Mum wants me out at 16-i try so hard 2 be th best daughter i can,bt its never gd enough for her-what can i do?

Question

My mum is depressed, argues with everyone around her including myself, and refuses to take any advice from anyone. She constantly argues with my dad, & not just banter- the situation is often extremly hostile and even frightening. I really want to help her,but she is so sour and bitter at the moment, she takes it all out on the whole family, manipulating us all and threatening suicide and divorce. Desipte this all, my dad still refuses one. Mum blames me for her sadness and blames me for corrupting her relationship with my dad,and has told me several times that she wants me out of the house at 16.As i am only 15,this scares me so much,i feel so alone sometimes as i have no-one to talk to about it, and not many close friends.I have no respect for her as she has made my life hell, she avoids any social situations as much as she can, and she tells me she wants to bash me up, although she never actually does.I know she hates me, but i dont know what iv done so wrong- what can i do?

Answer 1

What country are you in?

You mum is mentally ill and needs help, it is not a reflection on you and you should try not to feel bad about it.

Talk to your dad about it first.

If you still think you will turfed out at 16, and/or the situation is intolerable, Social Services or the relevant govt. agency will look after you, but you should approach them now before you turn 16 otherwise it gets harder. Either phone them direct or you could approach a youth awarness programme or even a teacher you respect at your school.

Answer 2

I feel for you and believe it or not I know exactly what you are experiencing.
My mom was the same. I was thrown out at 15 for not cleaning the cat litter pan. I did move back for a couple years only to regret it. But I stayed for my little sister as long as I could tolerate it.
I had no father though. You do. You NEED to have a talk with dad.
If your mom is threatening suicide your father can have her commited. She needs mental help!
The fact that your mom blames you is probably because she is jelous of you and your happiness. Jelousy is an evil thing. It causes people to do and say things to hurt others. That is the only way they can feel good about themselves and that is a shame.
Mental illness does not go away on its own. In fact it will get worse. I wouldn't doubt that she may hit you.
My mom threatened me many times. Though she never harmed a hair on my head, she did do it to my little sister. Many times.
Unfortunately I was there to see it or help sis.
If your mom never gets help then do leave. You can request support by going to child wealfare. In fact it may be a good idea to pay them a visit even now.
Are there any family members you can stay with? How about a close friend? Heck, no place to go come stay with me.
What you are going through is child abuse. It is mental abuse, but physical scars heal much quicker than the emotional ones. So you are actually getting the worst kind. It took me years to be able to have any kind of friendship with my mother after all that crap she put me through.
However, she is now on medications that are helping her. I try to reinforce myself that it was her sickness making her do those things. But, I have a baby and know that I could never, not even on my worst day say or do anything like she did. That makes forgiving very hard.
I was very lucky to have a very loving Granny to come to my aid. I hope you have some one too. But if not feel free to IM me. ANYTIME!

Answer 3

First off your mom CAN NOT put you out at 16. Your still a minor and as such your parents ARE responsible for you until your eight teen. I am having a hard time believing that your dad hasn't stepped in on this matter and come to your defense. That is sad.your mom needs help. I would suggest at this point that you start by getting some counseling.NO, I don't think you need it. But this will be the starting point so as this situation is addressed. Good Luck with this situation as your too youing to be in this mess.

Answer 4

You story sounds just like mine growing up. My mother was the same way. My mother put me out on my 18th birthday. Just know that in spite of what your mother says she does love you. You have done nothing wrong to make her say those crazy things to you. I know first hand how deep that cuts. The best advice I can give you is to stay strong and stay in school so you will be ready to go when the time comes. I hope that your father has a spine and will not let your mother put you out. Besides it's illegal so she can get in a lot of trouble for that. If you need an ear feel free to e-mail me anytime I will try my best to help you through this. I didn't have that choice growing up. Just always remember it's not you.

Answer 5

It sounds like your mother needs professional care and possibly antidepressants. Are there other things going on... drinking, smoking, drug abuse? These can manifest themselves in angry outbursts liek the ones you describe. Often times all the outbursts are directed toward a single member of the family. With proper care, people can recover from depression and/or substance abuse. Try not to take what she says to you personally and find some good friends who will build you up, go to church, or do some other posative activities. Good luck with you mum!

Answer 6

Depression is hard to deal with but you can't make someone get help and if dad is not standing up for you look everywhere you can for someone who will help you and not take advantage of you, I know there are more people like us who are more than willing to help kids in need.
I don't know what it is with adults sometimes [even though I'm one] I have had more kids living with us due to the same problem and my hubby and I only have one child but it seems like every other week one of his friends is tossed out for no good reason. Like you they are good kids who just got a raw deal in the start of life. Stay strong and remember you can only control yourself.

Answer 7

be patient, she is ur mom and maybe she needs therapy for depression, depression is a very cruel disease and she cannot control it alone, talk with ur father or any other member of the family so u can try to get ur mom a good treatment,
be good to her and give her love and support no matter if she shouts at u or cry or whatever,,,just love her, think that someday she will go forever and u will regret if u didnt try hard to help her overcome her problems and give her love.

Answer 8

I'm going through the same thing.I'm only 15,too.
I was kicked out of my mom's house at 14,to live with my friends & their parents.
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I think you need probably need to juss leave.
Talk to one of your friends & see if you can stay with until you find a job.
You're going to be legal working age at 16,it will be okay.
You need to talk to your dad.He doesn't seem to be so violent with you.
Maybe he will be able to help you out with some money until you get a job.
But,honestly,if you have no repsect for her,juss leave.
You don't need to end up hurting yourself.
If she kills her self,it's her own stupidity.

Juss ask a friend about it,make arrangements BEFORE you have to leave,so everything is okay.
Explain the situation to a friend,even if you don't feel comfortable,it will help you.You'll be able to talk to your friend everyday until you can move up & out.

Answer 9

You are a strong young lady to ask for help. You need to call some one who knows how to help you while also helping your parents. I found a phone number called social advocates for youth. They will help you. They can talk to you. It is very important that you tell them your fears and what is going on. I found this phone number in the yellow pages under the social & human services for individuals and families section. You can also call the police any time you are scared. It is your parents job to protect you. Tell your dad you are scared, he should protect you from your mom. If he is unwilling tell some one who will listen. call a social worker, also under the yellow pages. Go to the web and search for help. Pray to God and ask for wisdom and he will lead you to help also. He wll give you strength to deal with your pain. He will comfort you. He can send you who you need to help you. if you know your scholl counselors call one of them at home and tell them, just tell some one, tell a friends parents and ask for help. please don't try to do this your self. You aren't to blame and you need help. I am praying for you and your parents, big hugs to you my friend, T-Bird

Answer 10

you haven't done anything, your mom has a serious problem. it sounds like she needs professional help. if your father won't try to get it for her, there is little you can do. what does your father say about her wanting you out at 16? you might be able to find help through a local church or through state agencies. but above all, it isn't your fault. your mother is a disturbed individual.