Anyone got any crude humor jokes...... something that will ammuse a 15 year old kid.... come on..... crude humor.... anyone got anything ?
2006-06-28 16:43:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Magician and The Parrot
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem:
The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or, "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days .. and then 3 days .
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said ..... "OK, I give up. Where's the f__kin' ship?"
2006-06-28 18:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thought you'd never ask....
There was this wealthy lawyer driving in the country one afternoon. He suddenly decided he wanted to be a farmer. He bought himself a little farm and set out looking for farm animals.
He roamed his new surroundings until he came upon a sign reading: Animals for sale
He found the owner of the animals and inquired as to what was being sold. The owner showed him what he thought was a donkey. The new farmer said, I'll take it. I'll need a donkey to do some plowing. He was told, "it's not a donkey it's an A S S. It's real stubborn too, but if it stops walking just tickle it. It'll get moving again."
The new farmer says' Great. By the way do you have any chickens?" The man says, "sure come on 'round back." He leads the new farmer to his coops. He hands the city man what he thinks is a chicken. He asks for a rooster as well. The new farmer is told, the female is called a pullet and the male is a co-ck. He says, "yeah, great." and pays the man.
As the new farmer is leading his donkey away, carrying a hen and rooster under each arm, a gorgeous woman in a convertible drives by. Just then his burro stops walking. He remembers what the man who sold him the animals told him and flags down the beautiful woman.
As she pulls up next to him he asks, "Pardon me, but would you hold my co-ck and pullet while I tickle my A S S?
2006-06-29 00:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by 4kidsmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
The pharmacist fainted !!!
2006-06-29 00:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Gilmore♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: I Might not get hard I just got laid last night!
2006-07-04 20:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by retisin2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 14 and i got a good 1
what did the elephant say to the naked man?...
...How can you breath out of that tiny thing!
2006-06-28 23:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by sk84jesus14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 men were camping bob &tom, tom got bit in the butt by a snake so they went to the hospital bob asked the docter "is he going to be alright"and the docter said,"well in order for him to live someone has to suck the poisn out of his butt.so he went to tom and tom said,"what he say".then bob replys "well...you gon die".
2006-06-28 23:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by lady_up_in_kc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a yo mama joke
yo mama is so fat when she got on the scaner it said one at a time pleas
yo mama is so stupid she got locked in the grocier store and starved
2006-06-28 23:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A priest, a child molester, and a pedophile walk into a bar....
Oh wait, same guy.
2006-06-29 11:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋