My man and i are both pagan we have been for a couple of years . his parents are catholic and mine are mormon we wanto have a handsfasting but im afriad my family will refuse to come or start crying at the wedding should i just suck it up and have a wedding that means nothing to me and make our parents happy or have a wedding that i really want and piss off my family or make them cry . ( please don't try and convert me i just want to hear from people who can help me not insult my reliogion.......or my spelling lol
2006-06-28 20:39:48 · 10 answers · asked by tigermuffin03 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should have your wedding your way. I had a VERY small wedding, and I made a lot of my friends angry who wanted to be there for the ceremony. As I am a pagan as well, I hold my religion very dear to my heart and I only wanted people there who supported me and my husband and our beliefs. However, his parents do not know that I am a pagan. They know that I have different beliefs than theirs, but no specifics. The minister we used is a Lutheran woman, but she knows me well, and adapted her service with our wishes and needs. We handfasted, but anyone who wasn't familiar with the practice would never have known it was pagan. We honored the directions with a well written passage with the same effect. I did not compromise, but I did soften the edges a little. The effect was a storybook wedding with 19 people total, including the wedding party, that looked like it was on the shores of Avalon itself. Everyone who attended said that it was a magical evening, even those who don't see magic the way we do. Be true to yourself, respectful to one another, and everyone will see the love in the bond, and that should be all that is necessary. If they can't see and support that, maybe they shouldn't be at the wedding in the first place. Blessed Be!
2006-06-29 02:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by artfairy 2 · 9⤊ 2⤋
Hi, Congratulations!!. My husband and I are both Pagan and we had a covert Pagan wedding in plain sight, I'll tell you some steps that I took that will help.
1. Find a minister that has a church that they recognize but still is accepts Paganism. We got married by the Unitarian Universalists. Many UU churches have Pagan groups within their church. This is a way for the parents to take a sigh of relief that you are getting married by a minister, but you still have a minister that recognizes and accepts your faith and can contribute to the spirituality of your ceremony.
2 There are many pagan marriage traditions that can be easily put into a ceremony without offending anyone. We were handfasted. You can also jump a besom and even have your bridesmaids and grooms call the corners if you want. but your parents might get up and walk our on that. Or ceremony was also held in circle form with us and the Minister in the middle, After all we were the HP and HPS that day. We chose a very Pagan passage. Many people don't pay attention to what you say.
3. I assume the ceremony will be outside. Choose a location and make sure that you have time to cleanse the area and concecrate it. Also, time of day is very important. We got married at dusk. When the sun and the moon meet. You can see the symbolism in that.
4. The reception can be as Pagan as you want. After all you are married by then.
2006-06-29 14:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the wedding you want ... I'm sure your parents and his parents will understand, I mean, it's not like you're living a double life where in one you're this nice little Mormon child and in the other you're this Pagan hellion, right? Your parents know about your choice of religion? Then do what makes you happy. Maybe to appease them you can still have a more traditional reception.
And no, Panacea, Paganism is NOT rooted in evil. You can duck your head into the sand and think that it is by quoting your little aol member sites and such, but it's not ... read a book (that has quantified facts in it).
2006-06-29 03:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by Mags 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your day. Do what makes you happy. Explain to your family your beliefs. Granted they may not approve but if they love you they will support you.
I have a very similar situation. My grandpa is a Baptist preacher and my grandma is a devote catholic (she was considering becoming a nun before meeting my grandpa). So both sides of my family want me to marry in their chuch. Problem is... I am atheist. I refuse to get married in a church. I have yet to adress the issue with my family but I don't care what they say I will not be married in a church. Don't let your family ruin your day. and by no means should anyone including you or your family tried to be converted just because of a wedding.
2006-06-29 15:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by kristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have the wedding that you want, not what makes your family happy. Your wedding is for you and your future husband, not for your parents. If they are unhappy with your religion, that's their problem. I was married in a courthouse instead of a church (which my parents wanted). They weren't happy with my decision, but they still loved and supported me. In the end, you should do what makes you happy and not worry so much about what other people think. One more thing...if you don't want people to insult your spelling, you should use Spellcheck.
2006-06-29 03:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by zaradulce02 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too, think that you should have the wedding you want. My mom actaully wanted us to do the handfasting ceremony, and I didn't want too. She had her heart set on it, but I just let her know that she got to have her wedding how she wanted it, and now its my turn to have mine how i want mine. Ever since then everything has been smooth sailing. Just let her know. Whats the point of going through with a big ceremony if its not going to mean anything to you? If your going to do that you might as well just elope.
2006-06-29 05:04:54 · answer #6 · answered by The Girl Next Door 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you incorporate both religious parts into a ceremony? There are ways of respectfully following your faith without offending others and you may want to speak to your minister about how you can incorporate some ideas into the ceremony to reflect both religions.
2006-06-29 10:10:41 · answer #7 · answered by Brenda F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you must have ONE wedding... you need to decide what is more important for you.... your religion or your parents'.
If possible, you can have 2 weddings, one for you and your pagan friends and another for your family.
2006-06-29 04:21:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had two ceremonies. We had a non-denominational ceremony for those in our family who wouldn't have appreciated the handfasting and a handfasting with those who were more comfortable with that. We actually found it surprising how many people were comfortable with both.
2006-06-29 20:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Pandora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://members.aol.com/darkmistress1/page68.html
http://www.churchofsatan.org/vera.html
You should wake up about the nature of paganism, wicca and related cults. Your parents are right to cry, carry on and refuse to come to that sort of ceremony.
It's rooted in evil.
And don't start in with that you are ignorant about my ancient religion bullcrap. I know FAR more than you about such things, obviously. Researching and educating yourself in depth about where these people are coming from is the best way to resolve the issue.
2006-06-29 03:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋