have an idea what could be wrong with me?

Question

i am 26 yrs old, married with 2 children. sometime i can go days with being happy.then sometimes i wake up sad, or angry.or i m happy one minute then in a second im crying or angry. i will even pick a fight with my husband for no reason.sometimes (alot) they turn out to be verbally or physical abuse then i snap out of it aplogizing and even thinking why did i do that? i dont abuse my children. when im in one of my "moods" i want to be alone.sometimes wanting to just die.but whem im feeling "fine" death scares me.10 yrs ago i was in a horrible accident, i was the driver, but my cousin and friend were killed.(not intoxicated, just kids having fun).i went through alot.(personal). but i feel im over it. i dont see that triggering my moods. i hate going through this. i dont want it to ruin my marriage. my husband has told me a few times when i attack him that im f***** crazy. and wonder am i. need some advise

Answer 1

I would agree with the people who suggested PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) .. though perhaps it doesn't need to be labelled as that, to go through such an awful experience and lose your cousin and your friend .. plus you were driving .. I'm wondering if there are still emotional wounds inside that haven't healed. Sometimes we work on healing and it gets into our head - intellectually - but doesn't quite get absorbed in our heart - emotionally. Perhaps somewhere inside you feel a sense of guilt. I'm a survivor of child abuse, and we feel guilt over the abuse, over not stopping it, etc. even though now as adults we KNOW that we have nothing to feel guilty about, that it wasn't our fault .. but it takes a lot to really FEEL this knowledge.

I think maybe it could be the reason for your moods, specifically BECAUSE you say "I feel I'm over it" and because you bring it up at all. If you were really over it, it wouldn't have popped into your mind as a possibility or even as a non-possibility. I believe you instincts are telling you where the pain lies. The trigger is not that experience of the accident, but day-to-day things that trouble or tire or worry you, these are the triggers that waken the old pain. The accident experience isn't the trigger, it's what GETS triggered, and the moods are the resulting feelings/behaviours of that.

Why not see a good therapist and tell her/him you'd like to process the feelings you have today about that experience, and find some awareness understanding and closure about it. What have you got to lose? You have anger, fear, sadness ... if this turns out to be the reason, you can leave that baggage behind and move towards a happier way of living. I hope you'll consider it. You ARE depressed, and the best way to help yourself is to get some good help. If for some reason you don't have access to a therapist, please try a support group or a counselor, or at least a trusted person who will listen supportively and non-judmentally. I run a group online (free and anonymous) for survivors of childhood abuse/trauma, and if nothing else, you can always join us. It helps to talk and be listened to. I've put the link to my group below if you want.

Take care of yourself and don't worry, you will get the help you need, and feel better.

Answer 2

OK. first, you are a good decent person. You care about your husband and children and you want to be healthy. All of the things you describe are classic symptoms of depression. One of the best short-term things you can do when you feel like this is exercise. Next, go see a professional person, and get some help. You may need a diet change, or meds, or just some supplements.
It sounds like in the long run, you will be best served by finding a professional person to talk to REGULARLY. Find a person you can trust. It does NOT have to be a shrink (although that would be a good start) It could be a priest, rabbi, imam, guru or just a good, mature adult friend. It is important to know that you are not crazy. You may do crazy stuff, but YOU are not crazy.

Hopefully, your husband loves you enough to go to therapy WITH you. He may also want to see someone to learn how to better handle your moods.

Ideally, your kids, if they are 5 or older, should get someone to talk to also. It should be a professional, rather than someone who will tell them "Mommy's just acting a little crazy right now" What they need is someone who will listen, who will validate their feelings. And believe me, they DO have feelings about this. If really young, maybe grandparents (ONLY if they are understanding & supportive).
You get the idea. this is serious stuff you are feeling. you have every right to feel how you do. for your own peace of mind, and for the love of your family -ALL y'all need to get help. It will work out. love will find a way. you will all be OK.

Answer 3

i know a woman that had a slightly similar thing but she had issues with a drug addict mother and a father that did not want to have anything to do with her. But it sounds exactly like another woman I know who had an overgrowth of candida albicans.

MDs have trouble diagnosing it. The woman above cured it with herbs. You can check into it on internet. It is caused by decrease in good bacteria. This is caused by bc pills or anti-biotics and is made worse by unhealthy diet. Another symptom of it (I have a whole book on it) is cloudy thinking sometimes.

Here is page you can look at about "depression and bipolar" with how diet affects it. It has links to other pages with info that can help and the home page has a link to a site with hebs that has a tea and an immune product very effective against that overgrowth. Say no to drugs. All of them have side affects and 40% of them are for the side effects of other drugs.

I don't know if depressed people feel this, but woman with candida would have episode, cry afterwards and say that it felt like it was not her doing it. Actually major symptom of candida albicans overgrowth is depression. It comes from nasty things happening in body and brain from this fungus. It also causes yeast infection. Maybe because of bc pills woman are more likely to get it. Here is a test for you. Eat a lot of candy and stuff with refined sugar and some bread with yeast and see if that sets off a bad episode.

Answer 4

Hi,
Have you been to counseling for all that you have been through? I think that seeing a qualified professional can help you to better deal with the range of the emotions that you are feeling as a result of the trauma that you have suffered earlier in your life. While you are dealing with these difficult issues and feelings, it may be a good idea to ask your doctor to give you an antidepressant so that your symptoms can be interrupted, and you can better cope with the emotions and stresses in your life. Best of luck to you and I hope you get help soon. You deserve to be happy in your life.

Answer 5

Sounds like your depressed to me.Depression has so many different meanings.With it you can be happy at one minute and sad the next.You've had a big trauma in your life.You say your over it,but I'm sure it still haunts you at times.Go to a doctor and get some help.Depression is a disease.Don't be afraid to ask for help.Best Wishes!♥

Answer 6

Oh, dear, you are not crazy. Do not let your husband's words of anger get to you. This is a extremely common sign of depression. Depression does not always take effect, it can come and go, which would explain your mood swings. It also explains you thoughts of death/suicide. It is absolutley normal to get depressed once in your life.
Also ask your doctor if you might be bi-polar.

Answer 7

I hate to do a diagnois since I am not qualified to do so--but from what I know it sounds like bipolar. Whatever it is you need some help. You should see a psychiatrist--whatever it is that is causing this--it is treatable. I know--I always believed that depression was just in your head--until I fell into a state of clinical depression--and found out it was more than just the "blues"--I got medical treatment and got over it. Please do the same.

~Becky

Answer 8

You sound a lot like me, my bf is always complaining how I change my mood in seconds, I suffer from depression, maybe you do too. You should see a doctor, they can help, if you are willing to accept there is something wrong and take some medication for it.

Answer 9

It sounds like bordreline - especially the anger out of no where, and the sort of "mood swings." I am just like this, and my p docs have investigated bipolar, but that didn't seem an adequate diagnosis for me, and it probably isnt for you either, because from your blurb, I don't see any evidence of "ups", but only down/angry and normal mood. but the anger can be a sign of either. check out with the doctor.

Answer 10

i don't think you're crazy at all. sounds like you're struggling with either post traumatic stress disorder or bipolar disorder. your best bet would be to make an appointment with your doctor- either you're family doctor or even your ob/gyn- who ever you're most comfortable with, and tell them what you're feeling. More than likely, they will be able to put you in touch with someone in the mental health field that can really help. You may need to be on medication for awhile. Hey, friend, there's no shame in it, i myself take lexapro for depression, and there are alot more of us out there who are just like you and understand how you feel. Please seek help. You are worth it!!!