Why is it that....?

Question

My friends mom,whom I live with,is always bitching at me?She makes ME do everything when her kids could do it juss as well.I'm about sick and tired of it.And I'm not going back to MY mom for a few more months.I have tried to talk about it to her,but she juss wants to fight and holler.I'm going insane,And i have been cutting because of it.

Did I do something wrong?
How do I fix this problem that is tearing me in two?

I'm 15,alright people?
I dont have a job,its kind of like Foster Care for right now.
But,she has kids.
She shouldn't make ME being the one doing everything for her.
I mean,yes I use her things,like computer,internet,dishes,but my real dad also sends her money to help pay for her house & stuff.
So,I honestly need some help,and telling her is not working.
She is juss b*tching more & its hurting me deep down,because I want to be able to love her for everything she has done,like a rill mom,but I don't feel it.

Answer 1

Buy your own house and stay in your own house. That way you can be the queen of your own castle..

Answer 2

Why don't you go stay with your dad, especially since he is willing to pay someone to keep you?

She might be feeling the pressure of raising someone else's child. Is she a certified Foster Care Home?

Why are you away from your own mom? Is she out of the area for work?

Sometimes people agree to help and then discover too late that they shouldn't have agreed. It ended up being more work than they thought it would be.

Try to find other solutions. If you want to be on the computer, go to the library. Don't ask her to drive you. If there is public transportation, take a bus, walk. Start running or walking long amounts of time. Get out of the house and away from your friend's mother as much as possible. You cannot tell your friend how mean her mother is to you that would only make your life worse.

Talk to a counselor at school when it is back in session, talk to a pastor at your church. Maybe he/she can intercede for you. You would need the help of an adult.

Good Luck

Answer 3

FIRST, BE GRATEFUL THOUGH , AS HARD AS IT MAY SEEM, YOU CAN DO IT.

fORGET yr pride , pride always gets in the way and accomplished nothing.

Second, it does not matter if your dad pays that woman money or not, you are in her house and itss HER HOUSE so she decides what to do.

Dont resent her, she's a human just like you, if you cannot talk to her "nicely" and she still cannot accept to fix things with more "love" there is not much you can do about it but put up with it and until you can move back with your mom.

Did you do something wrong you ask? Only you can answer that one, but it seems that you found yourself at someone else's thatn yr mom's, maybe you did somthing that sent you there and that is the problem .
It's not always nice or easy to look at one's own faults or what not, but one must do it to mature and let others know that you are in control.

THAT IS HOW YOU NOW HAVE TO BEHAVE IFNRONT OF THIS WOMAN YOU LIVE WITH. YOU ARE UNDER CONTROL AND YOU SHOW IT WITH PATIENCE, COOLNESS, CALM. Why bother anymore with feeling hurt?

You show that woman that you really appreciate that she's caring that you are not on the street by yourself and nothing else. RESPECT. You want it? Give it.

What's stunning is to see, "where are the parents?" your mom does not have you at her home and yr dad send s the money fo ryou to be elsewhere.
THAT IS TROUBLESOME MY FRIEND.
I think you are hurt by this type of relation that your parents dont have a good thing going.

I think right there makes all yr hurt appear.

Why not talk to your parents instead?

I think they are in need of a huge pep talk, and I think in this case, you need to be doing the talk too about yr feelings AND TELL THEM ABOUT IT.

As for the woman taking care of you, just be thankful, you could be in a lot worse situation believe it. And then you could have absolutely no help.
Here at least you are being protected in a house, home there are other kids, i mean if she's mean you will be out of her hair really soon. Be respectful to her, and show yr "control". That will make you a better woman and show yr world you are ready to handle life.

But don't forget , talk to yr parents, separately.
Or together.

There is nothing that has no solution. The only one thing that has no solution at all is death.

So go on ahead and solve this problem now. YOu can do it.

Answer 4

Stop the cutting, you need to replace that behavior with a more acceptable way of taking care of your stress. You do need some counseling.. Jog, swim, walk, do crossword puzzles anything but
cutting.
This woman would holler whether you were there or not.
What if you did everything before she asked you.....she would run out of things to yell about.Can you find a place to be during the day or evening so you won't be around to be yelled at?
I have a friend who had a tough situation as a teenager; He read at the library to stay out of the house as much as possible.

You can't change her, but you can change the way you react to her. Take a deep breath and consciously relax your body and go to like a Zen state of mind, almost removing yourself from the situation. What is happening is that she has toxic behavior and she is dumping that on you.

Try to get connected wtih a good church. Someone there might help you or take you in so you have a more peaceful place to live.

Also, promise me that you won't repeat the troubles of the adults
that are around you. Make your generation to be the one to break the cycle of such horrible behavior.
Take good care of yourself.

Answer 5

Personally I think you should be grateful that she lets you stay with her. If you were to leave now where would you be? You need to ask her if you can split up the choirs in the house hold with her kids. Everything will go a lot smoother if you are the bigger person and be mature about the situation. Don't try to prove your self by making things worse for everybody. If you don't like how she runs things then maybe you should think about how it will be if you live with someone else. Things could be worse. Try to have a reasonable conversation with her and talk not fight or yell at each other. Good Luck

Answer 6

first of all i'd like to apoligize if i'm making any bad assumptions since i don't know the whole situation.
i think you should evaluate the situation. why are you living with your mom's friend? does she make you do more work than her own kids? do you pay rent? does it seem as if she's only doing this cause your her friends' kid? it can be various reasons for her to be acting this way. also think about they way you approach her about it. language that says 'you' often will cause the person to be defensive before anything can be said. the best way to approach a person with a problem is to use 'i'. like ' i have been feeling very distressed', just start things with 'i'. from what it seems i doubt that you have done anything to really 'wrong' her in a way that can't be fixed. i also recommend seeing a counselor about the cutting thing. usually it is an issue of how you value yourself. i understand it can be scary but it's worth a shot. you might discover something about yourself that can maybe help you in all aspects of life. hope this helps =)

Answer 7

Hey i have been right where you are now. I would wright her a respectful letter on how you really feel about hte sito. Who can ***** at a peice of paper. it does'nt yell back. Leave the letter with her so that you are not around when she reads it because she will more than likley feel put on the spot if you stand there while she reads it. If this does'nt work swollow your pride next time she goes and has a ***** fit and just say "I Love you, Thank you for all that you do for me" and go about completing the task that she wants you to do. Really dude who is gonna argue with that. Good luck

Answer 8

Please dont cut, its not right to hurt yourself. Cutting has never been the right way to go, I speak from expirence on the subject. Living with under someone elces roof always has its catches. It is nessesary to, well, listen and obey them. I am also under somewhat of the same situation, and there's not much help i can offer, but this: Even though its really hard, just listen to her, and do what she asks. If you do everything she asks, and do it well...she cant whoop and hollar at you. and if she does at least you know its for no reason. A lot of the time the mom will favor her own kids, it also depends on the age, if you are the oldest, you will probably be stuck doing all the stupid annying chores.
She could just be doing it because she feel's you need more responsibility. Whatever the reason, just stick it out. Hold your head up high, and dont cut. Cutting is NOT the way to go, hurting yourself because she hurts you, is basically letting her win. Dont sink down to yelling when she yells, or cussing or anything, be mature about it, do what she asks with out question (even tho it will really suck having to do it) just keep in mind, you'll be out of there in a few months!! You can do it, just hang in there. and once again, please please please dont cut yourself!!
-Good Luck and ps: thanks for the advice on one of my questions...its really helpfull
GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 9

It is still HER home and if you want to live there you have to do so under HER rules. How much does your father send her for your upkeep? As far as the internet you're lucky she allows you on. If you were in MY home you wouldn't be on the internet unless you paid for your own connection. You say you are 15, that is old enough to get a babysitting/dogsitting job, I suggest you look for one and offer her a portion of what you get paid. If all she has is an arrangement through your parents and not the state our county then she doesn't HAVE to have you there at all.. You might want to consider yourself lucky that you don't have to be in foster care, that someone was kind enough to open their home to you, instead of being so whiny about what you have to do.

Answer 10

Usually people giving something up expect a lot more than deserved in return, thats human nature. but cutting is not going to help unless you want to spend the rest of the months til you go back to your YOUR moms place in a hospital. and if thats what you want then you can admit yourself to the hospital without doin that. You did not do anything wrong that we know of, but depending on if u are paying rent, and or if she is letting you stay cuz you have no other place to go, for respect for her you might as well do as she asks unless you leave her home. good luck wish you the best

Answer 11

I am sorry for your situation, but some day it will all be just memories and make you stronger. Do your best and do what is right and think how good things are going to be for you, sooner than you know.

In 3 years you could do something like join the Air Force, see the world, be your own man. Keep your grades up, and take care of YOURSELF, your money, your credit, be good... trust me you will be just fine