What to do with Bi-polar 6 yr old who unrinates on self, steals from parents, lies, violent, parents need help

Question

My friend at work's son is really bad and she doesn't know what to do she has been to different doctors and physchiatrist, he has already been kicked out of one school and she doesn't know what to do she is even considering a boarding school for troubled boys but they don't seem to take kids untill 7th grade. He wets his pants and then lies and says it's just water, she found a pile of soiled underwear behind his dresser. He stole a pound of sausage from the fridge and ate it in the middle of the night, and made him sick even though she feeds him a good dinner. He has violent rages at school but not at home where he has to be held by a teacher or he would hurt someone during these fits. The Doctors were no help- If anyone has any suggestions I could tell her let me know I am speechless. She handles it with a lot of patience but she needs proffessional help.

Answer 1

Your story is too familar too me. What follows is a lot of reading.
You know the child in question better than I, so I hope this helps.

kids with Asperger's Syndrome get into more trouble in school, exasperate teachers and are the subject of bullying.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-aspergers-syndrome.htm

A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:

1. often loses temper

2. often argues with adults

3. often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules

4. often deliberately annoys people

5. often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior

6. is often touchy or easily annoyed by others

7. is often angry and resentful

8. is often spitful or vindictive

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/external-search/202-1474247-3606237?tag=gamesdump-21&keyword=jimmi%20hendrix&mode=music

Please go to the above sites and read.
I have similair problem with a child. Teachers say is ADD. Bi-polar. Another parent from play group has a child whose behavoir is same as you spoke of. So I strongly erge you to type into your browser...ASPERGERS it is classified somewhere between ADD and AUTISIM.
I bet the little guy you speak of has a wonderful, vivid imagination.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to say this but what type of person wants to send a fricken SIX year old to a reform school. I disagree that this might be Aspergers as the symptoms you were given for it were not entirely correct. Aspergers is essentially the more high functioning type autism. The big signs for Aspergers are early language development, fascination with numbers and words (because of the patterns), inability to understand social cues (such as when not to speak/play and when to initiate contact), obsessing over certain topics to the point of surprising adults with his/her knowledge of said topic, and having difficulties with motor skills (ranges). There are testing centers that specialize in the diagnosis of autism and other psychological disorders in children, have them take the child to one. The kid sounds unruly with need of more structure in his life. I had a reward system where I put marbles in a jar for good behavior and traded them in for treats (more marbles =better treat). It worked.

Answer 3

I am not an expert but I find it hard to believe that no doctor could not help here with such well explained symptoms. You say he is Bi-Polar. Has a doctor in fact given that diagnosis? If so there is alot that doctors can do with that.

1. If he is only acting out at school maybe something traumatic happened at school that is making him act out in the only way he is able to cope. I would immediately stop any physical abuse from the school, that could be making the triggers worse. I would transfer him to another school where no one knows about his prior "behavior" as to not pre-judge him. (I have a friend that did this exact thing and it made the world of difference in his abilities and achievment at school).

2. Hiding soiled underwear and fibbing about wetting his pants sounds to me like he is afraid. Is he being punished too harshly for minor things? Wetting his pants should not be something that he is yelled at or punished about. You just change him, tell him to go on the potty next time and leave that power struggle alone. Once he sees that he gets no reaction from that, he may stop.

3. If it is his house, I would not consider eating the sausage "stealing"!

4. Without any further info, I would say that this child may need more quality attention. Also, I would reccomend to mom to get around a good circle of friends, that have children, so that they may be able to relate to her situation and be a good sound board and offer solid advice without passing judgement. My friend and I get on the phone and rant about our kids and once each one of us hear that we both have the same challenges, we realize that our kids are just kids. 6 is still very young.

Answer 4

Bi-polar disorder is very hard on everyone - especially the kid..I am sure he isn't truly cognizant of what he is doing. I would suggest meds ( most BP's can't function without them), if he is already on meds they really need to be looked at and changed because his actions are not acceptable. It can take months to get the meds at the correct dosage.I t would also be a good idea to try to find a therapist who specializes in children's behaviour modification or even better children with BP disorder...It may be a while before she can find the right therapist but it is worth the search. For everyone in the family. Good luck.

Answer 5

She should look to see if there are organizations in her area that offer respite care. I worked for a place that offered respite care for children with different special needs, from physical disabilities to mental illnesses. For most kids this meant someone would come pick them up and do something fun witht hem once a week, or care for them inside the home, so the parents could get six hours of time off. But I knew children with more severe special needs... in fact I am specifically thinking of one boy with Bi-Polar who sounds very similar to the boy you're talking about... who had respite workers coming to look after him every day from 3 to bedtime. This could take alot of pressure off of the parents, and also be agreat thing for the boy, because resptie workers focus on pisitive experiences and friendship, sort of like a mentor.

Answer 6

1. I think he may have been misdiagnosed. These aren't quite the symptoms of Bi-Polar and you usually don't show symptoms of it until Teen years.
2. If he hasn't been misdiagnosed... try the medications. Those are the only things that will help Bi-Polars make sense of everything and keep moods under control.

I would have your friend get a second opinion of his disorder.... This really doesn't sound all that similar to Bi-Polar. I know--- I've lived with two... and I may be one myself... too early too tell (according to my therapist) and I'm 19!... This poor boy is probably not getting the proper treatment... nor can you give it to him... possibly being misdiagnosed.

Answer 7

Find out if your state has Wraparound services. They provide Therapeutic Staff Support for children with a diagnosis ranging from AdHd, Autism Spectrum disorder, bi polar, abused etc. I do this part time. I go into the home and work with the child and parent. We set up behavior programs, do activities, go on outings etc. Its a really good program if parents are willing to do some work.

Answer 8

Find a better Dr. there is help out there, in Mi. there is a place call Pine-Rest they have in house care ,daycare,as well as school. They are a great bunch of people, surly there must be someplace in your area , if not call Pine Rest and maybe they could steer you in the right direction. Information for Mi is 1 [phone] I hope this helps.

Answer 9

I think that there is much missing in your discovery. I'm sure that if you spoke with the parents, there would be more clues to what is going on. Prayer, discipline; (structured and directed activity times may help.)

See a good Pastor. Consider the possibility of the child being possessed by an evil spirit.

Answer 10

Well obviously the mother needs to be more strict and more punishment needs to be involved, the kid needs some help, but also a good spanking, i know that may be a little harsh, but the kid needs some disipline, and he needs to see some kind of a doctor before something bad happens