how is marraige counselling supose to help?

Question

me and my husband are going, but i dont think it will help.

Answer 1

if you go to counselor with a negative approach, it will not help. have some positive thinking and faith in the counselor. to what extent it helps depends upon the capability of the counselor and willing of the people to follow what the counselor advised

Answer 2

counseling will in some ways help you discover issuses that you each have that the other may not really know about, and it also opens the communication avenues without the anger and fighting that often happen when at home alone, but both parties must be willing to go ad get the help to make it work, if it is one sided then yes it may not help, or if one of the parties has given up ( too much too late) that can doom the coundeling effort.

now rose who answered above where the heck do you get your info!!!!
90% get a grip!!!
in my personal opinion you are bitter , have possibly gone through that before and instead of offering incouraging advice your totally side swiping the main issue
perhaps you need anger management classes rose

anyway good luck in your marriage
and always remember it takes 2 to make it work!!

Answer 3

You have to first both be open minded to change and second you must both want to try and resolve the problems you face. If either of you hold on to a certain grudge or a certain incident and each take turns bringing up the past, then you live in the past and the fight just becomes a vicious circle and you never resolve anything. Which leaves you both unhappy and thinking that the "other" just doesn't understand 'you'. Well, counselors teach you ways of staying focused on the future and living in the present and they help you learn not to hurt each other or to strike out with words in anger, words hurt, they don't fix anything or resolve the problem. I learned a life long lesson from a counselor - he told me if I was mad about something my husband did, I had to bring it up to him....TIMELY... In other words, if I didn't mention that what he did upset me or made me mad or if I didn't try to discuss the matter with him.....then I needed to understand 'The Rule' and that is - if you don't bring up what made you mad and try to resolve the issue within 2 weeks then you lose it forever.....You no longer have the right to bring it up. Neither one of you are allowed to bring up something that is more than 2 weeks old! EVER.... See this way, when you have a disagreement about something - you can't throw the "past" at each other and this makes you have to focus on now.....and try to see what you can do to resolve your problems....... It makes you live now and not carry old wounds and/or baggage with you.....but sometimes you just have too much baggage...and I didn't stay married to him but I learned some good life lessons and it made my next relationship work. Remember, when the door closes God opens another.

Answer 4

marriage counseling can work if you work with it. a counselor will help the two of you communicate better. sometimes it is hard to talk to someone when you are fighting all the time, you will be given ways to express yourself without escalating into a fight. A counselor can also help you and your husband to see things from the others perspective. you'd be amazed how much it can help to really understand the other persons perspective. last but not least a counselor will help you decide if their is a marriage worth saving. if you and your husband both commit to really participate and be truthful to one another about your feelings your marriage can be saved. please go and try because even if you still end up separated you can look back upon it and know you did your best to try and work it out. good luck!

Answer 5

Couples might go into counseling secretly thinking the counselor will point out that your partner is at fault and if he (or she)
changes, then all will be well!
But...you eventually come to realize that there is no one you CAN change but yourself.

So, maybe you find new a way to go on together as a couple (if the old ways are not working)
Or maybe you just learn to know yourself much better, and that is the benefit.

Answer 6

First, it depends on the both of you. MC (marriage counselling) will only help if you both want to try. Think of it this way: you feel bad and talk with your friends. He keeps it bottled up and then blows (guys usually do not want to talk or if they do, they talk different from gals). Talking with a third party who hears both your sides can help if the counsellor is good.
Which comes to the second part - the counsellor must hear from both of you together, and probably separately too. If s/he is good, some good will come out of it. Finally, it takes time - and once again, depends on you two - and the counsellor (don;t be afraid of changing the counsellor if it does not work).

Answer 7

You should know that something like 90% of couples who go to counseling wind up divorcing anyway. It really won't help you if you're at the point of no communication. I honestly think it's a waste of time and money.

Answer 8

You get to discuss your problems out in the open with a neutral third party who can objectively give advice. If you are not open to repairing your relationship, then counseling will not help you. It sounds to me as if you already have your mind made up.

Answer 9

I think you are suppose to get pissed off with the counselor,and then kiss and make up!!Take a deep breathe.Re-new your vows there is nobody else out there that is going to answer all your problems.Write down 5 things you like about each other and 5 thins you don't like about each other and then sit in front of each other and share.Good Luck!!! LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!!

Answer 10

It provides a mediator, and advice giver, that is non partial to either of you. He/She will discuss things that are troubling you both then open up the tables for discussion. He/She can lead you in ways to begin to consider each others thoughts and feelings on the subjects in which you disagree.

Answer 11

Marrage counceling, like other forms of counceling, will only work, to the extent that you do the hard work it requires. The theripist is not a magician, and does not have a super-duper pill to fix you. He can help you, and show you how - but only you can do the work.