Will dating this older man work out?

Question

I recently met an absolutely amazing guy who I have been seeing for the last 3 months. We have this amazing, open and honest, comfortable relationship. We are both very career minded and busy but always find time for each other. He is charming, intelligent, sweet, fun to be with, and basically an all around perfect guy, except for some small (but significant) details. First of all, we met through work where we technically work for the same company, our office has no policy against this and we do not see each other most days so I don't see this as a major problem, except that my direct supervisor hates him and of course doesn't know I'm seeing him. I think if he found out, I could possibly lose my job. Secondly there is a significant age difference - 16 years (I'm 25, he's 41) is that too much? And lastly, he's just broken up with a serious girlfriend who he admits to me he still loves and says he's devastated by their breakup. In spite of all these things I still want to be with him and he says he wants to be with me too, but he says I'm too young for him and is sure I'm going to leave him any day. Do I work through all these issues, or run away as fast as I can to avoid having my heart broken???

Answer 1

Nothing wrong with a older guy.

Answer 2

I always thought age didn't matter, I'm 20+ years older than my wife of 10 years, I Love her as much as ever. I think that she might realize she doesn't want a older man now, as we seem to be drifting apart, still I wouldn't change a thing. I have had 10 wonderful years that I would not trade for anything. If we ended our relationship today I would still love her. I think once someone captures a part of your heart there is a part that stays theirs. So your guy may always love his ex, but he can Love you as much or more depends on you. Don't want to tell you to go for it then 10 years from now you say " I shouldn't have listened to that jerk" Love really knows no age it's really what the two of you put into it. If both of you really know what you expect in 10 years 20 years or more and realize life will throw you some curves, things change. You will change, so if you really know what you want then act on it. It's your life, I think it can work and if he makes you happy then forget the age difference.

Answer 3

Take it slow. It could work. Try friendship first. Let him get over his lost love before jumping into anything.

I was dating a 42 year old when I was 26. I found him very immature. Not to say your man would be; dude I'm talking about is well into his 50s now. It depends on the people!

Leave your boss out of it...none of his business! Just don't hang on eachother at work and do anything stupid and you'll be fine.

Answer 4

sounds like too many instabilities to build the base of a solid relationship on (and its not because of the age difference, obviously there is not a problem there.).
if you can't see all the red flags in the questions you've asked and the details you've given, then the real question is: why can't you see the red flags? of if you've seen the red flags, why are you still there?
are you wanting to be in a relationship so bad that this is acceptable, red flags & all? is this the best you can do? are you afraid of being alone that bad? don't you think you deserve better? what kind of role models have you had? is that why you don't know how to be in a better relationship?
"I've broken up with my girlfriend, i still love her, but I'll be with you since I can't be with her. And just to sabatoge chances with you, I will believe that ( although you're the one acting more mature) you are the one too young for me, that you are destined to leave me, so I can be insecure about this rebound relationship, too!" (healthy attitude & role model! just how good is he in a relationship? ever wonder why his girlfriend is not with him? her view, not his!)
and you want to know if this is a relationship worth investing in? does this sound healthy to you? nurturing? advancing your development? hello!!!
think about it. sometimes doing the right thing is doing the hard thing!!! but you'd better get your radar tuned up first! good luck!

Answer 5

I went through the same thing(me 25 my man 43 now) he was in a 13 year relationship with his ex and he was devastated at first but he got used to me, how different I was. You have to just be you and see where he stands with the whole situation, If he tells you he calls her or tries to see her then its not worth you getting all excited about and you could be friends. but honestly hon age is not a factor in a relationship, its how you meet, when, how and the circumstances. Always remember that obstacles in a relationship either make it stronger or it just dies. About your boss, your personal life is just that personal, you leave him where he calls the shots, at work.

Answer 6

Let him know how you feel and tell him know that you're going to be around for a while. I don't think he's going to have a problem with the age difference, if anything it works in your favor. Take a chance and see what happens, if you don't try you'll always wonder what if.
Start out slow if thta's what he wants but get something started and see how it goes.

Answer 7

i think age is not a problem as long as you are happy. there is certainly nothing wrong with tested your waters. beware of his break up, he is in rebound mode. to be bound gal as you are now will probably lead to zip. is your job worth losing and is your heart worth being broken. i say this have fun with him, go out but keep your clothes on, this will drive him nuts. lol
eyes

Answer 8

I don't think the age difference is the problem. I think that him still loving his ex could be. Just be careful you aren't a rebound, or the "young, hot girl" to make his ex jealous. Good luck!

Answer 9

ya