of you and the girl you will want will come to YOU when you least expect it.

Answer 9

chill man! you know neither the time or the place where or when the right woman will come along. dont give up but dont get all worried about it. enjoy your college life , you'll have more important things to worry about soon when you leave

Answer 10

Does that mean you are a virgin then??!!
Seriously, don't give up there are some lovely ladies out there looking for the same thing as you.
Good luck!

Answer 11

Yes,all the good looking fella and all the sexy girls are all matched up wit each other so ye i'd might give up!