How do you get over the death of a dog?

Question

It's been a year next month and i'm still not over the death od Kimo. I thought things would get better, but I still think of him everyday. He was poisoned and I know he suffered a great deal before dying. I feel guilty and jealous b/c my roommate has a new puppy. I know I miss HIM b/c when I'm with other dogs all I can think about is how they're nothing like Kimo. I'm in the process of picking a new dog to buy and I don't know if I should get the same breed or not. I know i'm silly but I really loved that stupid dog.

Answer 1

I feel for you, really. When I lost my best dog, it was to Addison's Disease. She was very, very attached to me and vise versa. She was my little shadow. She was a Miniature American Eskimo mix, and she looked either like a big fox, or a long-haired corgi, depending on how she was sitting... She was the best dog I have ever had, and ever will have. She understood entire sentences, and would follow even the slightest facial expression changes on my face. She could do more "tricks" than any dog I've ever seen, and I didn't "train" her, she just developed that way. I've never seen a dog with that level of intelligence before.

I left her with my folks one weekend to go take care of another family member's dogs while they were away for a trip. When I came home, I found out that she had stopped eating, which she often did if I wasn't around her. Well, she didn't start up again, even if I tried to hand-feed her. I took her to the local vet, who was perplexed and was convinced that it was behavioral. I had to force-feed her for two weeks while they pondered over everything and decided nothing.

Finally, I went to a vet three hours away, who was known for his heart and his persistance with things like this. Lo and behold, he figured it out in a matter of minutes. She was a lifeless shell when I took her in to his office, and when I went to get her three days later, she leapt into my arms and clung to me like she was never going to see me again.

The vet cried, as well as the other guy in the waiting room. I thought I'd never see her walk again, so to see her run out of the back room at full speed and leap into my arms that way was so much more than just moving... It was soul-changing.

Come to find out, Addison's is a hormone problem caused by a stressful event. It was my fault that this had happened to her.

She was on very expensive medication for the next year, and we had to keep upping the dosage to keep up with her deterioration, but it was the best year of my life. I did everything fun with her that I could think of, and gave her every luxury that I could give her.

A year after the initial episode, she was looking very sick, despite the medication. She was so unhappy. I couldn't bear that. She had been with me through two births, a mis-carriage, getting married, getting divorced, a fire that destroyed everything we had, and so much more. She never wavered. I had her put to sleep, and she never left my arms. I carried her in, I carried her out, I carried her home, and I buried her.

That was three years ago, and I still remember it like it was this afternoon. I dreaded it for years, and I got through it, though it was the hardest day of my life. I still miss her terribly, and I still feel so much guilt over what happened. I have another dog now that is that dependent on me, and I swear, I'll never leave him alone for a moment longer than need be.

I'll never find another dog like her. It's not every day that a dog like that is even born, so I just hold her memory very dear, and go on believing that I will see her again some day.

It doesn't matter what kind of dog you get next. If you get the same breed or not, it can never replace the one you lost. Each dog is very much an individual, no matter the breed. It's just another "addition" to the family. However, if you think it will be too hard to have the same breed again, don't feel bad about getting a different one. I could never be without dogs myself. They are an essential part of my world. I love my Bossies to smithereens, and will always have them with me, but that little "mixed-breed" rescue of mine was the best...

Good luck to you, and I hope you find the perfect puppy!

Answer 2

I definitely think that getting a new dog would help fill that void. However, I would NOT get the same breed. You don't want to replace your beloved Kimo, and no other dog could, anyway. If you get the same breed, you may end up resenting it or yourself. Especially if you end up comparing it to Kimo. (Not on purpose, but you might do it unknowingly.) If it doesn't act the same way, or behave the same way, or even love you the same way as Kimo, it will only bring you more pain.

Definitely get a different breed, and if you're not ready for a new dog yet, try having some kind of weekly ritual where you take some time out to talk to Kimo and pay your respects. Tell him how much you miss him, and tell him about your day and anything that happened to make you think of him. As time goes on, you'll just start telling him how your day was, and it will be like having a normal conversation without having all the pain.

When we lost our dog to cancer, my daughter was devastated. They grew up together. She has what she calls her "Penny Box" where she keeps Penny's old collar, an old toy, a milk bone, a picture of her, and a bandana she had gotten at her last grooming appointment. I thought having that stuff around would be hard for her, but it actually helps her a lot, because she feels a sense of loyalty to Penny, and she feels that Penny knows she hasn't forgotten (and will never forget) about her.

Good luck with this; I know from experience how painful this can be, but just remember that Kimo is not in pain anymore, and he's in a much better place than we could ever imagine.

Answer 3

I lost my "best friend" of 12 years. It's only been 6 months since she passed away, and I'm still not over it. I'm done crying, but there are so many things that remind me of her. I won't get another dog for a long while, if ever. The pain is not something I want to go through again, but I know eventually I'll cave when the right dog comes along.
I can't tell you how to get over the death of Kimo. I can still hear my dog knocking on the door for me to let her inside sometimes. It's creepy as hell. I still go to the backdoor when I get home to let her inside. The only thing that does help is taking comfort in knowing that while we were together, she was happy, and healthy and had a owner that loved her very much.
A lot of people get new dogs soon after the death of their last one, and I've heard that a new puppy does help fill the gap.
When looking for a new dog, look for traits that you admired about Kimo, but never expect the new dog to be just like him.
And don't feel guilty, act on your guilt. With your new friend you can correct the mistakes made with your last one. It will help to add more purpose to Kimo's life. In death he can help you be an even better dog owner than before.

Answer 4

You've just lost a beloved member of your FAMILY! Take all the time you need to grieve your loss of Kimo, just as you would if it had been a human. YOU'RE NOT SILLY!! It's been proven that people get as much (sometimes more!) love and attention from a pet as they do a human, and their reciprocal feelings are just as strong.
As for another pet - that's up to you and you alone! YOU will know when you're ready. The worst thing you can do to yourself and a new pet is to compare it to the one you lost. No 2 pets will be the same, just as no 2 people are the same! Whether you choose the same breed of dog or not - each and every pet has it's very own personality.
Don't rush yourself. Allow the memories and tears to flow - but don't keep beating yourself up for the untimely death of Kimo. Guilt is a non-productive emotion - you're only making yourself feel worse over a terrible situation that you most likely couldn't have controlled anyway! Jealousy is a natural reaction to your grief.
Some people rush out and buy a new pet - same or different as what they've just lost, only to regret it. YOU'LL KNOW when that "right pet" finds YOU!
Good luck, and my prayers are with you in your grief!

Answer 5

I am so sorry. Run free sweet baby. Run free at Rainbow Bridge...
You are most certainly not silly. Dogs come into our hearts like no one else can. They have something that touches us in a remarkable way. We know that if we give our hearts they will be broken but we must because it is all they ask. You should get a new dog. You will never forget your old dog and he will always be in your heart and thoughts but the new puppy will give you something else to care for and when you feel that empty feeling you can hold your pup and know that a little piece of Kimo lives in him. I just finished reading a book called Dogs of Dreamtime. It covers this subject in a gripping story and I would highly recommend it. I cried a lot while reading it and it's worth every penny. Again very sorry for your loss.

Each dog I have owned has left its paw print on my heart.

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept it's awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan...."

Answer 6

Well, I understand that you are in pain but please if you do get another pet do not buy the same breed because you will be comparing him to kimo. If you pick a different breed it might be a little easier not to compare him to Kimo. but if you think you will not be able stop yourself from comparing all dogs to Kimo do not get a new pet at this time you will only hurt your pet emotionally. seek some counseling, I think you still think of kimo because you feel there should have been something you could have done to save him. Unfortunately, you weren't able to help him but you have to remember it was not you fault that he was poisoned it was a mean uncaring person who did this do not punish yourself for what happened.

Answer 7

I actually have tears in my eyes as Iwrite this. I feel for you. Just the thought of one of my dogs dying makes me feel terrible. I am so soory that you are in pain. Do not feel silly. It is very normal. Try to remember that you were a great friend to Kimo. He knew that and loved you too. It would be great if you could adopt a dog from a shelter. Contrary to belief, they make great dog. you would be rescuing a life and making a dog VERY happy. you seem like a great dog owner. I hope you get another one when you feel ready. Everyone should experience the joy a dog can bring. I hope everyone's support on this site made you feel better. Take care.

Answer 8

What you are dealing with is normal. It takes time and there is no way to rush this process. I suggest you make sure that you get a pet that is purposely nothing like Kimo. You don't want a replacement, that can't happen, you just want a new friend. Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't get a dog. Get a cat or another animal besides a dog. Make sure the animal is nothing like Kimo.

Answer 10

You're not silly for mourning the loss of your dog! A family pet is just that...family! It will take time, and each day the pain will be a little less. You will probably always feel saddened when you think of your pup, but also try to remember all the good memories.

I think it's good that you are considering a new pup. It may help ease some of the pain you are feeling and you will have a sweet little puppy to love once again.

Answer 11

The death of a dog or other family pet can often times be like loosing a family member they say time heals all wounds but sometimes company helps you must have loved you dog very much and would do the same with another but I would suggest not getting the same kind for it maybe to easy to compare the 2 and that wouldn't be fair to the new pet...also when you decide it is time go to your local shelter first for your dog lost his life but you maybe able to save another.