My friend just called me and told me she will be comeing down soon to be with her mother and family, and she just found out today that her mother has breast cancer.. I really don't know what to say to her but only tell her I'm sorry and that I'm praying for her mother. I don't know what to say to the mother either because she lives right across the street from me, and I always see her. what can I say at this sad time when she feels like venting to me??
2006-06-28 17:35:20 · 13 answers · asked by ??Brown sugar?? 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
She says she has been crying allday.
2006-06-28 17:36:26 · update #1
Can yall help me pray for her.
2006-06-28 17:37:19 · update #2
Mister nice guy: I'm reporting you
2006-06-28 17:41:57 · update #3
Sometimes you don't have to say anything, a good friend sometimes just listens when their friend needs them to be there. Sounds like you are doing the right things already. Blessings, Lotusrain
2006-06-28 17:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work in health care and have had to deal with people and disease often. The best thing you can do is offer your support, love, prayers, and time. Go over and weed your neighbors garden...do something practical. Tell your friend that you are completely available for her in whatever way that she may need, be it a listening ear, someone to just get away with, or whatever. Be a positive and supportive person. You will figure out what your friend needs by how she responds. Also, if she is venting, just listen...you don't have to give any answers. I will often say, I don't know what that would be like. Don't tell her some story about you or someone you know...just keep it on her and be that ear that she needs. Also, don't avoid them because you are uncomfortable. Overcome that and be a light in their life right now.
2006-06-29 00:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by afrank99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say what you feel. Tell them both that they are in your prayers and that you are shocked and saddened by their news and will be pulling for her . Be sure to keep in touch with them both. The mother will need to see a smiling face now and then. Be sure to speak with her and talk to her as you always have done. I remember while going through treatment feeling as though I had become invisible. My husband and I would be out and people would walk right past and never say hello, or worse, they would speak to only him, as if I were not there or like they could catch the breast cancer.
Offer assistance if you can, if she does chemo she will have tired days, a simple meal, fresh fruit and soft foods are always welcome, help shopping or just a hand around the house would be a good thing.
Be positive, I will keep you all in prayer.
2006-06-29 01:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by Carol P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother also had breast cancer and my father just passed away from cancer. There is really nothing you can say. I know that for me, what was said is not really remembered as much but, I do remember the people who brought in dinner because we had spent all day at the hospital with my dad or with my mom getting tests or chemotherapy done. Or the kind folks who shoveled the snow out of our driveway so we would not have to worry about nurses and aids getting to our house when my dad was on Hospice. Or my friend who sat on the phone doing nothing more than listening to me talk about my dad and crying for more than 3 hours when she had 4 little girls at home but, knew that I needed to talk. Acts of kindness at this time will speak volumes. What ever you do though, let it come from your heart.
2006-06-29 00:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by Jen M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We were just informed that my dad has a brain tumor (for the 3rd time). I didn't tell anyone for a week because I needed some time to let it sink in and to get control of my feelings before people began to tell me how "sorry" they were. One of my best friends called me yesterday and simply said to me in a very gentle voice "you know I'm here for you...anytime....just call me and I'll be there." And I know that she will because she was the last two times my dad faced brain surgery.
My best advice is to not "talk too much about it". Let her know that you will be there for her and then let her be the one to initiate the conversation if she needs to talk about it. If she needs to vent to you, then probably what she'll need from you most is just a shoulder to cry on, because she really isn't looking for any answers....you wouldn't have them anyway, unless you know WHY her mom has cancer, which you obviously don't....so just BE THERE for her to cry on. Be her rock when she needs someone to lean on. And don't think she is crazy if one day she is a ball of tears and the next day she acts like everything is fine.....I happen to be going through this right now and I hate when people look at me like I'm a schizophrenic or something if one day I'm laughing and the next day I'm crying. Everyone deals with emotional pain differently....let her deal with it how she feels most comfortable.
2006-06-29 00:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by guatemama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them know that your their for them if they need anything, or to even vent. Sometimes you don't need to say anything. I'm sorry, I'll pray for you, If you need any thing. Just be you, don't treat her any different, and don't feel awkward or scared. Tell her you don't know what to say or what you can do but you will be there for them. You have my prayers and keep your head up, optimism and a positive attitude is what get a person through something such as cancer.
2006-06-29 00:44:35 · answer #6 · answered by angelw/brkwingcrookedhalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First find out how far along she is. Most likely she is going to make a full recovery. Don't act like she's dying just because she has cancer. She may loose a breast but that is really no big deal at this point in the game.
2006-06-29 00:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say nothing. Pray while she vents. Be a sholder to cry on and a listening ear. Pray the God give her peace and for healing for the mom. Ask the Lord if there is anything specific He wants you to tell her. He will give you scripture to share with her
2006-06-29 00:38:43 · answer #8 · answered by monique_bell69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you be brave and then ask her too. Cancer is curable and so pl dont worry. tell her that you are there for them and give your shoulder to cry on. you pl pray for her and most importantly believe that she will be healed by Jesus. as for me i shall surely pray for her - all you need to do is give me her name. i shall also ask my friends and other prayer groups to do so. if she is a catholic - pl call a priest and ask him to anoint her - anointing of the sick - it really helps and best is continue to pray - and i will pray with you for her. God bless and heal her soon.
2006-06-29 00:55:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the only thing you can actually 'say' is that you'll be there for them if they need anything and they have your support.
Other than that random acts of kindness always show that you care without having to actually 'say' anything.
2006-06-29 00:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by samchic86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋