My four year old daughter told me that she doesn't want to live with me anymore. She said that she wants to live with her dad. She doesn't even listen to me anymore. I am afraid that all of her actions will affect her younger sister. What do I do about this? Please help me!
2006-06-28 17:31:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Your daughter is saying that because she is hearing it from someone not in the household. This is the same thing that happened when my mom and dad got divorced. My lil brother would be going to see my dad for his visitations and when he would come back he would be saying "i don't have to do what you say" or "i am going to move in with daddy" but that is cause my dad was talking that way to him.
Maybe you need to speak with her father and tell him how she talks when she comes back from visiting and if he or someone else is trying to get her to act up and make you think that it would be better for her to live with him.
I know all of this all to well. People that are wanting custody will talk like that in front of a kid then that will make the child talk that way. She is saying what she is hearing.
Good luck
2006-06-28 17:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, four year old girls say what they feel one minute and change their mind the next. She doesn't understand how to control her feelings (which sounds quite overwhelming), so she gives you comebacks that she knows will set you off.
You need to spend time with her alone, maybe have a one-on-one day with her and just have some fun. Sit down with her and talk about how she is feeling about her dad. She is probably sad about not having her father around on a full-time basis. Let her know you love her no matter what and will always be there for her. Explain to her that if she gets angry, she needs to talk things out with you. Be consistant and your younger one will see that too.
I know it's hard, but you have to continue being an active parent. We get so consumed with 'life' that we sometimes forget to let our kids know we love them. Lead by example and in time she will understand and follow.
2006-06-28 17:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by CaramelKidsMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of the problem NOW before it gets worse. REMEMBER SHE IS 4 not 14.
You need to start punishing her for her actions. I know it can be hard but if you don't do it now you WILL regret it later.
Four years olds are not established enough to understand rebellion but she has figured out by saying she wants to go live with daddy that you get upset so she put the two together. Now she knows that when YOU upset her that she says that and YOU get upset also. Don't punish her for saying she wants to live with dad but when she says it during punishment ignore her and continue with the punishment
Another thing to try is next time she says it tell OK then give her a trash bag(make sure you watch her with it) tell her to go pack her clothes her toys and all of her things tell her that if she wants to go live somewhere else she has to take all her things with her because you can't live two places. I promise if it gets past the packing stage(which it probably won't) when you tell her to kiss you goodbye and kiss her baby sister good bye and tell her you won't see her again for a long time she will decide she wants to stay right there.
2006-06-28 17:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by shellshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one and most single parents face it. Kids, even little ones, play one parent against the other. You don't say if you are divorced or separated from her father, but I take it you are living separately.
Grandparents can help. Would your parents be supportive? If you are on reasonable terms with the little girl's father you could call her bluff and let her live with dad for a while. On the other hand--if there are problems between you that could make things worse.
Generally children respond to love and positive communications. Praise her when she does good things. Correct her--but do so lovingly--when she does bad things. It all has to start with love. Remember that children can be hateful in their actions, but they are rarely sophisticated enough to truly hate you. Don't abuse her, and don't excessively punish her, but make it clear you don't accept her actions.
God gives us no higher or greater responsibility than He does when he places in a child in our custody to love and raise. We need to fully live up to that responsibility.
Good luck and God bless both of you. (And do let the little sister know in as many ways as possible you love her.)
2006-06-28 17:43:24 · answer #4 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she testing you, she think if she makes you upset you will give in to her. You have to be strong but loving. That means when you give her punishment you have to stick with it and don't give in. Sometimes you have to show them the reality of their life. It sound like she not mad at you she upset she doesn't have a dad around to have that bound with and she getting that extra bonding through you two arguing. You need to sit her down where there are no distractions and it is just you two and talk to her about not having a dad around and find out what is bothering her. you will be surprised on how much they know. And be straight about where her dad is as hard as it is. Its hard to answer that question in that situation u need more information to give a better answer
2006-06-28 18:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by looking for bio. mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can someone insurrection hostile to at least something they don't even believe exists? Rebelling hostile to Christianity and different religions will be extra precise, yet anti-non secular sentiments at the instantaneous are not unique to all Atheists, some dont recommendations Christianity on the theory that it does charity paintings etc, and typically facilitates drug addicts get sparkling and criminals replace their options. relies upon on the atheist....
2016-11-29 23:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's either got a good point, or she's just testing you. Kids test their parents all the time!!! It's not fun, but if you're firm and keep normal rules and CONSEQUENCES, she won't be able to get away with it any more.
If there's tough upheaval in her life, then counseling might help too. Could he be against you in any way, teaching her this stuff? Or could she be seeing or hearing something at either house that's worried her?
2006-06-28 17:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by LadyE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok is she doing it after getting into trouble. If so i wouldn't worry about it. Children say a lot of things. Is it possible to see her father more or is he not in her life. It sounds like she is having a hard time with something.
2006-06-28 17:38:44 · answer #8 · answered by littledueceb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd def. being a mother of 5 myself.. sometimes I just have to take a step back when my kids say things like that and try to see things how they would view them. and i have learned the more i react negatively to what they say the more they will say hurtful stuff like that bc they get a reaction. and what your reaction 1st will be is to react.. try not to react as much and dont yell and have much of a reaction at all with at 1st IS easier said then done.. especially when your upset .. but try it a week/two and youll see a change.. not giving them much of a reaction to undesired actions.. they will be wondering HEY... WHY no reaction now... and just come down to their level when u are being firm with them.. so u can see them eye to eye.. and they can see you are serious about what you are saying.
HOPE ALLWORKS out.. at 4yo they know alot but not as much as We mommies do :)
2006-06-28 19:02:13 · answer #9 · answered by Erica Y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend most of ur time with ur daughter and be sure to enjoy the best out f it.share and do things together.make sure to give her a laugh and smile on her face always and hugs and kisses.
2006-06-28 22:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by jen h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋