Do you have this ill feeling in you?

Question

This is a sensitive question, so I hope you guys will not get irritated with what I ask. Sorry if I cause any ill feelings.

If you are born a step sibling in your family, or if you are forced to lived with a step parent since young or if you are raised in a single family but your other parent has cheated on the parent that raised you, do you fell any pressure living your life? In short, if you come from a family that is broken, do you have this feeling in you that is
frustrating, or mistrust, or hateful? Do you feel life is very unfair or do you feel there is a deep anger in you.etc? Do you have hatred?

Sorry if I can't describe more clearly. Because I just don't know.

Answer 1

Its the effect a broken marriage has on kids. Thats why divorce is so bad. Get some books on it an read. Promise yourself to do better as an adult. You don't have to walk in your parents footsteps. You are a very unique person and have a lot to offer. So read things that lift your spirit and help you become the great adult you can be.

Answer 2

Family life is difficult for many at best. When some of the things you try an describe are present, it can effect a lot of people veery strongly and in many ways. What you describe is among them. No I'm not a shrink, the above is a big reason why I never wanted kids, or till I was about 35, evn was open to maybe getting married. I reccomentd it, but not as a major objective in your life. Lotsa people buy cars they hate. It's much harder, if you are with someone you'd rather not be with and are "stuck!"

Answer 3

I think that anytime a child has been raised in a home where they have had someone break the bond of trust, it is normal to have that mistrust still in you. You just have to realize that you're not alone, that it's ok to be leary and watchful, but that there are people in your life that you will be able to trust. You are not that person that wronged you, nor is anyone else that comes into your life.

It is fear that is giving you this anger. Fear of becoming that person, fear of being hurt and it feeling the same as it did when you were a child... but you have to learn to let some people in because without trusting someone, you leave no room for anyone to ever prove you wrong.

Answer 4

Yeah. It's really normal to have conflicted, hurt, and angry feelings if you're a child of a broken marriage. But many, many other people have gone through it, and you can still have a happy life, and a good relationship with your parents, depending on what kind of people they are.

My parents divorced when I was little, because my dad was an alcoholic. My mom raised us on her own with no support from my dad, and we have a great relationship now. There are a few issues, because she feels guilty that she put dating above being home with us kids (she thinks she did, but I think she was a good mom); and she still tries to parent us adult children. We were able as adults to start a good relationship with our dad, which was good because he died from lung cancer at the young age of 56. I still have some feelings of resentment towards him because of the alcoholism and not being there when we were kids, but I'm very grateful for the time that we spent with him as adults, and I'll always love and miss him.

I'd suggest joining a support group if you can't do professional counseling, because it will really help you sort out your feelings and be able to move on with your life. Good luck!

Answer 5

I never forgave my dad for the pain he caused .He doesn't know his grandchildren nor his great grandchildren .My mom passed away many years ago and was very important to my life and my children ,I was happy she knew all my kids and spent time with them. My "dad" is still healthy , working ,even has children younger than my youngest child .I'm frustrated mom worked all her life to care for our needs and he was gone !Not even visits.Hateful that God took her and left an abuser , mean , useless man to be so healthy and ALIVE. I know where he is but I've seen him twice in 25 years.Not because we planned it .I remember when I was so very young , he punched me ( made me bleed ) because I looked like my mom.I married for 10 years , he cheated and I divorced him.The anger just as if yester years all over again.But I made sure ,my children were not abused , grew up knowing where he was (always with in a few miles ) He decided not to be there .Now he wants them to forgive,and they refuse,he said they are selfish , uncaring adults . I smile when they come over , kiss me and say I love you mom! Or come to take me out for shopping , dinner ,or the visit " well just wanted to see you , talk to you but do you have any money I can borrow until Friday ?" LOL Hope this answered , I believe pain can be placed a side and life enjoyed but you don't forget , you just adjust .

Answer 6

Hatred will cause you bad health.