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i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years im the type of person that has really low self a steem his ex was really hott and i just broke up with him because i dont think im hot enough as she was and i think he can do better .is this really werid ?i told him that i've been cheating for the pass 2 weeks and that he should go find a hot gurl to be with .i just feel that maybe if she wantted him back and i wasnt in the way he would go with her and he should cause im too ugly to have anybody im to ugly to be happy .so i guess i did do the right thing

2006-06-28 17:55:38 · 13 answers · asked by alexiarockz 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

13 answers

Seems like you have a nice guy, guy being the key word which means although we do have feelings if you're not the one he wanted he wouldn't have a problem dumping you. So don't think you're in the way or not hot enough because evidently he thinks you are. Now the solution to your lie is tell the truth and hopefully he'll understand.

2006-06-28 18:04:22 · answer #1 · answered by askmeguru21 5 · 0 0

First, let me answer the broad question: yes, you should go talk to someone. When you're feeling depressed and have low self-esteem, hanging out with and talking to other people is a great help. You could talk to a doctor, sure, but you could also go out with friends, or start some new activities and meet new people, or talk with your parents. The point isn't to solve your problems directly -- esteem problems don't get solved so readily -- but to expand your activities to include supportive people and grow as a person as a result. The esteem develops on its own from there.

Now, the specific question: is it strange to break up with a guy because you feel he can do better? Not at all; you're so convinced that he'll dump you sooner or later that you've decided to pre-emptively dump him instead. That, or you did it in hopes that he'd come back and say "no, no, I don't care, I love you soooooooooo much" -- and it backfired. I'm assuming the former, not the latter.

You need to learn that (a) your (now ex) boyfriend wouldn't have been wasting his time with you unless he thought you were a worthwhile human being, and (b) if you spend your life considering rejection such a huge and inevitable tragedy as this, you'll be a miserable person for the rest of your life.

Spend a little time accepting the affections of other people at face value, and accept the fact that you'll be rejected once and a while even if you're the prettiest and nicest person in the city.

2006-06-28 18:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by daveowenville 4 · 0 0

You might do well to go talk to a counsellor about your self esteem issues. A man shouldn't love someone just because they're "hot" (though that's a bonus), it should be because they like who they are. If you are always putting up a yardstick between you and other people, you'll never size up because it's you doing the measuring. Beauty Queen may be narcisistic or nasty or something. Just looking good on the outside literally is icing - people change as they get older, it's the personality that counts. Please talk with someone so that you can feel good about who you are, and then all the beauty queens in the world won't hold a candle to you.

2006-06-28 18:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by dreamcatweaver 4 · 0 0

Gal you are not alone. I do make the same mistake over and over again. But there is one thing I have learnt over the years. Unless you are comfortable with who you are, no one else will be. You have to look deep down to find that peace of mind and if it means seeing someone about it, then i would highly recommend it. The first thing thou, go and tell your guy the truth. 3 years is a long time to be with some and he has being there for you all this time.

2006-06-28 18:06:01 · answer #4 · answered by ngina 5 · 0 0

No you did the really stupid thing. It is not our perfections that make us attractive to the opposite sex. It is our imperfections. this guy was with you because he saw something in you that was different. If he wanted to be with the " hottie" he would have stayed with her. You need go see somebody because you are not very healthy in the head right now. And if I had to venture a guess I would say your pretty cute so stop saying your ugly, that is just an excuse for your dumb behavior.

2006-06-28 18:06:11 · answer #5 · answered by jim w 3 · 0 0

why should u let go ur happiness because of someone else... ugly or pretty is just outside skin... when u grow older... it the heart that matters.... u must have confidence in urself... get him back... make love and u can be hot... change the way u dress.. get ur hair done well... if ur wearing glasses change to lens... put some make up... u can change u looks... with the technology and make up now days anyone can look pretty... but u must build up Ur confidence... all the best to u!!

2006-06-28 18:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by ajay 1 · 0 0

hon. if u loved him thiers no point in braking up with him.
i think im ugly too.
and u know ur probley really beautiful.
If he thinks ur pretty then he will stay with u.
He didnt want his girlfriend because she probley didnt have chemistry or something along that line. if u really cheted on him thats nott good.
but if u didnt then im sure he will take u back. if he loves u and u love him u will no whats best.
:]]

2006-06-28 17:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by Laura w 1 · 0 0

no. if he went out with you for 3 years, you must be beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. you should never put yourself down like that, or else you will be miserable. listen, just have some faith in yourself, and be happy to be alive.

2006-06-28 17:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by Marines 4 Life 3 · 0 0

you didnt do the right thing at all. looks arent everything. a women can be drop dead gorgeous, but if she is a nagging, clingy, self absorbed B-itch, i wouldnt take her and im sure he wouldnt either. so get him back, he was with you for a reason. he chose you for a reason.

and you arent ugly! if you were, he wouldnt have been interested in you to begin with!

2006-06-28 17:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by mozartrox811 2 · 0 0

Dont put yourself down like that evedentally he thought you were pretty or he would have broke up with you!!!! STOP PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!! Your prolly not as ugly as you think people tend to see all the worst things about themselves when they think about it. Like I am overweight when I look at myself all I see if a fat person but my boy freind says I have a beautiful face and he loves me for who I am!!!!!

2006-06-28 18:01:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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